One Tear for Me
by katsparkle13
Summary: She slowly faded from everyone's memory. After all, did anyone even know her name? But what happened in the arena, those first few days when we only know Katniss's story, she had formed an alliance. It was a bond so deep, once you read about it, you will never forget. But what if there is a part of the story you've never heard? Everything you know is wrong. Katniss was hijacked.
1. Shock

_~Behind this door, there's peace I'm sure. There'll be no more tears in heaven~_

The toe of my shoe scrapes the stones on the street as I try, and fail, to jump around the puddles of brown muck. No one really knows what the puddles are, but in a district covered in factories, I would prefer not to guess. The boots I'm wearing are too tight and covered in stains. The toes are worn in. They're a little out of place among the sandals of the other children running and screaming on the street. It's May. Most people stopped wearing boots months ago. Maybe if someone decided to donate something halfway decent to the orphanage for once….

The familiar chorus of shouts cuts through the heavy air. It's the market. A wave of good smells pours over me. It's easy to see why the Square is so crowded. The island of good smells is like a tiny island surrounded by chemicals and smog. I shove my hands into my pockets and make my way through the stalls. There. That's what I'm looking for. It's a little loaf of bread, maybe for one or two people, depending on how hungry I am. And it's so perfect. The woman who the stall belongs to is chatting away with the vegetable vendor. I never steal from him. His vegetables are often rotten. True, most people here wouldn't turn their nose up at that, but it's still cheating people. Maybe I should steal from him just to give him a taste of his own medicine…No. I take what I need, and only that.

Head down. Look away, All right, focus on the cameras someone is setting up. Reaping cameras. And just like that, the bread is inside my sweatshirt. I jolt my head around, but the odds must be in my favor today. Not a soul saw. I may not even have to make a running exit. But I do just the same. Better safe than sorry. The bread is uncomfortably warm and awkward as it hits my chest, but it's a small price to pay. That tesserae mush is disgusting. Every kid at the orphanage who is Reaping age has to take a bunch of tesserae, so we can all get fed. And since the government refuses to pay for halfway decent conditions, that's all we get.

I make my way down the now lonely streets. People are heading inside to get ready. Outside one gray apartment building; well everything here is gray, I see a girl sitting on the steps sobbing. Her thin little body is completely shaking. I'm guessing a 12 year old. Probably has to take tesserae for her family. For some reason, I find my hand out with a piece of bread ripped off. Sometimes I'm just impulsive. Besides, she looks like she hasn't had a good meal in weeks. She stands up, then quickly as a pickpocket, grabs the bread, like she doesn't quite trust me. Her frayed white dress hangs limply around her thin frame and I notice that she isn't wearing shoes. Homeless? Maybe. At least at the orphanage you get mush. "How many times is your name in there?" I blurt out.

Nice one, Finch. Way to be insensitive. Sometimes I just say too much. But the girl looks up at me with dull blue eyes. "17" she mumbles, her mouth full of bread. 17. That's a lot for someone so small. I feel like after my insensitive remark, maybe I should try to make her feel better. It's the least I could do. "Hey, that's not that much, you know." I whisper. The girl takes another bite of bread, and then looks up at me. Her blue eyes are so depressing that I have to try again. "No really. Think of all those thousands of kids in that square. And a lot of them have their name in there more than you. Like me. Mine's in there 38 times." Her eyes widen, as if she's surprised at this. Well, that's life. Especially if you were found alone in an empty apartment with no parents in sight. And they were never found again. And mine probably isn't the saddest story either.

I turn around to get back. I should probably dig around for some old skirt or something, not the fraying pants and too big green t-shirt I have on. I turn around to look at the girl. She seems fine enough finishing off the bread crumbs from her fingers. So I continue making my way down the narrow gray streets. Now that I have my parents on my mind, I can't not think about them. Just what I need now. Sad thoughts before the most tragic, morbid event of the year. But really? What kind of parents up and leave their kid behind? The headmistress once gave me the address to the apartment where I was found 11 years ago, when I was 5. At the time I was given the address, I was 12. It was the day before my first Reaping and I wanted to say a possible goodbye to my very possibly dead parents and that seemed the best way.

I remember how nice the place was. It was just your typical apartment, maybe bigger, but to me it seemed like a palace. It was still empty, so I was allowed to look around. There was no furniture, but light came through a window, which was pretty. Most apartments don't have windows, so I think they were wealthier than most. And I was found with a gold necklace around my neck. I lost it (threw it out?) years ago. I'm not the sentimental type who keeps every piece of her parents possible. Actually, I hate the people. Let's just run off to God knows where, maybe even a better district and leave our 5 year old behind! It's not like we have anything against her, in fact, we're perfectly normal. But heck, she's a burden, so let's just ditch the whiny thing! I'm sure you understand why I threw everything away now. Sometimes it's just easier to forget.

I'm so occupied with my thoughts that I don't even notice I'm already at the orphanage. That happens a lot. The sounds of plates being stacked and washed echo through the narrow hallway. Cable waves from where he's sponging a plate. I hold back a laugh at the sight of him in an apron. He's 17, one year my senior, and not exactly a small guy. He grins at me and offers a curtsy. Now I'm really holding back a laugh. I have to run upstairs before the Cook sees me. She's very big on using that wooden spoon. Actually, she probably only uses it for young kids. The last time I got it I was 9. But that's enough.

Once in my tiny room, I frantically begin throwing things out of the clothes box. Gray pants in the exact same style as my navy ones. Jackets. Socks. Not a single dress or good pair of shoes in sight. A book lies on my small iron-framed bed. It's a huge one about plants and their purposes. Ever since I was really young, I've had an obsession with plants, seeing as how there are none around here. I might even own an apothecary when I get older. But I have to focus on right now. And a skirt.

A high voice makes me whirl around. "I have a skirt in my bow that's too big for me. It's gray, like everything here, but better than nothing. And Mora, across the hall, turned 19 three days ago and she has a pair of nice shoes that are way too small for her." It's Trisa, the girl I share my room with. She stands in the doorway, long black hair hanging in front of her pale face, grinning. The whole raven hair with ghostly pale skin makes a lot of people a little scared of her, along with the fact that she's considerably _different_ make all the girls her age stay away from her. What can I say? 13 year old girls can be real bitches, can't they? I run up to Trisa and hug her so tightly her feet leave the ground.

"Thank you so much! You're the best!"

Trisa flips her hair back and grins again. "Hey, anything to help you impress your boyfriend." She giggles. I don't even answer her on that one. Practically every girl here is convinced Cable and I are a couple. How about, ummm, just friends? He really is a good guy and a good friend. I mean, we've been friends since we were Trisa's age. Call us a couple if that's what floats your boat, it's just something we both feel weird about. And with that I take off into Mora's room to get the shoes.

A cold wind whistles through the silent square. That's fitting. A girl next to me shivers, and then starts to cry. I see a single tear make its way down her face. Sometimes I just wish no one ever cried. Because I want so badly to comfort this girl I don't even know right now. But I can't. So I just settle for clenching my fists and listening to our escort whose name I can't even remember prattle on about the Dark Days. I lift my head for a little to search for Cable among the boys, but there are too many. So I settle for just keeping my head down.

"Let's start with the gentlemen!"

There is something in this woman's voice. It's almost a purr. In fact, if I get a close look, she does seem a bit cat like. Her fingernails are so long they could be claws. Ready to snatch children to their death….Oh, cut that out Finch. No more morbid thoughts.

Please don't let it be Cable. Don't let it be Cable. Please. Why is this taking so long anyway? Oh, right. Give those Capital monsters a good show.

"Atom Ergo!"

A gangly boy, all knees and elbows comes out of the 16 year old boy section. I have never seen him before. And I am undeniably grateful.

A girl in front has started to cry too. At first I think maybe she knows him, but I recognize the girl as Astatine Saunders. Astatine is a bit sensitive. Well, really sensitive. Usually it bothers me a little, but not today. Our escort has just called for the "Ladies." Sometimes I wish I could cry like that. Head down.

"Finch!"

That's it. No last name. That's how I know it was mine. Every face in front of me turns around to look at me. Astatine's sobs rise above the silence. Crunch. The gravel beneath my feet is loud as a gunshot. Crunch. And there I am, up on the stage. Another cold wind whistles through the Square. Now a second sob cuts through the air and I whip my head around. It's Trisa. Trisa. What is she going to do without me?

The escort, in her fuchsia suit, looks at me with a disbelieving expression. What is it? I guess people don't have feeling in the districts then? She just instructs me to shake hands with Atom. His hand is cold.

"You can't go!"

Trisa cries as she runs into the room, where people come to say their goodbyes. "Please don't go!" She throws herself into my arms. I lift my hand to rub her back a little, like I did when she was younger and had just come to the orphanage, but I find myself crying too. I try to be this perfect person who can always comfort, but sometimes I'm the one who needs comforting, I guess. Trisa curls up on the couch beside me and rests her head on my shoulder. "I'm sorry Cable didn't come." She whispers.

It doesn't matter. Yes, we are friends, but not as close as I am to Trisa. And everyone has a way of dealing with their grief. Actually, I am silently thankful he never came. It's hard enough already. Trisa looks me in the eye, her black hair falling in front of her face again.

"You have to try not to kill anyone, okay? Finch, I want you to go to heaven."

Heaven? It's been so long since I last heard that word. Most people don't use it, especially not in its right way. Usually it's just sort of an idea; like "this weather is heaven" I've never heard a kid use it as the place before. And what is it? But Trisa's face is lined in tears and she starts to quiver. "Please. I want to be able to see you again, even if it's there." Heaven. Where I can see Trisa again. And my parents. What it would be like, way up there in the stars? I lean over and out my arm around Trisa's bony shoulders.

"If I don't come back, Trisa, I want you to remember something."

She looks at me with wide blue eyes. They are so blue. What will it be like never to see them again?

"There are no tears in heaven."


	2. Alone

_~Would it be the same, if I saw you in heaven? ~_

The first things I notice are his eyes. I've been watching these Reapings for a long time now. I've watched them enough to know that once you get past the first Career districts, the look is the same in everyone. Even me. Each one of us widens our eyes as soon as our name is called. We stand, paralyzed in fear, the only thing moving are our pupils, shifting wildly. As if searching. For what? Then, we shut them. Slowly. I know why. We don't want to acknowledge what has just happened. But he acknowledges it. And he doesn't do just that. In fact, he faces his fate head on. While the rest of us have eyes of shock, then fright, his are of anger.

I hit the replay button over and over again, watching his face. And those deep brown eyes. When his tiny district partner slowly walks up to the stage, he moves his head down, biting on his lip. I know that's what I do when I'm trying not to cry. That's what I was doing the whole first few hours on this train. But after just a second, he lifts his head back up. And he glares. He just stares at the back of that ridiculous Capital escort with an ice cold expression. That is the reason I am drawn to him. Because in just the few minutes his Reaping lasted, he expressed every emotion each and everyone one of us felt, but was too scared to show.

My mentor watches from the back of the room as I keep hitting the "Replay" button. It's not like she's noticing or anything. She's a morphling. And right now, like she has been for the last few hours, she's staring into space with glazed eyes. Atom is still in his room. Traumatized. He's stopped sobbing long ago. I think he's just shaking now. So I'm free to hit "Replay" as many times as I like. But now I've moved on to District 12. Oh, it's not like I'm "sizing up the competition." I can't win. Not after seeing those Careers. I just want to know where these kids come from. What they are really like. Even if I just get a split second of raw emotion, it's enough. I'm not very good at remembering names. I can only remember a handful out of all these children. Yes, that's what they are. Just children, all of us, even the Careers. But by the end of Training, I will know all of their names.

So far, I can remember, form District 1, Marvel. He was the boy with the small smile creeping onto his lips. The girl was…Shimmer? She had golden hair and she waved when she got onto the stage. It made my stomach turn. Then there was that monstrous boy from 2 with the shock of blond hair on his head. The only Career that really stood out was his partner. Clover? She was so tiny, no more than fourteen. But she had the strangest, expressionless glare that sent my stomach into knots once again.

I can't remember the boy with the deep brown eyes, but his partner's name is Rue. According to my book of plants, it's a little yellow flower. It's pretty, like her. I move my head down instinctively when I see a tear make its way down her cheek. I hate watching people cry. I always have. She is so alone. We're all so alone.

The shout cuts through the air like a knife. Andrea, my mentor with the glazed eyes, suddenly jolts upright. I lean into my seat to get a better look at the television screen. What was that? That girl right there, in the blue dress, I'm sure she just shouted something. And that little girl in the center aisle, she must have been reaped. I watch the girl in the blue dress struggle with the guards. "I volunteer!" Her voice rings out, strong and full. She doesn't have the slightest bit of fear. In fact, confidence radiates from her body. I notice that she's well-fed looking, a contrast to all the others. She isn't small either, at least not compared to me. She holds herself in a way that just makes her look tall. And she volunteered.

I can't stop thinking about that voice, long after the screen goes off. Andrea slowly moves toward me. I almost pull away from her. It's not like she's ever made an effort to help us before. In fact, as soon as Atom went to his little room at the end of the train, and started sobbing, she half-shouted half-moaned for him to stop. I hate her. Hate is such a strong word, but right now I just can't control myself. And for a good reason.

I want to just break something, make something crack, make something shatter so that it can never be repaired. Like I will be. but I just settle for grinding my teeth so hard my jaw cries out in protest. Andrea looks at me. She tilts her head to the side, like she's really noticing me for the first time. I hear her inhale. "Don't you dare forget to think twice." The words are so flat I nearly miss them. With that, Andrea gets up to leave, leaving behind a slight scent of something like chemicals. Her words echo through my head as someone calls me from across the hall to dinner. _Don't you dare forget to think twice._

As I slide into my seat at the empty table, I notice Atom walking through the doorway. He looks distinctly like someone who has just suffered a complete breakdown but is trying to cover it up. His eyes are swollen and his hair is a mess. I feel a wave of pity come over me, and then I vaguely wonder why I'm not crying. But all thoughts are pushed aside as Aurelia (I have found the name of the cat-like escort) comes in with a grin so large I nearly wince. But I don't because right behind her come three men dressed in white, with trays. The smell coming from the trays is enough to make my mouth water. Once the lift up the silver lids, I realize the smell is nothing compared to the food's look.

On one plate it looks like some kind of bird, cooked to a golden color, surrounded by vegetables in such vibrant colors I almost wonder if they're real. That's right. They probably only look so vibrant because I hardly ever get vegetables. And from the look in Atom's eyes, it's the same with everyone else in the district. Before I can taste some for the meat or vegetables though, there is a thick red soup which fills me with warmth. Aurelia is chatting away about stylists and chariots, but I don't hear a thing. When the soup is lifted away, I pause to look up. Andrea has spent the whole meal stirring her soup. I fill up with disgust. How could anyone be so selfish? The children I know would be willing to do unspeakable things just to get a miniscule portion of this food. I grind my teeth again. It seems this has become my new way of channeling emotions.

When the last tray has finally been cleared, Atom immediately rushes out of the room. It's no wonder. He didn't stop to breathe the entire meal. I think he's eaten so much he's just going to be sick. Maybe it was because he was just so nervous and scared that he couldn't stop. Maybe he just didn't want more time alone with his thoughts. I was tempted to do the same, but I really did try not to overdo it. I'm fuller than I've ever felt in my life though. Aurelia looks considerably after Atom's hasty exit and she rushes back to her compartment, likely because she doesn't even want to be on the same side of the train as us anymore. The woman who can't ever pull herself together, the boy who cries so much he never seems to be able to speak, and the girl whose eyes are so wide in fear she never seems to blink.

I head into my compartment and lie on the bed. The steady _whoosh _of the train is almost calming. Like a lullaby. Suddenly, a tear falls. I can't have time to think before another comes, and soon they begin to flow freely. I'm not gasping and sobbing, like I thought it would be. It's more like a hole is slowly growing and I just feel so sad I can't escape it. Sadness can't be the right word for it. I just want to shut it all out. So that's exactly what I do. It isn't long at all before I fall asleep. All the while I can't stop thinking of his eyes.


	3. Avoid

_~Would you hold my hand, if I saw you in heaven?~_

My stylist beams with pride. He's spent the last, I don't know, hour at least, exclaiming how perfect it is. I just nod stiffly. Maybe that's due to the fact that I can't move my neck. It's really the most hideous thing I've ever seen. The costume I'm supposed to wear is covered in silver sparkles and it has a circular headdress that sparkles so brightly I'm surprised he isn't shielding his eyes. Honestly, I've never seen anything like it before. Maybe if I ever saw someone on the screen wearing this, some other miserable, unfortunate kid, I might giggle at them and turn to Trisa. She would probably be giggling too. But right after, we'd realize were they will end up. Then we would shake our heads in pity at them, like we always do. It suddenly hits me. _I'm that person. _I'm that terrified kid whose fate is written in stone.

My footsteps echo in the long hallway. My stylist, whose name I have forgotten, rests his hand on my shoulder. He turns to look at me, with brown eyes flecked with gold. Definitely some kind of Capital fashion idea.

"We're walking towards the elevator, and from there we'll head to the chariot."

His voice is surprisingly soft. All of a sudden, I stop walking. I just can't go on any further. My feet just stopped. Like I wish I could. I wish more than anything that everything could just stop. The sparkles on my dress begin to blur as I hold back tears. _No, I won't cry. _No, not in front of him. I don't even know him. But suddenly, his grip on my shoulder tightens. I feel him leaning his head into mine. Suddenly, those gold flecked eyes are looking straight into mine.

"You can't go down there, can you?" He whispers. His voice in my ear makes me pull up my hand to my head. I've never liked whispers. Whispers mean secrets, when they aren't being directed at you. When someone does direct whatever secret they are saying about someone to me, it means they think we can trust each other. And hell will have to freeze over before I can trust any of these people.

His hand drops so that it brushes mine, but I'm glad it doesn't return to my shoulder. I was beginning to feel very uncomfortable.

"You don't trust me, do you?" He smiles.

I pause. This has to be the most unusual conversation I've ever had. But I nod slowly. This time, there is no more smile on his face. Instead, he has grown very serious.

"You will."

That all he says and I can't even register it because Atom and his stylist have come bursting out of their dressing room doors and into the elevator. My stylist and I rush to follow them. The doors close the second after we arrive. Atom catches my eye, but we quickly look away. My finger begins to tap at my side. I do this when I'm thinking really hard. What could my stylist have meant? I'm going to trust him? What could he possibly do to earn my trust? The elevator doors swing open with a soft whirring sound, and I'm instantly greeted by a flurry of voices.

I hear loud shouting first. In the corner of the gigantic room, a group of extremely well dressed men are shouting out some kind of numbers that I can't understand. Placing bets? Likely. I watch them as we walk past them to get to the chariot. Almost all of them are grinning. One of them catches me looking at him, and flashes me a smile and a wink, then turns to the man next to him, gesturing to me. All of a sudden, my stomach is in knots.

"Don't look at them."

I'm surprised to hear the cat-like purr of Aurelia, my escort again. But there she is, taking notes on that notepad of hers. "Don't look at them and just focus on the task ahead, all right dear?" I nod stiffly. Focus. That's what I need to do. Atom and I head over to our chariot without any further interruptions. As we wait, Atom turns to me.

"Do you t-t-think" he stutters. I lean in. I actually think this is the first time we've spoken. Whatever happened to the Finch who used to constantly get in trouble in class for talking? Or who always got on the cook's bad side for joking with Cable and Trisa when I should have been cleaning? Have I talked at all? "Do you t-think we could be allies?" Atom blurts out. It's so sudden I don't know how to respond. So I respond honestly.

"I haven't given it too much thought. I mean, we don't really know anything about each other. I think I just want to wait before we decide." I'm surprised at how soft my voice sounds. It's almost like it's hoarse from not enough use. Atom looks momentarily hurt and taken aback. I instantly feel bad for what I said. But I can't take it back, and honestly, I don't want to. Though Finch back in the district didn't think much before she spoke, she always thought about what she did. I mean, I always did well on tests and once, just for the sake of trying, I took the "District Outreach" test when I was 12, to see if I could qualify to possibly get sent to a Career district to train. I passed. Of course I didn't go.

Atom seems to have composed himself now. He fingers the metallic silver of his shirt. "Yeah, I kind of thought you'd say that." He whispers. I try to avoid eye contact with him. Guilt is a terrible feeling. That's probably why I never went away to train. Even when I was 12, I knew that I could never bring myself to kill someone. I move my head around, trying to see thses tributes in person. For a split second, the girl from 12, Kat…something starting with that, locks eyes with me. But then she's back to talking with her partner. I seem to be making many of these split-second connections with people so far, because for a moment I lock eyes with the 11 boy's eyes as well. Those big brown eyes. This time, I make myself pull away. But something tells me that he's still looking at me, even when my back is turned. And then I see them.

The pair from 2 is deep in conversation. They have their heads bent together; the boy has to bring his down a bit, considering the small height of his partner. Now, I weigh 115 pounds, but she looks smaller. Their voices are low and hushed, but they seem to be having some sort of argument. The girl, Clove begins gesturing madly. I only catch one phrase out of her mouth as I strain to listen. "What if…" She says this a little more loudly. And what's so strange is that she looks to be tearing up. What if? What if what? I wish I could have heard the rest. What could make someone's eyes tear up like that, let alone a Career?

But now the boy is talking. And his voice is louder, so I don't have to strain as much to hear the words out of his mouth. "Everything is going to be fine." He says this quite clearly. And that's when I spot it. I have to hold myself from letting out a gasp. His fingers just brushed hers and held onto them. Those huge fingers of his are interlaced with her tiny ones. Oh my God. _Two Careers?! How did that happen? Are they in love? Or is he some kind of "brotherly" figure? _Whatever it is, they definitely have some kind of relationship with one another. And that can never last.

I reach out my hand to tap Atom's shoulder. It seems like something I should I tell him about. But then I don't. I've found a weakness, a chink in the seemingly flawless career armor. And maybe, just maybe, I can find some way to use it against them. Only in the Games could something like love be twisted so much. I don't why I'm thinking like this, but it's too late for second thoughts now. The first chariot has just pulled out.

As I step into my chariot, I think back to what my stylist said. How I will trust him. Of course! He must have been talking about my outfit. Maybe he saw the way I was looking at it so full of doubt. He's probably sure that this outfit is sure to win over people somehow. And why should I not trust him on that? At least, I should act like I have some sense of confidence. Even if the people see me wearing perhaps the most ridiculous outfit imaginable, I can still hope to make some kind of impression.

_Don't overdo it. _A small voice in the back of my head whispers these thoughts. Yes, this is the Finch I know. She always thinks everything over. Maybe it would be best to simply fly under everyone's radar. _What difference does it make? You're going to die anyway. _I almost want to hit myself. Atom looks over at with an eyebrow raised in concern, but I just give him a small nod back as our chariot leaves.

I don't know why, but somehow I bring myself to raise an arm up. It's shaking from nerves. And then, I make it shake a little more, and try to put what I can only hope is a pathetic smile on my face. Because no arms raised and no smile means I think I'm above it all. A confident arm and a bright smile mean that I know what I'm doing and I'm going to be a sponsor trap somehow. And if I end up looking like Atom, who is clutching the side of the chariot looking like he's going to be sick, well, nothing will work in my favor. Our chariot finally pulls to a stop in front of the giant balcony where the president is making a speech. Suddenly, I'm conscious of a bright light from my right side. Fire.

The pair from 12 is on fire! I try to stop from staring, but I can't help it. The only thing filling my mind is wonder. How could their stylist have managed to make something so beautiful out of something so horrible? It's the most amazing thing I've ever seen. But then, I lower my eyes just a little. They are holding hands. And it appears that I'm not the only one to have noticed either.

Clove has just nudged her partner. It was subtle, not enough for anyone to notice, but now he sees them too. And he's not happy. He just barely whispers something in her ear, then turns to face forward again. But she just keeps staring at them. I have to admit, she's good. Her face shows absolutely no trace of emotion. It's as if she was a painting, but someone forgot the most important part. And it's actually really scary. I resist the urge to shudder, and turn away. So there are two couples now?

At last, we are back in the room where we started. The first thing Atom and I do is take off those ridiculous headdresses. But instead of sticking with Andrea and me, though she is a useless mentor, Atom just takes off for the elevator. I think he's sobbing. Aurelia runs chasing after him, tripping in her heels. I'm worried I've just made a scene of our district in front of the other tributes, but no one seems to have noticed. The girl from 6 is having similar problems, and that whole group is gone in a flash. But the pair from 2 can't take their eyes off . So we've got some enemies already.

At last, it's just Andrea, me and a few straggling districts. I walk into an elevator and push the button, but as the doors swing shut, a big brown hand stops them. The boy from 11 pulls the doors open and he, a woman who I guess to be their mentor and the little girl slide in. It feels so strange to have him standing right next to me. The little girl looks up at me. I can think of nothing else other than to give her a small smile. Rue looks surprised, but doesn't turn away too quickly, like all the other people I've seen today. Instead, she looks at me as if to test if I'm really sincere. The boy looks at me questioning too. As the doors ding open on my floor, Andrea slides out. But I stay back. Quickly, I whisper in the boy's ear.

"I'm sorry." I get out and as the doors swing shut, I hear a soft voice.

"I'm sorry too." Little Rue is staring at her feet as she says these words. The boy looks at me, then nods. That's it. But it's enough.


	4. Listen

_~I'll find my way, through night and day~_

The sunlight filters through my window. I clutch the bed sheet, which is as soft as I imagine clouds would be. I have never slept in a bed like this. But then again, everything here is so unfamiliar. The colors are so bright here it almost hurts to look at. The buildings and streets look like something out of the candy shop in my district, even though no one could afford to eat anything there. I remember the way Trisa used to pull at my sleeve back when she was younger and beg for candy. I'm only two years older than her, but then I was convinced I was her big sister who had to take care of her all the time. I still am, I guess. I always will. I'm not ready to open my eyes yet. I don't want to leave the calm of sleep and be forced with brightness. But I force my eyes open anyway.

The floor beneath me creaks as I set my feet down. The nightgown which I found lying on my bed last night swishes gently, like no other kind of cloth I've worn before. Instantly, I'm reminded of Trisa in her scratchy nightgown that she outgrew years ago. I feel a sharp pain in my chest and I have to sit down again. It comes suddenly. I heave a sob. It comes from the bottom of my chest, but there is no sound. No tears. I stay there for a while, sitting on the edge of my bed. Eventually, I bring myself to a standing position again and go into the bathroom.

As I saw last night, it's a wonder in its own. There is an intricate colored pattern on the ground. I have yet to step into the intimidating machine that I know is supposed to be the shower. Instead, I throw on the clothes that have been mysteriously laid out for me, just like the nightgown was. They are comfortable and make me feel ready for what is to come. Well, not really. I'll never really be ready. At least the boots vaguely tell of him. Of mud puddles and the stench of something unrecognizable. Of a market full of shouting vendors. Of a small, slight girl with a flash of red hair dodging between as she takes matters into her own hands. How long has it been since that day?

I pull my hair into a tight ponytail, then tuck it into a bun. Not a hair is out of place. Just the way I like it. I remember when I was younger, the girls at school used to tease me for always having the same hairstyle every day and for the fact I wore it so tightly. But I like having some sense of order in my life, to balance out the chaos. Even if it is just hair. I gently close the door to the bathroom behind me and wander about my room uncertainly. Is someone going to alert me as to when training begins? I eye a panel of buttons along a wall, along with a shoot next to it. Some childlike urge in me tells me to push one. I have always been what I can only describe as a risk-taker. So I push one.

Instantly, I hear a whir. I feel regretful about my decision. I am also extremely impulsive. A plate suddenly appears and I pick it up. On it is a piece of bread that's an eye-watering shade of yellow, with some kind of bright pink fruit spread on top. I almost drop the plate out of disgust. These past few days have been full of extremely unfamiliar things, but this is too far. Here, food literally appears at the push of a button. No one ever has to work for it. It's just there, as if limitless. And yet, so many people in my home are starving! I set the plate down, my stomach turning. With that, I practically race out of the room.

Breakfast is a silent affair. Once again, food just appears, but this time it is in the hands of the people who waited on us last night as well. I stare at the array of foods. _Be careful Finch. Those foods on the train were very rich and they made you feel quite slow afterwards. _I take a breath. Right, I had a strange feeling in my stomach after eating the food here, almost as if I never wanted to get up again. I hated that feeling. At least when you're hungry, you are alert.

So I carefully place a roll, an apple, and a bit of oatmeal on my plate. I can tell I have Andrea and Aurelia's eyes on me, as well as those of my stylist whose name I can't remember. Atom is too busy slurping some kind of hot liquid with a look of surprise and delight on his face. His plate, I notice, is piled high.

When at last the plates have been cleared, Andrea suddenly looks right at me. Her eyes seem in focus. She brings her hand up, and suddenly pounds the table. I flinch slightly and Atom drops the green fruit he was holding. "Well," she says in a gruff voice, "it's time we stopped putting it off and got down to the Training Center."

As I stand inside the elevator, rubbing my sweaty palms along the side of my pants, I realize I hate the things. They are so small. What if they get stuck? What if the cranks working them just stop? There is no way to escape. We would be trapped. I hate that feeling more than any other. Suddenly, I feel my fingertips shaking. I can't do this. I can't go down there and face the others. I feel Aurelia's gaze shift down to my fingers, so I grab them and attempt to look collected.

My first impression of the place is that it's enormous. Really, it's a wonder they were able to fit this thing here. The walls and floors are made of some kind of harsh metallic material and the room is filled with "stations." As the other tributes make their way around me, I focus on the stations. Of course, there is every weapon imaginable. I see an archery range, and a rack of throwing knives. Next to it stand a rack of swords, with a circle of lifelike dummies. Long, curved blades and spears cover the other wall. Staring at this section sends my stomach into knots. And somewhere deep within me, I know that I can never pick one of those things up.

Finally, a young woman comes to the front and begins speaking. I try to absorb as much of what she says as possible. It seems to me she's stressing survival skills, rather than weapons. Interesting. That's a far different approach than I would have expected. Could this mean she feels some sort of empathy for those of us who know we are incompetent with even the smallest of knives? Or is this some kind of ego-booster for us? More than half than tributes spontaneously committing suicide because we know we can't win can't be entertaining for anyone.

She barely has time to finish her last word, when at least 5 or 6 tributes race over to the weapons section. The rest follow, but off to the different survival stations. I whip my head around wildly, trying to make sense of it all. I want to go somewhere where few are congregated. I make my way over to a huge computer screen and press what I assume is the Start button. It just seems like instinct that I went right over here because computer screens are the only vaguely familiar thing here to me.

I soon realize that it's a sort of game. I have to eliminate all the poisonous plants. I almost sense a smile on my face as I recall the names from that enormous plant book. And some of what I eliminate is just educated guesses. I don't get them all right, but I'm close. And I've got time for improving. In fact, as I finally pass the first level completely, I almost feel a smile form on my face. Almost.

I don't even here the bell ring, indicating that lunch is being served, but I see everyone else heading towards the door, so I click the Stop button and follow. I'll have more time later. Once inside what I assume is the cafeteria, I grab a tray and put a bowl of some kind of stew on it. At home, the stew was a pale gray, with gray vegetables inside it, soft and mushy. If we were lucky, there would be a few pieces of gray, tough beef in it. Here, the herbs in the soup are such a vibrant green I almost have to blink. There are many pieces of beef and the stew itself is a warm red-brown color. I place a roll and an apple on the tray. I've gotten a love for these crisp fruits, which used to be such a rarity. Protein. Carbs. Fruit. That sounds about right. Just being organized in that sense helps me feel a little calmer.

But as I make my way away from the food, I realize I don't know where to sit. Obviously, the Careers have chosen to sit together, but they actually don't look too happy doing that. Except for our lovely little District 2 couple. Who has still gone unnoticed. Everyone seems to have chosen to sit apart, except for the District 12 and, for some reason, District 3 tributes. Well, there aren't an infinite amount of tables so that everyone can just get their own. I have to sit next to someone else.

_Don't be stupid. This is hardly a big deal. Just sit at the other end of the table and they won't even notice you. _So District 11 it is. I sit at the end of the table, and he doesn't even look up. Well, that couldn't be more typical. So I turn my attention to the other tributes. A remarkably forced laugh comes out of the girl from 12's mouth. It's so fake _I _have to hold back a laugh. The Careers have turned around with looks of everything from amusement to annoyance on their faces. Come on. They may be bloodthirsty, but they aren't stupid. The blond one rolls her eyes and goes back to picking at her salad and giggling at something one of the boys is saying. But the small one, Clove, just keeps staring at them. Her eyes are just so cold. And she can't be much older than Trisa. It's sick, what these kids have been made into. No way is that girl stable. I make a mental note of that. The unstable ones are the most dangerous. However, they don't think twice. That's what gets them in the end. And then, it hits me.

No wonder she's so angry with that "fake" girl. Not only is her laugh fake, but so is their relationship. They're not in love, and I don't know who they're fooling, but it's not her. So she's unstable, but able to pick up on cues like that. But her relationship isn't fake. There's just one problem. No one can know about it. Because once someone is playing at a certain angle, it's useless copying them, no matter how good at it you are. No, she can't love him anymore. At it's all that 12's fault.

"That little girl freaks me out."

The gruff voice makes me jump in my seat. The huge boy sitting at the table, the one with those big brown eyes, is talking to me. It takes me more than I'm sure he expected to register that. He clears his throat.

"That girl with that black-ish hair and freckles, is she unstable or something?" He pauses. "And the rest of too. The whole time we were supposed to be training, they were just arguing in a corner and laughing at the rest of us. I mean, what's wrong with them?"

His voice suddenly drops to a whisper on the last line.

"Well, I expect it's just how they were raised. I mean, Districts 1 and 2 can't really be the most pleasant place to grow up, right?" I manage to get out. I've noticed he's moved closer from his spot on the table so he can talk to me. His eyebrows crease.

"But they're just Capital lapdogs with death wishes. They get all the food they want, while the rest of us are starving." His voice is raised. It's not loud enough for others to hear, but I'm still worried.

"At least we don't have to train to kill other children from the time we can walk. At least we don't have to get our minds twisted like that."

There is a long pause. I'm afraid to look back at that huge boy and the expression of anger he always seems to wear. I slowly turn around. But to my surprise, he just has his eyebrows raised in a question.

"You aren't like the rest of us here, are you?"

The question takes me by surprise. What does he mean by that? He leans in closer and whispers to me.

"I mean, we're all just…off at this point. Mentally, I mean. Most of us are just so scared we can't think straight, and the rest are already unstable. But you, I saw you in training. You just seem so calculating and…sane."

I play with my spoon. So everyone is twisted except for me? So does that mean he is as well? He doesn't seem scared out of his mind, but then again, at least in my opinion, many of the tributes here have exhibited that trait. Like we're all trying to be stronger than we are.

"What's your name?"

The question comes out of nowhere, just like the last one. But his voice sounds so soft. It's completely out of place, what with him being so tough looking. His eyes are so warm. And in that instant, I know I can trust him. He's so calm when he wants to be, but inside he's fiery and just…strong. Like it or not, I need him. At least for now.

"My name is Finch." He lips curl into a smile at the ends. Oh, it's like a storm broke! His smile is really something to see. He nods.

"We have finches in the orchards. They're nice, especially the little yellow ones. My little sister loves them." He nods to the tiny girl sitting at the table behind us, who is staring at her empty tray with strange intensity. "Rue loves them too." He whispers.

I lower my eyes and begin playing with my spoon again. Then, I softly clear my throat.

"What's your name?" I question hesitantly. I shouldn't be getting too close to anyone. But it's only right.

"My name is Thresh."


	5. Reveal

_~ Would you help me stand, if I saw you in heaven? ~_

I spend almost all of my time during the rest of our training at the computer screen, clicking away at the pictures of plants until they became blurry. I'm doing that now, when suddenly, my finger slips. I sigh under my breath as the beep alerts me that I've accidently sorted a poisonous plant as edible. I don't have this time to waste. Really, I knew it was poisonous from the start. But the plants profile comes up on the screen anyway.

It looks like a blueberry, but I know it isn't. It's red on the inside. I hastily click the screen shut. Now that I think of it, maybe it would be best to shut the screen off. There is much more to be done. So I take a breath and walk away from it. But now there is the question of what station to go to. I head toward the water cooler and grab a little paper cup full of cold water as I think. Over at the snares station, I see the pair from 12 bent over their work. No, definitely not for me. That girl seems to be quite good at it, and my lack of experience would be extremely evident. Besides, I wouldn't want to intrude on them and their little "relationship."

My eyes wander to the ropes course. Who knows? I could be good at that. But instantly a flash of red catches my eye and I see someone's shirt up there. A face looks down straight at me, with large brown eyes just like Thresh's. It's his little partner and she's already at the top. Oh well. Why would I need to be a good climber anyway? A thought crosses my mind. _Finch, how are you going to make through the first night if you don't even have a weapon? _I give a small sigh. I knew I'd have to face this eventually. I throw the paper cup out and walk over to the weapons area.

I don't really know what I expected. Maybe a Career to laugh once they saw me coming? That's what happened to Atom yesterday. Do I expect a dirty look, like the ones Thresh has been receiving, as hits every lethal area on that dummy's body with his scythe? But nothing happens. The boy from 1 still hasn't taken his eye off his spear, the girl hasn't moved from her conversation with Cato. (I've just recently found out his name) and Clove is still eyeing the rack of knives.

It's perfect, I know. I mean, why would I want their attention in the first place? Still, a tiny part of me wishes for that. At least being seen as some type of competition, even if it gets me killed, might be better that just being anonymous. But instantly I dismiss that thought as completely stupid and grab a dagger off a rack before I can think twice.

Instantly, a trainer rushes over to me and instructs me on the right way to hold a dagger. My face flushes red as I correct my hold. Suddenly, he's going on and on about how to throw one, how to attack someone when they can't see it coming, how to use one in close-range and how to make sure I don't accidently end up cutting a finger off by not demonstrating proper technique. Well, at this point the last one seems most likely as I couldn't understand a word of what he was saying. Once the trainer has left to "help" some poor girl from District 9, I'm left alone. Fingering the dagger, I try to decide what I should do. Should I give it a chance? Or would it be wise to pick up another weapon? Suddenly, I get the feeling I'm being watched.

Clove stands behind the knife rack, her arms crossed as if she's expecting something. The others are watching too. Even the boy whose name I don't know has set down his spear. But not one of them is smirking or laughing, like I saw them do as they watched the boy from 12 or the other tributes. No, instead they just look curious. And a little expectant. Then it hits me. They are expecting something. They're actually taking me seriously. Because they want to see what I can do. They want to see if I can join them.

And just like that, I put the dagger down. No. I'll never sink to their level. Right then and there I decide that if I'm going to die, when I'm going to die, I'll die innocent. I won't die a killer. Besides, if I don't make any kills, none of the tributes can hold a grudge against me for killing their friend or ally. If no one is against me, no one is hunting me. I look at the dagger, lying there on the table. It will stay there. I can't do this anymore. I feel my hands turning into fists, but I stuff them in my pocket and walk away.

"Oh, poor sweet girl isn't going to pick up a weapon?"

The sticky sweet, almost whiny voice makes me stop in my tracks. God, it's the worst sound I've ever heard. The blond girl, whose hair I've noticed always seems to be in place, is smirking at me. She flips her hair back. As if she wasn't obnoxious enough already. The boy behind her, the one from her District, looks at her with puppy eyes, then laughs like the total idiot I'm sure he is.

"Little girl won't last an hour." He grins. The blond one just rolls her eyes and turns back to her crossbow or whatever it is. I guess I thought I'd see the other ones laughing too, like those sick District 1 Careers, but Cato looks completely indifferent towards the whole thing. Oh well. I'm sure he didn't expect much anyway. Only Clove is left to stare at me. She isn't smiling in the least, but rather is giving me a look I can only decide what a butcher looks like as he decides where to make the first cut. My stomach coils and I turn away as quickly as possible.

We're dismissed from training early so we can go talk to our mentors on what we're planning to do for the private sessions. I have time to whisper a quick "good luck" in Thresh's ear before he gets into the elevator. He just nods back. I can tell he's nervous. It's strange because I feel nothing at all.

The ride upstairs, with just Atom, feels very tense. His eyes dart madly around the small space. Finally, as we get out, I can't stand it much more. As the doors swing open, I put my hand quickly on his shoulder. He whirls around. "Atom, you'll be fine. Just think that it will be over soon." I tell him quietly. I guess he can make of it what he will.

Once we're back inside the enormous space we've been calling home for the past few days, Atom demands to know where Andrea. Aurelia just shrugs and points vaguely to Andrea's room. Atom clenches his fists and takes a shuddering breath.

"Does anyone around here care that we're going to die?!" He roars. Aurelia cowers back and even I flinch. I can tell Aurelia isn't used to having people yell at her. She remains in her curled in position until Atom runs out of the room and slams the door of his room behind him. "Atom..." Aurelia whispers weakly. But it's no use. He's gone. I turn to Aurelia.

"Do you think I can just go to Andrea's room and talk to her now, or would that be a bad idea?" Aurelia stares at her pointy shoes. I almost want to apologize for Atom's behavior, but suddenly that seems stupid. So I just walk down the hallway to Andrea's room and hope for the best. Though with Andrea, I'm not entirely sure what that is. I take a deep breath and try to open her door. I'm surprised it isn't locked and I hear it click open. I give myself another deep breath and fling open the door.

Andrea sits at a chrome desk in the corner. No surprise, everything here is chrome. She's just staring off into space, as always. But this time, I notice it's a little bit different. Her eyes aren't glazed over, but she just looks sad.

"I had a little sister, you know." The voice coming out of her is so surprising that I draw in closer.

"She was everything to me. We were all each other had. I was an orphan, just like you, Finch."

I'm shocked that she even knows my name, but that's nothing compared to the shock I have when I register what she says next.

"My parents were there one day, then gone the next." She gives a harsh laugh. "I'm sure you know what that's like, dearie. My parents loved me. I know that for a fact. My sister and I were their pride and joy. We were given ribbons and toys and little gifts that I'm sure my parents could never afford. But every night, my father would go off. My mother would pat us two little girls and tell us to go to sleep, and he would be there in the morning. And he always was. Except for one day."

I'm aware of my hand shaking. _Here one day, gone the next._

"One morning he wasn't there, and neither was my mother. The door was broken off its hinges and there was a broken picture of my father on the floor. Pieces of glass were everywhere. I was only 8 when it happened, but I remember that scene like it was yesterday. My sister and I were taken to an orphanage, likely the same one as you. 9 years later, I was reaped. She was only 11."

Andrea turns suddenly to me. "Finch, do you know anything about my Games?"

Of course I do. Every citizen in the district does. She killed more tributes in her Games than in any other. Ever. The only weapons they could that year were throwing knives. The big, bulky Careers who were only familiar with swords or clubs or weapons that didn't require as much precision were at a loss. But once Andrea got her hands on a knife, well, it was also the shortest Games in history.

Andrea gives another cold laugh. "Oh yes. I was a monster, wasn't I? I completely twisted their whole Games. No one from our district had ever won before. And not only that, but those sick people never got their show. I did it all quickly. There was hardly even an ending battle. Well, the president wasn't happy. As soon as I got home, well, no more sister." Andrea clenches her hand into a fist.

"I know now. My name was put into the bowl a lot more than it should have been because my father was a _rebel. _I wasn't supposed to come home, Finch. I was supposed to be killed. And now, you are too."

I sit down on the bed and draw a long breath. I don't want to believe all she has just said, but deep down inside, I know it's all true. Here one day, gone the next. Now that I think about it, did anyone even bother looking for my parents? Suddenly, Andrea throws something at me. Instinctively, I reach up and catch it. It's a little notepad with a pencil. Why?

Andrea answers my question right away. "I want you to write down everything you know about the other tributes. Strengths, weaknesses, allies or whatever else you can." She must see my look of utter confusion, because she clears her throat and continues. "I've let too many of these kids die, but Finch, you're different. I have to protect you. I was able to change the fate that was written out for me, now why shouldn't you? Just do as I say. So I do. My pencil flies across the page like I'm not even controlling it.

1. The boy has a good aim with spears. However, it's not as accurate as the other Careers are with their weapons. He's constantly trying to impress the others. I would say he's not winning potential.

1. The girl, Shimmer or something close to it, uses crossbows. Her aim is almost perfect. I've seen her pick up a regular bow. She's adequate, but nowhere near as good with that. She may be in love, or at least trying to create a sponsor trap, with Cato.

2. Cato is no doubt the strongest tribute here. I believe he's only 16 years old, though he could pass for much older. He's monstrous with a sword. However, he has one weakness. His partner. But they've been forced to keep it a secret because they know it would do no good to have two pairs of lovers.

2. Clove is as sadistic as they come. She's only 14, if my facts are right. She's so small though, she could pass for 12. Basically, the polar opposite of her partner. She's never missed with knives. I also think she has quite a lot of intelligence, though it may go unnoticed. Knives take patience and thought, so maybe she isn't as impulsive as the rest. She thinks things through. She has a special hatred for the pair from 12, especially the girl, as their fake relationship could cost her life, as she can't get sponsors for her actual love now. It's not blind hatred, but rather there is a reason behind it.

3. The boy spends his time with wires. I've seen him coax some sparks of electricity out of these wires while the careers were watching. He's extremely intelligent and I have reason to believe in a possible (forced?) alliance between him and the Careers.

3. The girl is shy, tending to hover around her partner. She often tries to copy what he's doing, and I've seen him giving her directions and trying to help her. She looks pale and sickly, and I can tell he pities her.

4. The boy is very young. He runs the obstacle course quickly, but can barely pick up a weapon, let alone handle one.

4. She tries to watch out for her young partner. I've seen her whispering words of encouragement to him and she tries to be strong for him. I can tell he's become dependable on her. No known strengths.

5. Atom tends to make rash decisions. He's tried things I even I know he couldn't excel at. He's desperate, but I think he knows that he hasn't got much time.

6. The boy spends his time at the medicinal plants station, but he and his partner tend to hover below the radar.

6. All I know is that she's very scared

7. Boy is adequate with an axe, but nothing else.

7. No known strengths, but from what I saw she isn't a very fast runner

8. He moves from station to station so that it's hard to tell what he excels at

8. Spends her time learning how to make fires, and at plant stations

9. Adequate with a scythe

9. Is weak at all the stations, and in a state of shock

10. He has a crippled foot. However, he's extremely determined. He hasn't yet picked up a weapon, but is incredible with snares and plant identification

10. Hovers around her partner

11. The oldest tribute. He is also the largest and is more than adequate with a scythe. Yesterday he turned down an offer to be with the Careers

11. Likely the smallest. Excellent climber and has great aim with a slingshot, though it's not a real weapon. Perfect in plant identification

12. Very strong, inside and out, though not particularly quick or agile. Has some kind of relationship with his partner, but whether it's real is unclear

12. Excels at plant identification and snares. Can be often seen conversing with her partner, but I've noticed is rather oblivious to the other tributes.

I set the pencil down. My arm aches slightly from all I've written. Andrea peers over my shoulder to look at my work.

"Hmmm….you're a bit more observant than the rest, aren't you Finch?" Her lips almost curl into a smile. I stare at the paper so hard the lines start to blur. When I look up, Andrea is staring into space. But it's different, I know. This time she's thinking about something. "I think I may have finally done something right." She whispers. Then she turns to me.

"You and I, Finch. We'll prove them wrong. We'll prove everyone wrong."


	6. Questions

_~Time can break your heart~_

One shadow shifts into another. The sun has risen. Strange, the feeling of waking up here is the same as back home. Almost. I finger the sheets on the bed. 5. That was the score I got. Just 5. No, people will never believe I can win. Even a score of 6, right in the middle, is enough to not get you completely overlooked. But maybe this is exactly what I need.

I don't want anyone to pay attention to me. At least not yet. I've decided that, of course, I want to be remembered. And no one who dies in the bloodbath gets remembered. The Careers will go straight for their enemies. _Thresh _I realize with a pang of unexpected sadness. He refused their direct offer to join their pack. And his score was nothing to be overlooked.

I know I deserved the score I received. I have no weapons training, after all. But I'm worried to step out of my room. I don't want to face Andrea. Last night I just went straight to my room after the scores were announced, but I can't avoid her much longer. And I don't want to see Atom's hopeless face, knowing he got a score of just 4. It hits me that I don't even know him. It's kind of depressing, knowing that he will die, and yet, have almost no effect on me.

I bring myself to swing my feet onto the floor. Footsteps outside alert me that the others are awake. I must have overslept. Today is the last day I can afford to do that. I quickly tuck my hair back into a bun and instinctively reach for training clothes, but they aren't there. There isn't any training today. Well, fine by me. I've always wanted to try on some of those clothes in the rack behind me.

There is a panel of buttons. The clothes are behind some kind of glass case. Unsure of what to do, I press the number 2 and hear a click as the rack spins. It comes to a stop and the door clicks open, revealing a peach colored top with ruffled sleeves. I wrinkle my nose. Definitely not what I would wear. I push another button, this time it lands on a plain green t-shirt. I slip it on over my head and push sets of buttons again for a long time. This rack has enough clothes to clothe the entire orphanage and then some! I almost wish Trisa could be here. She would love this.

I settle on a pair of comfortable gray pants and black running shoes. I can't remember ever owning a pair of real running shoes, or even seeing them. They're unbelievably expensive. But instantly, I understand why. It feels like walking on air. I open my door with a click and head out into the hallway, unsure of what I'll find at the end.

I'm instantly relieved that the scene seems almost normal. Aurelia is stirring her coffee and staring out the window that takes up one whole corner of the wall. Atom is swishing a roll around on his plate. Andrea is nowhere to be seen. I have barely enough time to grab an apple before the door bursts open. It's…my stylist? He rushes over and pours himself a cup of coffee, nodding to me as he passes. He rushes over to Aurelia, whispers a few words in her ear, the, as quickly as he came, he leaves.

Atom sits up in his char. "What was that?" He questions, his roll paused in midair.

Aurelia cheeks turn a deep shade of pink. "Oh, well, you know the stylists are supposed to dine with us, but both Antony and Talia are just so busy. They've just been dropping by now and then." She gives us both a forced-looking smile and a shrug of the shoulders. I turn to Atom and raise my eyebrows. Aurelia suddenly jolts up in her chair. "Oh, why don't I go check on your mentor? We've got to get you two ready for the big show tonight." She turns to give both of us another forced smile before running as best she can down the hall in 6 inch heels.

Atom gives a harsh laugh. "Well that was weird."

I nod. "Something is definitely going on that we're not supposed to know."

Atom suddenly looks very panicked. "Is something wrong?" He whispers.

I shrug. "Atom, we've been reaped for a fight to the death. What more could wrong?" I say as lightly as possible. Much to my relief, Aurelia comes back in practically dragging Andrea by her arm. Andrea slumps down in a chair across from us. Atom catches my eye and we both walk stiffly over towards the couch. Once we sit down, Andrea points to Atom wearily.

"All right, I'll take him over in my room to decide on some kind of angle with him. Aurelia, you take the girl and work on…"she pauses. "Well whatever it is you do." Atom gets up hesitantly and follows Andrea, who is sulking, out of the room. Aurelia sits back in her chair, looking stung by Andrea's words.

"I'll have her know that I'm quite a help to helpless kids like you, coming from that kind of environment and all…" She frowns. Well, as if I wasn't angry before about Andrea pretending to not care, now I am! But then I calm down and realize that Aurelia means well. She's just ignorant. So I pat her arm and whisper that we should get started. That seems to cheer her up.

Aurelia gets to work instantly, scribbling like mad in her little notepad. "All right, first let's work on your walk and then we move on to heels." I grown inwardly and wish desperately for more training time. That way I could practicing useful skills that will actually help me survive. For a while longer, anyway. But I don't want to hurt her feelings, so I suck it up and try to listen to her lecture on poise.

Finally, just as the shadows in the room have begun to shift, can I go into Andrea's room to find myself an angle. The door has already been left open by a depressed looking Atom. He looks tired, and angry. As he passes, he leans into my ear. "It's useless." He mutters. "She's just going to let us die." He brushes past me angrily. I look into the room hesitantly. But Andrea, to my shock, stands up and offers me a weary smile.

"Come in, Finch. We've got lots of work to get done in here." She says in a way I'm sure is meant to comfort. Her hair still looks wild and she's still wearing the same outfit that she's been wearing for as long as I can remember; the wrinkles still there. But there's something different in her face. Her eyes aren't glazed over anymore! Andrea tilts her head and the corners of her mouth lift up slightly. "Well, don't stand there staring. Good God, Finch, I swear you're the strangest one I've ever had. Come on and take a seat." She gestures to a chair. So I do.

It doesn't take long at all. We know I'm not chatty or giggly or flirty right off. I fail at being witty or a tear-jerker. So we go with the most obvious option. Mysterious. I'm elusive, avoiding the questions, but still giving answers. The whole time, though, one thing is certain. Andrea is determined. There is no way she will just do nothing and let me die.

Finally, Andrea breathes a sigh. "Well, we'd best get you into your things." But I stop her before she opens the door.

"Andrea, tell me the truth. Why is it you don't seem to care about what happens to Atom at all, but with me it's entirely different?"

She heaves another sigh. "I don't know if you'll ever understand this, but sometimes it's easier to distance yourself from people you know you're going to lose."

"But why not me, then? I'm not even going to pick up a weapon! I won't last a night!" I shout. I know this isn't me plan at all, except for the weapons part. But I'm so angry right now. And so confused.

"Finch, please. You're different. And you don't have to win. You just have to survive long enough." She suddenly trails off, then snaps back to attention.

"What was that?" I scream. "What do you mean long enough?" My voice rises even higher. "Long enough for _what?_"

Andrea's voice shakes, but remains calm. "You don't understand, but you will soon, if everything goes as planned." She practically whispers the last part. "Just trust me on this. And remember, I'm someone you can always trust." With that, she drags me out of the room.

I stare at the dress on me. It's so light. I feel so uncomfortable having nothing covering my neck like this, though. But it's the prettiest shade of blue. It has ruffles on the bottom and shines and shimmers with the light, catching all the beams. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

All the time I've seen the tributes on television wearing things like this, but we have none of this kind of beauty at home. Antony, who I've finally placed as the name of my stylist, grins. "I know the girls will be wearing dresses down to their ankles, but I wanted to capture the fact that you're innocent, all of you. Even those who aren't the youngest tributes."

I smile softly. "It's perfect." As my stylist busies himself with my hair, I think of Andrea. She just wants me to stay alive long enough to be remembered. That's what she meant, right? What else could it mean? Antony pulls a single strand of hair back into place. "All right, you're ready. Here, take my arm." he offers one out, covered in his navy blue suit with glitter specks that I know is supposed to be the night sky.

I grab it. It's steady. "Listen to what your mentor said." Antony whispers into my ear. "I just want to say that sometimes she is not quite who she lets on to be." Yes, I've seen that. "We need you." The whisper is so quick and so soft that I almost miss it. We walk like this to the elevator, where we meet up with Atom and his stylist. It's a silent ride.

I nod a silent goodbye to Antony as Atom rushes to the doors. I know that, over there, is the hallway where we wait to get called up. But I walk slowly. Just be remembered for something. Just try to make some kind of impression.

The hallway is crowded. It's strange that I feel so claustrophobic here, yet no one is making a sound. Maybe it's all the nervous energy. I see tears rolling down the boy from 4's face. As my own stomach coils, I think about Antony. He needs me? Why? Is _everyone _keeping a secret from me?

The first girl goes on. She's flirty gorgeous, and all out sexy. I see Clove rolling her eyes. Exactly what I was thinking. The idiot partner is next. He's trying to be funny, but yet not really trying at all. I have to admit, he's making himself rather likeable. Still, it's forced. And just strange. I see confusion register on some other's faces. Yes, we have to make ourselves liked, but humor? In no way is that ideal.

Clove walks on. And she's stunning. Her dress is coral pink and all ruffles and bows. It gives her face a sort of glow to it. As soon as the first question hits her, it's obvious what her mentor tried to make her do. She's sweet as cotton candy. But I have to give her mentor some credit. The effect is chilling. Here we have a girl who got a score of 10, and we all know how, practically gushing about how pretty her dress is. Caesar looks momentarily taken aback, but the last question comes quickly.

"So, Clove, how do you think you compare to the other tributes here tonight?"

She perks up in her seat and offers him a small smile. "Oh, Caesar. You know, I could kill them all with nothing but a butter knife." She chirps sweetly. Then, she rolls her eyes like I saw her do not ten minutes ago. "Let's just hope, for their sake, it never comes to that." Then she's up, smiling and waving. There's even a curtsy thrown in. A sound of disgust comes from behind me. I think it was the boy from 10 with the crippled foot. I just swallow hard.

Her partner is, in my opinion, less memorable. Maybe it's the fact that his partner managed to get the same score as him, even though she can't be more than 14, and at least 70 pounds lighter. Or the fact that it's a typical Career. He's ruthless. He's calm and collected. Just a perfect Victor. Still, it's disturbing. What these kids have become is disgusting.

I don't remember much about the girl from 3. She was very quiet. Her partner equally so. I can tell he was smart, though. But within a moment I feel a tug on my arm and I'm being led backstage. I clutch the hand of the woman in front of me. It's strange, I know. Maybe I just needed something to hold onto.

The lights almost blind me. I feel a small push on my back and I step up the first step. Now the second. Breathe. I go up the rest of the steps and sit down. The audience cheers, but I can barely hear it. Having those people right here seem unimaginable. Always, Capital citizens were on a screen. I guess I never even considered them as real-life, I guess. They were a world apart. Almost like characters. But they're right here. And now I'm talking to one of them.

"So, Finch, I really do love your dress." his first sentence has almost an oily quality to it. I've never liked Caesar.

"Thank you." I say curtly. Good. I'm doing my job. I didn't gush over how pretty it was. I didn't giggle or even return the compliment. No, I've clearly said that I want this over with.

"I'm sorry for being so direct here, but you know, intruding on all of you're personal lives is rot of my job." Caesar smiles sheepishly. The audience laughs loudly. "Why do you think you got the score you got?"

I breathe. "Well, Caesar, it may have been the score I got, but who knows. Maybe it wasn't the score I deserved." I try to sound light about it. In reality, there's nothing mysterious about it. That was the score I deserved. But you know what? No one else has to know.

Caesar gives his eyebrows an exaggerated raise. "Are you saying that you might have been underestimated?"

"Well, the tributes all know that the worst thing we can do is underestimate someone. I just want to tell them that people aren't always who they seem."

Caesar lets out a low whistle. "And what will your strategy for these Games be?"

"I can't tell you that. But I can tell you that I just apply myself to the situation at hand and I do what I have to do. Whatever it takes."

And with that, the buzzer rings.


	7. Run

_~Time can bend your knees, have you begging, begging please~_

A soft alarm's beeping fills the room. I jolt up, shaking. I couldn't sleep last night. I may never again. But adrenaline courses through me and for some reason, I feel more awake than ever. Fear does that to you.

I don't know why, but I feel my feet walking towards the shower. I peel my nightgown off and stare at the strange machine. In a few minutes, the shower is running with me inside, covered in rose scented lotion. I still have no idea how to work the shower, so bursts of ice cold water come out every now and then. But I don't care. It wakes me up. Steam rises. I feel my wet hair sticking to my back. The rose scent is almost overpowering. Water rushes. And as it rushes, I hear one word being repeated in the water over and over again.

Maybe

Maybe

Maybe. I quickly shut the water off and throw some clothes on. It doesn't matter that they're the same ones as yesterday because Antony is just going to give me some clothes everyone in the arena has to wear. I stare at my hair, hanging wet and limp down my back. Surely no one will care what I do with it? I run a brush through it, figuring Antony will do what he has to do. As long as it's out of my way. I'll need to see everything possible.

As soon as I step out of my room, Aurelia rushes me out. She bursts out a flurry of words I can barely understand.

"Come on, Finch. You're already late. They'll give you some breakfast on the hovercraft ride over."

She drags me through the hallway and into an elevator. "Atom and Andrea are already down there." She whispers to me once we're inside. She turns to look me over and sighs. "Antony will fix you up once you arrive." The rest of the ride is silent. Until the doors open. I feel a hand on my shoulder and I quickly snap my head around. It's just Aurelia. "You're a clever girl, Finch. After your interview, the rest of the country knows as well as I do now. I trust that you'll follow your strategy. And maybe I'll see you some time soon." She gives a soft smile. And unlike all those others, it doesn't seem forced at all.

As my footsteps echo along the metallic hall towards the hovercraft, the word echoes too.

Maybe.

I'm greeted by a burst of cold air and a roaring sound. The hovercraft on the roof towers above anything else. I spot cameramen lined up all along the edges. The tiny form of Andrea is leading Atom into the craft. I rush to join them. But the whole time, I'm conscious of those cameras. The little eyes everywhere. I don't make eye contact with any of them. The propeller's roaring sound is so loud I have to cover my ears as I walk up the ramp into it. But I stop and turn to Andrea anyway. Her eyes flick backwards towards a camera and then she gives me a small nod. That's all. But it's enough.

My eyes have to adjust to the sudden darkness. Then I realize that all the tributes are sitting down in seats staring at me blinking. "Are you the last one?" A woman wearing all white asks. I nod stiffly. She gestures to the last seat, right next to Thresh. No sooner am I in the chair when the craft lifts off. It's the strangest feeling. I grip onto the sides of my seat. As I look around wildly, I notice a few of the others are closing their eyes. The woman in the white, though, is standing right next to me as if nothing unique is going on. In fact, she looks bored. My stomach knots itself in sickness. Doesn't she know she's escorting children to their death?

As soon as the craft stops shaking, I hear a sigh of relief coming from the girl across from me. She's the girl with the wild, curly hair. From 8, I think. As she loosens her grip on the seat, I see her face turning red. She stares at her feet the rest of the time. The woman in white is walking towards me. "Arm." She says, in a clipped, formal voice.

I thrust it out and she pulls out a needle. This wasn't at all what I expected, and my first instinct is to yank my arm away. No one ever said anything about needles. But I know it's just the tracker. I always knew the tributes must have some sort of tracking devices, but I thought they would be in the form of hidden collars or bracelets. I never imagined the chips would actually be _inside _them. I draw my breath in sharply as the needle meets my skin, and suddenly I see a small silver square pulsing with light inside my arm. Well, it won't be coming out.

After everyone's arm has a small square of silver inside it, the seatbelts crossing over our bodies click open and steaming bowls of some kind of porridge are brought out. Everyone eats hungrily. I just stare at my bowl. My stomach is so knotted. But when will I see food again? And how will I get it? So I force myself to take a few bites before the woman collects the bowls and the seatbelts snap shut again. The hovercraft begins its descent down. My stomach goes with it.

Thresh is next to me, staring straight ahead. But suddenly, I feel his finger lightly touching mine. I look back at him. Still staring straight ahead. But I touch his back. No one else sees. It's just the two of us. And I don't know why we're doing this. Maybe he needs someone to hold onto too.

The craft shudders to a stop. One by one, the tributes get up and head out on the ramp. No one speaks, but as Thresh goes out, he turns to look at me. He mouths something, but I can't see what it is. It looks like _Find me _but I can't tell. Confused, I go down the ramp. We're in a huge room, with dozens of hallways leading out in different directions. A nervous looking man dressed in all white, just like the others, pulls me towards the hallway marked "5". Atom is turning into a door marked "5M," so I head into the one marked "5F." Antony is waiting for me.

Next to him is a pile of clothes. He holds them out to me. "Go ahead and put these on and I'll what I can do about your hair. We can try to see what kind of arena we'll have this year. You can usually tell by the clothes." I accept the clothes and duck behind a curtain. As I pull on the clothes, I hear my heart beating. The room is so silent, and it is so loud and so fast. And then it really hits me. I'm afraid. Really, truly, afraid. I can't deny it anymore. I step out from behind the curtain.

Antony motions for me to sit in the chair in front of him. He immediately takes my hair and puts it up into two buns. "I know it's a little different then what you expected, but every tribute's hairstyle should be different, so you can tell who they are." He pauses. "Though I think with hair as pretty as yours it would be easy to tell." He means the red-gold color of it. At home, there are a large amount of people running around with copper-colored hair, but I know here it will just make me easier to spot. As he does my hair, Antony looks over my outfit.

"All right." He sighs. I realize that he sounds sad, slow even. "You've got army pants, some kind of combat boots, a tight fitting black t-shirt and a navy blue jacket. Let's see. There'll be a difference in temperature between night and day, I'm betting on hot days and cold nights. The terrain isn't too rough, but it's definitely not what you'll be used to." He finishes. I reach up to touch my hair.

"60, 59, 58" The voice makes me jump. It has an oddly computer-like sound. The count-down. My heart skips a beat and my hands begin to shake. Suddenly, Antony pulls something out of his pocket.

"You're district token." He whispers. That's strange. I can't remember ever having one.

"We did some digging around and found it for you. I'm told that a girl named Trisa was adamant about you receiving it, so we made it work." It's a little bracket, made out of woven strand of string with a lavender bead on the front. My favorite color. Trisa made one for me when she couldn't have been more than 8 and she gave Cable one too. His bead is red. Hers is yellow. I slip it on. But I don't have time to thank Antony for what he did.

"Go to the tube!"Antony lightly gives me a push towards it. I step inside the metal cylinder and hear a click as the door slides shut. The ground beneath my feet suddenly lifts up. I'm suddenly aware of the bracelet I'm holding and quickly manage to strap it onto my arm. And then, I'm in the sunlight.

There is no more voice counting down. I look around wildly. How will I know when to run? But then I see the screen. It's built into some kind of structure, littered with an assortment of weapons. It flashes numbers.

15

14

13

I glance to my left. The boy from 1 is right next to me. Two platforms down, the girl from 12 who managed to get the highest score is standing. Lover Girl, I think everyone's calling her now. No, I can't run that way. But next to me on the other side is an assortment of tributes, all with low scores like mine. Where are the rest of The Careers? I spot what could be them off in the distance, on the other side of the field.

A single ring sounds throughout the arena.

My feet leap off the platform. But not in the same way as everyone else. I turned around. I only see the line of trees in front of me. Trees. Of which we have none of at home. My lungs burn as I sprint. I'm suddenly conscious of someone running beside me. A head of wild hair. The District 8 girl. But she swoops down to grab something. A box of matches. I don't look back. _Worry about necessities later. Just run._

The ground beneath me becomes looser. I've made it to the trees. I'm no longer running in a field, but in a forest. I nearly lose my footing, but I catch myself just in time. And then I stop. The District 8 girl knows which direction I'm headed in. What if she manages to get a hold of a knife too? She could easily track me down. I slowly take a few steps back, and then quickly veer to the left. And then my head explodes in pain.

The impact throws me to the ground. Once I catch my breath, my first instinct is to snap up. I'm face to face with Lover Girl. Or Fire Girl. Or…Kat-something. She lowers her eyes instantly. _A weapon of course. She's checking for a weapon. _Then I see the knife in her hand. It's stained with blood. Fear courses inside me. I scramble back. But Fire Girl just sits there, paralyzed. Pulling myself up instantly, I sprint away. My feet pound over and over again. _She killed someone. She just killed someone. But it wasn't me._

After running for so long, I begin to lose track of time. My lungs burn and there is a sharp pain in my left side. My head still aches dully. Slowing down to a jog, I pause to look around. It's so unbelievably silent. I thought I would hear people running, screaming, maybe even crying or something. But all I hear is the rush of water. There isn't even the slightest breeze. It slowly dawns on me that I'm trapped.

I want to move near the water. My tongue is dry and sweat pools along my back. But other tributes might have the same idea. The Career pack likely won't. There was a small lake right where we started. They won't waste their time trying to escape other tributes. They can just stay put. At least for now. They're probably still working off those tributes that are still at the Bloodbath. Or the ones that just barely got away and they know where to locate. Well, I can't go without water forever. So I take a deep breath and walk towards the water.

As it turns out, the sound is coming from a stream. There is no one in sight. Still, I sprint over, cup my hands into a bowl, and practically shove it into my mouth. A few more handfuls and I sprint back. I have to sit down on one of the rocks nearby and clutch my stomach. Why did I have to drink that water so fast? Why did I sprint right after drinking so much? But then a thought comes to me. It's kind of like how Trisa still runs, then takes a leap into bed each night. When I asked her why she did it, she just smiled sheepishly and said that she'd stopped believing in monsters long ago, but it was just a habit and it made her feel safe. I smile a little.

Getting up from the rock, I realize that I have to find shelter. I need somewhere to hide. And food. How will I get food? I stare around the rocks here. Maybe it won't be so hard. Getting on my hands and knees, I crawl between the rocks. And sure enough, I find what I'm looking for. Behind a large boulder, there is a den. It's made of three rocks, one forming the back and the other two forming walls at the die. If I curl up, I can fit inside. After checking for snakes first, of course. And the big boulder in front partially covers me as well. It looks like I'll be safe tonight.

Food is the next thing on my mind. I peel off my jacket. It is hot here. I move back towards the banks of the stream. There might be some reeds that are edible. But then it hits me. What if the water is poisoned? Did I just drink all that water without even thinking of that? But this stream goes on as far as I can see. And it can't just end anywhere. It will end at the lake. And that would mean all the visible water sources are poisoned. _Be rational, Finch. What kind of show would that make? All of us would drop like flies in a matter of hours._ The water is safe. I just know it.

As luck would have it, I spot some green shoots growing out of the water. I wade in, and pull some up. After inspecting it for a little, I decide it's Katniss. That's right. The computer said you can tell by the arrow shaped leaves. I take a bight of a tuber. It's not bad at all. In fact, after a life spent away from greens in general, it's actually delicious. I savor every bite. Then it hits me. That's her name! Katniss. Huh. It's pretty. Well, Katniss, you and I have made it this long. And for some strange reason, even though it would have been so easy, you didn't even try to kill me.


	8. Rid

_~Would you hold my hand, if I saw you in heaven?~_

The shadows in the arena are slowly shifting and it has suddenly grown colder. I shrug back into my jacket, and then decide to curl up in my little den. Suddenly, it grows completely dark. Here, in my little hole that smells like wet leaves, my knees brought up to my chest, I have never felt more alone.

I hug the arms of my jacket. _I've gotten though the first day. Now I just have to make it through the night. _To pass the long hours, I find my mind turning to those I've left behind. I remember that day, a few years ago. Cable and I were walking to school together.

_The sky was gray, like always. Smoke drifted off from a distant factory. Massive structures that none of us really knew what they were, but were responsible for giving the Capital power loomed by the horizon. The sounds of our district waking up were heard. Power plant workers, in their white suits, filled the streets. Wives and children waved after them. Clothes were hung outside tiny, cramped apartments with peeling paint to dry, the only color coming from the patches they were covered in._

_Cable reached out his hand and pulled me away from a murky brown puddle, coming from the end of a pipe. I giggled. It was just like me to be lost in thought. I don't know why I asked him what I did. Maybe it was because I saw a woman waving at her small daughter headed for school, or maybe it was because a boy shouted for his father to "stay safe at the plant." But I turned to him, hands shoved in my coat pocket with a hole in it. "Cable, do you ever feel really alone?"_

_He turned to me suddenly. The lopsided grin he wore quickly vanished. "Yeah, sometimes. I guess that happens to all of us." Then his grin retuned and he tugged my sleeve."But we aren't alone, cause we've got each other."_

"_And Trisa," I added._

"_Yeah, the little brat too. We're practically a whole family just by ourselves! We're fine, Finch. We don't need anyone else. As long as we've got each together, we're never really alone."_

The anthem suddenly interrupts my memory. It's so loud I jump out of the rocks. I make sure to stay where I can't be seen, and watch the faces in the sky. The first is the district 3 girl. Then, the small boy from 4. I feel unexpectedly sad. His partner is still alive, but I know how she hovered near him. She'll have to live with that guilt. Another pang of sadness comes when I see Atom's face. Why didn't I just make an alliance with him? I could have saved him. _Don't be irrational. He couldn't be saved. His death would only occur a little later. _I just hope it wasn't slow. No one deserves that.

Both from 8 are dead, and so are both from 7. It must be horrible for those mentors. The boy from 8 is dead. The girl with the wild hair, whose name suddenly registers as Lacey, must have survived the Bloodbath. Both from 9 are gone, and the girl from 10. That's it. The anthem fades into the dark. So the boy from 10 with the crippled foot, David, is still alive. I learned his name during his interview. How did he manage to run away? So there's Marvel, Glimmer, Cato, Clove, the District 3 boy, the district 4 girl whose name I can't remember either, Lacey, David, Thresh, Rue, Peeta and Katniss left.

That's when I see them. The sky is full of stars. I've never, ever seen stars before, just in books. It's so beautiful. They look so close. And there are just so many of them. Tiny little lights, pale silver against the darkness. I stare at them for such a long time. They aren't real. How could they be? Who knows? It might not even be nighttime. But I found beauty. Way off there in the trees, a trail of smoke floats upwards. Someone lit a fire. It is cold outside. The stars don't offer warmth, but instead blink coldly. I lean against the rock and hug my knees to my chest. And then, the night is cut by a piercing scream, way off in the distance.

My first thought is _it isn't near here. _A canon booms, loud and sharp. So the Careers have been hunting. Lacey's picture illuminates the sky. The matches! That must have been her who lit the fire. Oh, Lacey. Why would go and do something like that? Now you can't go back to your family. Did you have a family? What were they like? I crawl back into the den. The stars are no longer any comfort. They aren't even real.

I don't know how, but I manage to sleep. When I wake up, the arena is already full of light. I slowly get out of the den and stand up. Every part of me aches, but at least I slept. And I'm still alive. But what now? Do I keep moving? Should I just stay alone? Then I remember yesterday. What did Thresh say, as we were leaving the hovercraft? He said _Find me. _I'm sure of it. But how? Maybe if I just keep walking in the same direction….But am I really that desperate? I need protection. And something tells me Thresh can offer me that.

I can't make my mind up on how to get there. Do I stick to the stream where it's open and hard for someone to jump me? Or do I go through the forest again, where I might have time to hide? I hesitantly decide on the trees. I've never liked open spaces. And the Careers will be by the lake. They've probably got a huge supply there that they wouldn't stray too far from, right? But what about Katniss and the others? Where are they?

It's darker here under the leaves. Sunlight comes down in little circles on the dirt floor. Why is it so quiet? These woods are full of us, but yet I can't hear a sound. What did I expect? They're probably all hiding out alone. They won't have anyone to talk to, just like me. A stick snaps under me. Alarmed, I jump backwards. Still, not a sound. I step around the stick and continue.

"I heard that, you know." The voice is hardly more than a whisper, but it still sends me reeling in fright. A boy leaning heavily on a stick hobbles out. David. The crippled boy from 10. He stares at me for a few seconds, before I can make the connection.

"I don't have a weapon, if that's what you're wondering." My voice is shaking.

To my shock, he smiles. "So you can speak!" He laughs. "I mean, of course you can…your interview and all. But I've never heard you talk before!" He shuffles nervously. "I don't have any either. Weapons, I mean. Just this stick. I can't bring myself to kill a kid. It's sick."

I sit up. "I'm not going to kill either."

His face turns serious. "Prove it."

I stand up and take off my jacket. I give it a few good shakes, for good measure. All of my pockets are emptied and I show him both hands. All the while, I'm still shaking. Why am I doing this? I have to find Thresh. Should I just run and try to get away. It's not like he can chase me, right? But I'm still here for some reason, emptying my pockets for some boy who I can't trust.

He sighs. "All right, I guess that's good enough. The girl from 2 can hide knives in her ponytail, you know. I saw her." He shrugs. "But I guess I trust you." He shifts his head around, then gestures for me to follow.

"Come with me."

I shake my head and try to back away. Why should I? I have one goal right now, and it doesn't involve playing friends with some guy I've never spoken to. But then a thought hits me. What does he know that I don't? Obviously, with a limp as prominent as his, he would've spent a little more time at the Bloodbath. Maybe he saw what direction Thresh went. Or the others. So I hesitantly follow him through the trees.

We duck under several branches until we end up in a small clearing. One of the trees has roots sticking out of the ground, forming a little hollow. It's a little den, just like mine. A tiny spring bubbles in an area no larger than my hand. Leaves have been cleared away in the middle and a pile of plants lies there, on top of a log.

"It's quite a find, huh?" David gestures towards the plants. "All of them are edible. The Gamemakers have been pretty generous about that."

I clasp my fingers together. "Look, David, I need some information."

He frowns. "What've you got?"

I reach into my coat and pull out some katniss tubers. He inspects them quickly before throwing them into the pile. "Not bad." He nods. "What do you need?"

"Did you see where Thresh, the boy from 11 went after the Bloodbath?"

David's shaggy hair flops into his eyes as he nods. "Yeah, he headed towards this field of tall grasses. District 11 being agriculture and all, I guess it makes sense that he went there. But you'll have to cross through Career territory. I'm pretty sure they're staked out near the lake."

I turn around to go. Then I hesitate and look back. David stands, leaning on his stick. "Thanks David." I tell him.

He just shrugs. "It was no problem." Then, as I've turned around, he stops me again.

"Hey, Finch. You're really not going to kill anyone?"

I pause. "Really."

David smiles a little. "So there is hope after all."

I give him a small wave back. Slowly, he disappears into the trees. That's the last I see of the boy who refused to kill.

The air grows hotter as I walk and eventually I shrug off my coat. I feel myself starting to grow thirsty again. Maybe Thresh has a supply of water. David said I was going to pass the Career's camp. No doubt they've got water. I've stolen before. Many, many times. How hard can it be?

I keep walking forward. So I know where David. He's not far from my den, by the stream. The Careers are by the lake, and Thresh is in the field. Which just leaves the District 3 boy, the District 4 girl, Rue, Peeta and Katniss. No doubt about it Rue is up in the trees somewhere. She's the least of my worries. As for the rest of them, well, something tells me I'll find out soon enough. How big can this thing be?

And then I see it. It's a huge pile of supplies, right next to the glittering lake. The District 4 girl sits there, playing absentmindedly with a spear. Next to her are two tents, big enough for three people each. I move behind a tree and crouch down. Look at all those supplies. Water bottles, boxes of food, cans of food, and there! A bag of apples! My stomach rumbles at the thought of sinking my teeth into one of those. A chorus of shouts suddenly fills the air.

"Can you believe it, we've been looking all day and we still haven't found one!"

"Where are the damn kids hiding?"

"Relax Cato, we've got all the weapons right here. Except for Fire girl, who idiot Clove over here let get away with a knife."

"Hey Glimmer! Thresh was supposed to be yours, but you seem to have conveniently forgotten that he got away with a scythe."

"Oh man, if we have to go through a whole day with no one dead, those Gamemakers aren't gonna be too happy."

The last voice sounds different. Of course. It's not a Career. It's Peeta, the boy from 12. But where's Katniss? I look around again. No, she's definitely not around. Something tells me she won't be happy when she finds out Peeta ditched her, for Careers no less. So the Careers have let in Peeta and the District 4 girl. They must be feeling very generous. _Or desperate._ But what could they possibly need. Then, it dawns on me. Peeta is live bait.

"Hey, Bree, we need your help looking for others. Maybe if we split up or something, the more the better."

This is my chance! Bree, the District 4 girl, leaps up. But then she fingers her spear.

"What about the supplies?"

Cato rolls his eyes. "Come on, we're not even remotely near the others. They're hiding as far from us as possible, and that's where they'll stay." _Oh, Cato you're wrong._ "Let's split up!" He shouts. "Peeta and Marvel, you two head out."

"Peeta? No way, he's useless. Come on, can't I get Glimmer?" Marvel whines playfully. But Cato practically shoves him away.

Glimmer laughs at Marvel. "Don't be an idiot, I'm going with Cato."

But this time it's her turn to get laughed at. "Glimmer, go with Bree. She's got some brains, who knows? Maybe she'll balance out your stupidity." Cato rests a hand on Clove's bony shoulder. "I'm taking Clove. At least this way I know I'm not with someone so clueless I'll end up killed." Glimmer gives Clove a look of disgust, which Clove eagerly returns. After rolling her eyes at Bree, the two set off into the trees.

Now it's just me and the supplies. I slowly stand up. Then, before I can think twice, I dart out from between the tress and sprint across the field. I pause when I'm at the supplies pile to stick my hand into the bag of apples and pull out two. With the apples in my hands, I sprint back.

Too easy. I stuff one of them into my coat pocket. The other one I sit down and eat hungrily. I can't believe it was just two days ago when I last had one of these. Now I'm a world apart.

After finishing off the apple, I continue to the field. I can see the grasses waving. Just my luck, the Careers have gone in the opposite direction. But once I reach the grasses, I hesitate. What will I find? The grasses are all as tall as me. I won't be able to see someone coming. What kind of grass grows this tall anyway? And what if I can't trust Thresh? But I head in anyway. I know I can trust him. I just know it.

My foot hits something hard and I can't help but let out a sound of pain. I look down to see what I hit. Thresh's boot. He was asleep, but he jolts up with a start, scythe in hand. Adrenaline races towards me as I prepare to make a hasty exit, but once he sees it's me he places it down. "What're you doing here?" He asks in a gruff voice.

"I-I thought you said to come find you, so I did." I stammer. But to my surprise, his face clears up. I even see a small smile play on the corners of his lips.

"Yeah, I did say that. I just never thought you'd be able to. How'd you get passed the Careers?" He asks, shifting his weight so he's sitting up and facing me.

"You know, there really aren't as terrifying as everyone makes them out to be. And I managed to get this too." I toss him the apple. He catches it, this time a genuine smile lights up his face.

"Thanks! The grass here is edible, but it's not that appealing. Can't say I'm not used to that though…"his voice trails off. But then I see him pointing to the sky. A red-orange haze lights up the far end of the arena.

"Fire!" I whisper to him. But to my surprise, he doesn't seem worried at all.

"It's not coming towards us. But the Gamemakers don't want a certain someone alive. And I'll bet you anything I know who it is."


	9. Adrenaline

_~Would it be the same, if I saw you in heaven?~_

"Who? Who is the person they're trying to get rid of?" I whisper. The fire lights up the arena. Still, it's nowhere near us.

"Katniss is the one, I'm sure of it. She's a rebellion waiting to happen."

I'm at a loss for words. "_What?!" _I finally splutter.

Thresh sighs. "Look, it's actually pretty simple. Her sister got picked originally, so she's already mad at the Capital for sending in little kids. I know, she was saved. But Katniss is going to realize that there are kids here who weren't so lucky. Take Rue, for example. Or that little girl from 7. It's really enough to make anyone mad, but her especially because, even if just for a split second, she was affected by it. Add that to the fact that she and her partner have some kind of relationship and they know one of them will die, and you've got a spark."

I frown. "I don't really get it Thresh. It's one thing to be angry, but it's another to use that anger and start a whole rebellion. I mean, just say she did win. How would she do it? You don't just overthrow the Capital with absolutely nothing and no one to follow you!"

He shakes his head at me, like I'm some little kid. "It's easy enough, when you come from 12. They're dirt poor and starving, just like us. But the difference is that their security is a lot less tight, from what I've heard. There are probably dozens of underground rebels no one knows about. All it would take is for some leader of that group to put a weapon in her hand and then sure enough, everything else will just follow. All the rest of us just need a little incentive."

What is he doing? "Thresh, there are cameras." I whisper through clenched teeth. Does he want to get us both killed?

To my shock, he laughs. "They aren't getting this. I can tell you that much. Nobody wants to see another alliance, let alone from two unexciting tributes from obscure districts."

I shake my head, letting hair fall in my face. After so much time here, the two neat buns have fallen apart. I turn to Thresh.

"Look, I know it's strange, but do you mind if I put my hair back?"

He looks at me strangely for a moment, and then shrugs. "Okay…umm, sure I guess. It's actually really boring here isn't it? I mean, we're just sitting here waiting for someone to attack us. I mean, if Cato doesn't kill us, boredom might."

I laugh a little bit. He smiles as I pull my hair back into the two buns. There. Something I can control. At least one part of my life isn't complete chaos. A thought suddenly hits me.

"Hey, why are they getting rid of her so soon? I mean, first of all, a fire seems obvious, right? Why not just wait until the final six or something and lead whatever Careers are left to her somehow and make it look like nothing was planned? It's not like she wouldn't be able to get away from them or anything."

Thresh clears his throat. "Well, that's a little more complicated. They can't let her last that long. Then, people will start to get close to her. People really start picking which tributes they want to win around the final six or seven, right?"

There's a pause. I know he's waiting for me to answer. It's true. I used to pick favorites too. Usually I picked the underdogs, but once four years ago, Cable and I even bet. Granted, it was just Loser does Dishes for the Winner. But it was wrong. I won. I picked the monstrous boy from 1. Now that I'm thinking about that bet, I have to fight back tears for just a moment. "Yeah, I know what you mean." I finally say.

"So these Capital citizens will grow close to her. They'll love the idea of lovers in the arena. But lovers or not, hardly anyone who dies before the final seven is remembered."

I look around. My eyes widen. "Thresh, the fire is gone. It's just…gone. As if it was never here."

He looks around, even giving the air a few sniffs. "It still smells a little like smoke, but not like before. That's strange."

I shrug. "I guess the Gamemakers got what they wanted."

He tilts his head to the side. "Then why didn't we hear a cannon?"

We sit in total silence for what seems like a long time. It does seem completely strange. _  
The Careers are still out there. Was the fire affecting them? Where would they have run? Are they near…?_ "That's it!" I suddenly jump.

"What? You know why the fire's gone?" He questions.

"It was a trap of sorts. See, no one was supposed to die. Katniss was just supposed to escape the fire, and then run right into the Careers."

"The Gamemakers probably thought it would make a great show." Thresh spits out in disgust.

I nod quickly. It's the truth. My grumbling stomach interrupts the momentary stillness. I look up at the sky. Well, what I assume is the sky anyway. The light is growing dim. And the temperature is dropping. "I think first thing tomorrow I'll run back to the Career supplies and get us some food."

Thresh nods. "Do what you have to do, but just be careful for me, okay?"

I'm taken aback by this. "I promise." I whisper. He smiles. He really does have a warm smile. It's getting very cold very fast. I stuff my hands into my jacket. Thresh does the same. His teeth are chattering.

"I'm just not used to this kind of cold." He whispers through clenched teeth.

"Come on, this is nothing compared to my district. We had piles of snow in the winter. But in a few hours it just turns to gray. It's the kind of cold that makes you feel like winter will never be over. You start aching and then just going numb. It's terrible."

Thresh shakes his head in wonder. "I've never even seen snow. It's so warm in 11; the nights are always humid and buggy."

I notice that the sky has completely darkened. I curl up on the ground, which has already become cold and wish desperately for a blanket. "Cover your head with your hood." I tell Thresh. "You lose heat most quickly from there." I feel him shifting as he does this. Above us, the stars are twinkling again. Tiny, silver and cold orbs suspended in deep blue. "The stars are so beautiful." I whisper.

Thresh gives a harsh laugh. "These aren't even real. The sky is full of stars in 11, but they look nothing like this. I can't explain it. But it's definitely not the same."

I sigh. "I wouldn't know. We don't have stars in District 5."

He suddenly turns to me. "Hey, Finch, promise me that if you get out of this, you'll go look at some real stars. A whole sky full of them. I'm sure you can really only find that in District 11."

I smile, even though there are tears in my eyes now. "I promise." And then the anthem comes on, loud and sharp.

"There were no deaths today." Thresh's voice has a depressed tome.

"Get ready for tomorrow." That's the last thing I remember saying before I fall asleep.

The next thing I feel is someone grabbing my arm. The fingers are gripping into my skin. Fear courses through me. I shoot up I whip my head around wildly. But the only sound is the wind whistling through the grass. Thresh sits behind me, a look of relief across his face. "Thresh, what was that?" I whisper through clenched teeth.

"I-I'm sorry." He stutters. "I just heard a cannon boom and I thought it was you. I know that was stupid of me but here…" He puts his head in his hands.

I know what he means, though. Here, you can never be sure of anything. I wonder, if I had woken up to that cannon boom and seen Thresh lying in the ground, would I have been as scared? I would. I know I would. The truth is I need Thresh.

"I know." I say to him. "But I'm still here, so you're still stuck with me." He smiles a little. "I wonder who it was though." I say softly.

The air is suddenly pierced with shouts. Thresh and I duck down as quickly as we can. The Careers burst out of the trees, sprinting and moving their arms wildly. I turn to look at Thresh, who looks just as confused as I feel. All of them sprint towards the lake and jump in. I shake my head. What? Slowly, their head resurface. But I notice that there are only three of them, Clove, Cato and Marvel. Glimmer, Bree and Peeta are nowhere in sight. Marvel gets out of the lake, swaying slightly as he walks. Even from this distance, I can see strange lumps on his cheeks and neck. I point at them to Thresh. "What do you think those are?"

He shrugs. "Your guess is as good as mine."

Marvel stumbles into a tent and closes the flap. Cato is out of the lake and following him, with clove on his heels. They all look to be in bad shape, but Clove seems to have gotten the worst of it. She can barely walk at all. As soon as he sees Marvel enter his tent, Cato looks around quickly, and then picks Clove up. I can feel Thresh shift is surprise next to me. Cato looks so unbelievably strange right now, carrying her in that tender way. I raise my eyebrows. Well, there's no denying it now. I don't why I do, but in that moment I feel a pang of pity for that monster. He seems to have a little humanity left after all. They both go into a tent and Cato shuts the flap quickly. Clove looks suddenly very small and he looks very worried.

Thresh blinks a few times. "Well, that was really strange." HE sighs, which surprises me. "What's with the pair from 2?"

I shake my head like I have no idea. "I don't know. Cato just probably figures he needs her alive still. You know, what with so many of us left, he doesn't want to have to face Fire Girl alone."

Another cannon booms. It causes Thresh and me to both jump up. "Do you think it was Clove?" He asks hesitantly.

I frown. "Something tells me it wasn't. She was able to walk a little and she didn't seem completely unconscious or anything. I mean, just five minutes ago she was sprinting and screaming. She looked pretty alive to me."

"Yeah, but those lumps on them had to be caused by some kind of venom, and I'm betting it was tracker jackers. That venom takes a while to set in."

I pause for a moment. In a District with literally no trees, there isn't much room for tracker jacker nests, so they've never been much of a threat. Though I hear other districts aren't as lucky. I imagine a district specializing in fruit trees would have nests everywhere. So Thresh probably knows more than his fair share about them. Still, something doesn't seem right. "What about the others, Bree and Glimmer and Peeta? Where are they? I think the tracker got them and they were so far gone that they couldn't run."

"You could be right about that." Thresh says. "Still, I can't help but wish it was Clove that died. She's unstable, I really think so. She's a threat."

"Well, if she dies then Cato is going to snap. You saw the way he carried her." I blurt out. Oh well, it's not like he didn't catch on. "Anyway, then we'll have an unstable Cato on our hands, which would be awful. He's terrifying enough as it is."

Thresh sits up. "Hey, while they're all lying unconscious in their tents, why don't we steal some food? I'm starving."

So I get up out of the tall grass and stretch my legs. It's been so long since I was last able to stand. Thresh watches me with nervous eyes. "Don't look so scared, this was your idea."

"I know. But I don't want either of us getting killed out there."

"Okay then, how about if I just go. It's not like I've never stolen things before."

Thresh looks at me blankly.

"I used to be a bit of a pickpocket back in 5. I only took what I needed though, of course."

"Well all right." Thresh says slowly. "But don't do anything stupid." He finishes so quickly I can barely catch it. I offer him a grin. Before he can change his mind, I sneak out of the grass.

Here at last is the Finch I know! The one who took risks and never looked before she leapt. The girl who smiled and laughed and never gave anything a second thought. Here is the Finch who has no doubt.

The grass disappears and after a short while I'm back in the field by the lake. It glitters ominously beneath the sparkling blue sky. The pile of supplies extends upwards, beckoning. The familiar rush of adrenaline races through me. But there's no reason to be scared. The Careers are in their tents. My guess is that they have bigger problems currently. Mainly deadly venom coursing through their veins. No, all I have is raw adrenaline.

I stand on my toes. Like always, I look to the left and then to the right. And I'm off. For some reason, I'm sprinting as if I'm running for my life. I have to tell myself that there's no real danger. But it's a force of habit. I see my hand extend from the sleeve of my coat. And then…I hesitate.

I'm so close. The bag of beef jerky is open and within reach. There's another one next to it that's full. I just need a water bottle and a few strips of jerky. That's all. But then I think of Cato's face when he was carrying Clove. How he looked so weak. I think of how small and vulnerable she looked. And that's when it really hits me.

All our lives, we "poor district kids" have been taught that they are viscous. That they are monsters. That they have no feelings. Or even that they're so strong they're practically invincible. But it's not true. It's all a lie. Because at the end of the day, we're all just a bunch of trembling kids who don't know how we got here.


	10. Bury

_~Would you help me stand, if I saw you in heaven?~_

The jerky tastes so good and salty on my tongue. Yes, I hesitated for just a moment, but instincts set in. I just grabbed it without another thought. When was the last time either of us had meat anyway? Thresh and I need this more than they do. They have a whole pile of supplies. Though neither of us dared to mention it, I think Thresh and I were both getting very dehydrated very fast. There is no better feeling in the world than a sip of water after a long period without anything to drink. We both give satisfied sighs when we're done.

"That was really brave of you to get this stuff." Thresh says softly.

"It was nothing. Like I said, it's not like I've never done it before."

"I guess. But it was still kind of tense." He laughs a little bit, but I can tell he was really worried.

The day is long. All we see of the Careers is Marvel getting out of the tent to get something from the pile. Later, as the shadows begin to shift, Cato goes out and sits down on a log, his head in his hands. That's when we hear it. A distant beeping noise fills the air. "What is that?" I ask Thresh, though in reality he probably doesn't know any more than me. He shakes his head, like I thought he would. Then, he taps my arm and points up. A little box is floating from the sky, attached to a parachute.

Cato's face instantly breaks into a relieved smile. He rushes towards the box and opens it, revealing a little white container. Instantly, he opens it and slathers some kind of cream all over his face and neck. "Medicine," I whisper. Cato sprints back to the tent, still smiling. I don't think I've ever seen his smile.

"So that settles it then. They're still alive and with that medicine, they'll stay that way." Thresh whispers.

Finally, after another interminable stretch of just sitting there, the sky darkens and the stars reappear. A cold wind whistles. Thresh and I lie on our backs, waiting for the first chords of the anthem. When they come, we both sit up on our elbows, straining our eyes at the sky. The first picture to appear is Glimmer's. The next is Bree's. I heave a sigh. I suppose its best that Glimmer is gone, but I can't help feeling selfish and wrong to think that. She had to have someone out there who really cared about her, didn't she?

But Bree's picture is a source for sadness. I had nothing against her. She probably just joined the Careers so she could live another day. And she was so protective of her partner, who she probably didn't even know. I don't even know her. And besides, it's best that she's dead and the Games can move on. That way maybe Thresh can win. He's one step closer to winning. In that moment, I really realize how much I want him to win. That way the victor will finally be someone with as much humanity as him. After all, I cannot win.

No matter how much I want to go home to see Trisa and Cable, my greatest friends, again, it just won't happen. Time to face the facts.

Thresh has already fallen asleep next to me. But I can't sleep. I turn over on my side and watch the lake glitter underneath the stars and moon. The sound of a zipper sounds through the air. I shift up on my elbows. It seems I'm not the only one who can't fall asleep. I watch as a small figure gets out of the tent, walking slightly unsteadily. The figure collapses onto the log near the pile. I make out a ponytail. It's Clove.

All of a sudden, she begins to cry. It's not just any kind of crying. Hysterical sobs rack her body as she crumples inward and tucks her face into her hands. The sharp sound pierces the cold, silent night air. I let out a breath and realize that I haven't taken one since I saw Clove start crying. I guess I was just so shocked.

I feel horrible watching this. I've always hated watching people cry. I feel this terrible because I know I can't comfort her. How could I possibly? She's the enemy. And she's sadistic. And unstable. And a monster and inhuman, right? Is that what I'm supposed to believe?

After a long time, the sobs turn into silent shaking, and then she goes back into her tent. The wind whistles softly, playing with the flaps on the tents and the grass all around me. It's as if she was never there. Slowly, I drift off to sleep.

Morning comes too quickly. What I would give to be able to just sleep? Just not be able to feel anything more? Thresh sits up and stretches his arms, then turns to look at me with a sad smile.

"So we've made to another day, huh?" He pauses. "I just can't tell if that's a good or a bad thing."

I shrug. I can't tell myself. Sometimes I have found myself wishing I could be someone like Katniss or even Cato. Someone who is trying so hard to win because they know they have a chance.

The sound of a tent being open and the Careers waking up causes Thresh and me to duck down into the grass. We strain our ears to listen what they're next plan will be. Clove looks shaky and pale, even from back here. Marvel isn't walking quite right and neither is Cato, but other than that, the medicine seems to have done wonders. The lumps have nearly disappeared and they're all alert and conscious. Cato clears his throat.

"So what's the plan?"

Marvel steps up, his hand shaking around his spear. "I saw the little girl from 11 in the trees right before the nest fell. I was half asleep and I thought I dreamt her up. Btu now I know she was real." His voice is seething with rage.

"And?" Cato asks, with an irritated tone. It's plain to see that he thinks of himself as superior.

"And I put two and two together! I'm not an idiot Cato." Marvel shouts. "Katniss wasn't working alone. I just know it. I'm gonna kill that little girl. Look, I know she's only 12 and we didn't go after her before because you said she was no threat. But she killed my _partner, _Cato. We knew each other for years before this. We trained together since the time we could walk. You two can take Peeta and the rest of them and even Katniss too. I know it's going to take more than just me to kill her anyways. But that little one is mine." His voice rises on the last sentence.

Cato shakes his head slightly. "All right, you got it. You and Clove go that way into the woods. See if you can find the District 3 boy, Thresh, or the District 10 boy, Clove. I'll go take care for that little traitor Peeta and fix him up as bait. I think we should all take down Katniss together for our own reasons, got it?"

Clove tilts her head. "Cato, aren't you forgetting someone?"

I draw my breath in quickly.

He shrugs, and I give a sigh of relief. "Yeah, you're right. I can't remember off the top of my head, but if you run into him or her…well, you know what to do."

And with that, they all take off in their separate directions.

"They forgot about you." Thresh whispers.

"I think that's a good thing." I whisper back. The plan of never picking up a weapon hasn't backfired yet. And it's Day 5.

The sky is a gray color. Sunlight beams through it. Once again, the temperature is steadily rising. I throw off my jacket and take a few hesitant sips of water. I'm going to need to go back to the pile for a refill soon. Thresh and I will probably have this water finished by tonight, only if we are careful enough. And maybe tomorrow I can get a new one. Maybe.

"What was your family like?"

The question comes out of nowhere so it takes me a while to answer while Thresh looks at me expectantly. We haven't talked all that much during the past few days, so I'm hesitant at first. But I don't want to just leave him hanging there without an answer.

"Oh, well, I was an orphan. I didn't have any siblings or anything."

He nods, but I can tell he doesn't really know how to respond. "I have a little sister and I live with my grandmother. My parents died when I was younger too." He pauses for a moment. "My mother died giving birth to Sadie and my father died a year after of some kind of stroke."

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

"Nah. Don't be. I have family. It's not like I'm alone or anything."

"Well, I'm not alone!" I burst out. "I have this roommate at the orphanage that is like my sister. I watch out for her. And I have a friend who is like a brother to me."

He bites his lip. "Sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset. I guess no one is really alone. I mean, somewhere out there there's got to be someone who loves you."

"Do you think the Careers have someone at home who loves them?" I ask out of nowhere. Typical Finch, always blurting things out.

"I don't know. At first I thought that was the case with everyone, but now I'm not sure. Hey, maybe that's why they're so sadistic. Anyway, it sure seems like Cato and Clove have each other. At least, from what I can see." He hurriedly says. Another long pause goes by. "Do you mind if I ask you how your parents died?"

I breathe in. Obviously, it would not be ideal with all the cameras around to mention that my mentor and I speculate that they were rebels. Better safe than sorry. "I don't know. I was found in their apartment alone. Apparently, I had been alone for 4 days when they found me. No one what happened to my parents, but most think they just abandoned me."

Thresh's eyes widen. "Why would anyone want to abandon you?"

The question makes me smile. "You're sweet. And you're guess is as good as mine."

All of a sudden, I feel a warm hand holding mine. My tiny pale hand is enclosed in his big brown one. I look up at him. He looks right back at me. Our eyes catch each other's for a moment. Then he lets his hand fall back into his lap. It's as if nothing ever happened.

The day drags on. And then, suddenly, there is a cannon boom shattering the air.

"Who do you think that one was?" I ask. But neither of us knows. Or at least, we're too afraid to say who we think it is. Little Rue can't be dead. No, not so soon.

Tense minutes turn longer until Thresh and I hear voices coming from the edge of the forest. Clove, Cato and Marvel seem to have reunited. And they've brought someone with them.

It's the small, pale boy from District 3.

He shuffles along behind them. Maybe he is keeping his face down because he is ashamed of what he's agreed to. Yes, over the course of these few days, the Careers have unknowingly proved themselves to have a trace of humanity left, but there is no reason to join them. This boy must have a really strong will to live. Or, now that I think about it, a death wish. No one who made an alliance with the Careers has ever come out of it.

Cato grabs him roughly by the arm and gestures to the ground. Marvel picks up a small shovel from the always-abundant pile and throws it at him.

"All right, 3, you made a promise." Cato spits out.

The boy frowns and crosses his arms. "My name isn't 3. It's Garrett."

My God. This boy really does have a death wish. Even I'm not that impulsive. Thresh gives an almost inaudible moan next to me.

Cato clenches his fists. "Okay then, _Garrett. _Just do what you said you would and follow whatever we say and don't push your luck."

He nods and gets off to work. I see him shoveling holes all around the Career's pile. He spends about 10 or 15 minutes at each hole, fiddling around with something under the ground. No matter how hard Thresh and I try to get a look at it, we can't see what it is. Once, I see a gray wire unearthed. But just for a moment. Garrett works until nightfall while the Careers sit and watch. Or whisper to each other. Well, mostly that's Clove and Cato. Marvel just sort of sits there looking upset with everything.

I frown at the holes. _Holes. Underground. District 3. Wires. _

They're mines. "Thresh; those things underground are land mines. Garrett's trying to reactivate them to create a booby trap."

He suddenly looks very panicked. "Finch, how can we get food?"

"It won't be hard. Look how sloppily that dirt's been piled on. I'll just jump around the piles of dirt. It's no problem." I try to reassure him.

Finally, just as the stars come out, Garrett shovels the last pile of dirt on the last hole. The anthem plays as Thresh and I burrow onto our jackets for the night. Now we will know whose cannon it was. I can't look. But it's David's picture in the sky. David, who was so kind. Who restored my faith that there were some morals left. David, the boy who was stronger than any other. And now he is dead.

Thresh sees my face. "The fact that he lasted this long was amazing in itself. I'm sure he touched a lot of people. That's all you could hope for, in these Games. Play them like no one expected you would."

I think for a while on his words. Now that David is dead, I think we are passed the final 10. It's narrowing down very fast. And soon, the Careers will be hunting for me. And when they find me, they will find Thresh. If one of us can't escape, neither can. We're hiding in the exact same spot. So sooner or later, I could get Thresh killed.

"Thresh I have to tell you something." I whisper.

"Yeah?"

"I think we're going to have to separate. You stay here, since this was your hiding spot in the first place. But I'm going to have to find somewhere else. Look, it's better for both of us this way. Right now, if one of us gets found, we're both dead. We could stand a better chance if we separated."

Thresh sighs. "I don't like this. I-I just feel like since I can't protect Rue or any of the others, I don't know, I'd just like to know that I'm there for someone. And once you leave…I won't have anyone. And neither will you. But you're right, Finch."

He stops talking for a while. I bury my arms deeper in my jacket to shield myself from the cold. "Don't do anything stupid, okay?" He finally whispers.

I laugh at this. A genuine laugh. This seems to be his favorite thing to say to me. He starts laughing too, a noise that fills me with warmth. The laughter quiets after a little. "Hey, since this might be the last time we see each other and it's freezing out here, do you mind if I do this?"

I don't have time to respond before I find his arm around me. It's like having a wall of protection. I smile a little. "Not if you don't mind me doing this." I move my head onto his shoulder and stay there. I bury my nose in the folds of his jacket. He smells like grass and smoke. It feels safe here.

"Not at all." I hear him whisper. "Not at all."


	11. Revenge

_~Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?~_

A stick cracks underneath my foot. No one is anywhere near, but I check anyway. Thresh was right. It might be hard to keep an alliance at this point, but it's even harder to stay alone. I wish more than anything I could run back and crawl back into the grass and hear his warm voice, see his soft smile, and smell that sweet-smoky smell on his jacket. But I can't. I can't put either of us at any more risk than we already are.

The trees loom above me. I don't want to head too far. The Career's food supply is still my main food source and I can't stray far from it. But these woods are full of others. I have to go somewhere I think is a good hiding spot where the Careers won't find me but at the same time, a spot near them. So that's why I'm headed to David's hollow.

I can see the small clearing ahead when I spot something on the ground. A red-brown stain on the moss. A large stick lays snapped in half. I hear myself draw in breath. I know what this is. I know what happened here. That's David's stick. And that's his blood. I stand there frozen. My breathing quickens. I can't stop staring at it. Who did it? Was it Clove or Marvel? Why would they snap his stick like that? He couldn't even die with dignity.

I put my hand on the stick. It's rough. David's hand was here just yesterday. I bite my lip. But then I see them. A little grove of bushes nearby covered in berries. There are yellow and purple flowers on the bushes. They're so bright compared to the darkness of the forest. a close look reveals the berries and their flowers as nightshade, which is poisonous. Well, it's not like I'll be eating it. I pick the flowers, one by one until my arms are full. Silently I walk back.

I set each flower down around the stick and around the moss. Soon, the red stain is covered and all that is visible is his stick. There. Now maybe he can pass on knowing that he died with someone there. He died with some dignity. And maybe, just maybe, he can go to heaven.

"Thank you for letting me use your hollow, David." I whisper.

It's as if he never left. The little area under the tree still has a jacket in it from where he slept. Like me, he took his jacket off in the heat of the day. It's all wrinkled and the leaves have all been cleared out of the little den. On a log, there is still a small pile of plants. They're all dried up. The spring is still bubbling. I sit on the log and crunch on a handful of plants. They aren't the most appetizing things, but they're edible.

By the end of the day, I've finished the plants. Tomorrow I will have to head back to the Career's pile and dodge those mines. But it won't be too hard. I crawl into David's den. The night is frigid, like always. So I throw on his jacket over mine. It's much warmer like this.

The anthem plays. There were no deaths today. Which means tomorrow will be more difficult. Still, besides the fire on the 2nd Day, the Gamemakers have had hardly any interference with us. It's the end of the 6th Day. Tomorrow I will have been here for a week.

The day dawns bright and clear. I put David's jacket back where it was and crawl out of the den and make the walk over to the Career's camp. Thresh will see me there. That way he'll know I'm fine.

I may have to wait a while, though. The Careers will definitely go hunting today, what with there being no deaths yesterday. But I can't be sure exactly when.

I almost smile when I see the familiar sight of the Career's pile.

I had to leave suddenly yesterday. I left first thing in the morning, when Thresh wasn't even awake. He's probably worried. But the Careers were still asleep and I had to take advantage of that. I walk up to the edge of the field. A few feet in front me is the first pile of dirt. The first mine.

One of the tent flaps is waving in the breeze at the far end of the field. There is no one inside. The three Careers stand together talking. Cato is crunching on an apple and Marvel is finishing off some kind of square thing that makes my mouth water. Garrett, the boy from 3, is sitting on a log and staring into space. All of a sudden, Cato turns around and points at something. I look around wildly. There. There, snaking above the trees is a thin line of smoke. Someone made a fire. My heart drops for this poor tribute. Didn't they learn from Lacey on Night 1?

The Careers run off shouting and leave the boy behind to sit wearily on his log. Now is my chance.

I take a long, shuddering breath. Then, before I can think too much about it, I jump. A few more steps and I've cleared the next mine. And the next. But then I trip.

My hands shoot forward and land on the ground with a _thunk._ I stifle a scream. But nothing happens. My hands have missed the mine by what can't be more than a few centimeters. I stand up slowly and shaking. Adrenaline rushes through me as I make the last few jumps. I was so close. So close.

I stick my hand into a bag and pull out a handful of crackers. Then an apple. . Then I'm off again, leaping around the piles. Garrett has taken no notice. I've been behind him the entire time.

I let out an audible sigh of relief as I enter the trees again. I'm safe. I'm alive and unharmed. And now I've got food.

I look at the pile. But my gaze shifts to something above it. Another trail of smoke? Why would anyone need to make two trails? Unless of course, it is a trap. Someone is trying to lead the Careers away from the pile. And just then, I see it. The bushes at the other of the field are rustling. A head pokes out.

There is someone who has been watching me this entire time.

The figure creeps out of the bushes. A brown braid reveals her as Katniss. I haven't had any contact with her from Day 1, when we crashed into each other. But she has a bow now and a quiver full of arrows, not just a little knife. Something tells me that if she knows I'm here, I will not be as lucky as last time. Curiosity overwhelms me and I crouch down. I have to see what she has in mind.

She strings an arrow, determination in her face. My heart quickens a beat as the arrow flies through the air. It hits the sack of apples. I realize her plan just in time to duck down.

The explosion rocks the earth beneath me. My heart feels like it's in my throat. Smoke is everywhere. Garrett crouches behind the log, curled into a ball. When that arrow hit the apples, they all tumbled down, bouncing on the mines and triggering them. Every mine seems to have gone off. The food pile is nothing but rubble.

Katniss lies crouched down on the ground, she's injured, I think. Well, after a blast like that, I'm extremely lucky that I even survived it. Within a short matter of time, the Careers come out of the trees. Cato takes one look at the pile and lets out an eerie scream. He runs toward the District 3 boy. Garrett crouches even lower, but it's no use. Within seconds, he's off the ground. Cato makes one quick motion with his arms and Garrett falls to the ground, limp as a rag doll. A cannon booms almost instantly.

I watch as Marvel and Clove try to calm him down. Marvel gives up after a while and stares back at the bushes where Katniss is hiding.

"Come on Cato. No one could have survived that." I hear Clove saying. "Whoever did it is dead."

Cato shakes with rage. "Well, then why didn't we hear cannon?"

Clove frowns. "Maybe it happened at the same time as the explosion so we couldn't make it out."

I smile a little. Soon, they'll look up at the sky when it gets dark and find that she escaped.

"Who did it?" Marvel shouts. "Rue?"

Clove rolls her eyes. "My God, Marvel. She's 12. Give the kid a break. I don't think a 12 year old could have come up with a plan like that. I couldn't have done it and I'm 14! No, it was someone stronger than that kid."

Cato nods, his fists still clenched. "Someone who has something against us."

"What about Peeta?" Clove asks.

Cato shakes his head. "No, I know where I cut him. It's not enough to kill yet, but he won't be going anyway without Fire Girl's help. I bet it was her."

Clove bites her lip. "Or Thresh."

There is a long silence following this.

The others nod. "Yeah, Thresh." They both whisper. Oh no. He's been under everyone's radar long enough, but now they're attention is shifted to him. And he didn't even do anything.

One by one, they grab their weapons and head back out. They're hunting. And this time, they know exactly who they're after.

But Katniss is still in the bushes. She's watching, I'm sure. But she can't do anything. I saw how she was injured. Like Cato said "not enough to kill, but she won't be going anywhere."

I step out and stare at the rubble. Finally, I allow myself to laugh. Well, hurray for Fire Girl! Now the Game is finally somewhat fair. Those Careers will be hopeless when it comes to finding food. I smile as I sift through the rubble. There are still some useful things left, but they'll be gone. A knife blade. That's what I need. Not for use as a weapon, but knives are still extremely useful. I've seen some squirrels around here and it's been a long time since I last had meat.

As I turn back to the trees, a thought hits me. What if I made an alliance with Fire Girl? But I quickly dismiss it. I saw that deadly aim of hers. And all I've got is one pathetic blade. Something tells me that look of determination would land me with an arrow lodged in my back. So I turn back to the den.

I sit down on the log and eat my crackers and apple. It's so good and crunchy. I'm finishing the last few bites when I hear a shrill scream.

It sounds like a little girl's voice. What did she scream?

"Katniss!" The scream pierces the air again.

It's Rue. I know it is. But why is she calling for Katniss? They must have formed an alliance.

I crouch down into the den and hug my knees to my chest. I can't shake the memory of when Thresh was talking about her. That look he had on his face. What would it do to him if she died?

I hear the sound of someone running and then another scream.

The next thing I hear is a cannon.

I hug my knees closer to my chest. I shut my eyes. Block it out. Just get rid of it all.

A soft sound carries through the trees. Is that…singing?

I must be dreaming. I keep my eyes shut until a second boom wakes me up. Two people dead. Two children are dead. And I don't know who. But two more families will be shutting off their television sets and sobbing. Two mothers out there have lost their children.

The pictures in the sky reveal the dead as Rue and Marvel. Rue I expected, but the fact that Marvel is dead comes as a bit of a shock. Katniss is listed as his killer. He said he would be the one to kill Rue, and I guess he lived to his word. He got his revenge. But I can't help but think how things would have been different if someone had been there constantly telling him "Don't do anything stupid." If he'd had anyone there for him at all.


	12. Escape

_~I must be strong and carry on~_

Everything hits me like a sudden blow when I first see the rays of sunlight. So many people are gone. Children who never did anything wrong and children who were twisted into doing so.

Atom. His face in the sky was an ice cold glare, but his eyes were pleading. Pleading for someone's help, for someone to offer him a hand.

Lacey, who I know so little about but must have been feeling so cold and alone when she died.

Bree, the girl who tried so hard to save a little boy's life, but failed to save even her own in the end.

Glimmer, who had the most confident smile I've ever seen, and yet was gone so soon.

David. The boy with so much inner strength that no one will ever know about.

Garrett, the brilliant boy who just turned around a split second too late.

Marvel, someone with no one to turn to. Whose real reason for killing might never be understood by anyone but me.

Rue. The girl who won over everyone's heart, yet everyone knew couldn't win

There is actual pain when all the faces are in my head. It comes from deep inside my chest, a dull achy feeling that I can't shake for the rest of the day. I can't help but think who might be next. Will it be me? I know I can't last for much longer. There remaining tributes are composed of 2 Careers and 3 others who all scored an eight or above. And there's me, who scored a 5. So really, I don't even try to hope. I don't even have a weapon.

"Attention tributes, there has been a slight rule change."

The oily voice causes me to jolt up. It's coming from the sky. Must be the announcer. I sit on my heels, desperate to find how this may benefit me.

"We have decided that this year, two tributes may both win, providing they are from the same district. Good luck, and may the odds be in your favor."

My heart sinks. I'm not affected by this, and neither is Thresh. No one is on our side.

Throughout the day, I feel slow. Like there are weights on my feet. I hate this feeling. One of the worst feelings in the world for me is not feeling alert or awake. I sit by the spring and splash some cold water on my face. After a while, I just sit there, dangling my hands in the water. That's what I'm doing when I hear footsteps.

My body freezes. _Don't move, Finch. Just don't make a sound. _

The first thing I register in my mind is that the footsteps don't sound like they belong to a larger tribute. In fact, they're rather light. Hardly noticeable at all. I shouldn't be frightened.

But I am so wrong.

A swishing dark ponytail is the first thing I see. The same perfect one it has been these whole Games. The pale face suddenly snaps around and I'm face to face with dark, glittering green eyes.

It's Clove.

She crosses her arms, a smirk plastered on her petite face. "Well, what do we have here?" She tilts her head to the side. "Oh, so you're the one we keep forgetting about, huh?"

My body is still hunched over, frozen in fear. My heart feels as if it has stopped.

Clove draws a blade from the pouch on her belt. "Hmm. Guess everyone else will be forgetting about you soon enough." She grins.

"Wait!" I splutter. Clove looks momentarily taken aback.

I clear my throat. "I don't think you want to do that." I say in a much less shaky voice.

Clove smirks again, but her eyes look genuinely curious. _She's only 14, Finch. Keep that in mind. How hard can this be?_

"Where's Cato?" This time it's my turn to smile.

Clove's eyes widen slightly. I can tell she knows where I'm going with this. "He's hunting." She says quickly.

"Without you?" I try to sound confused here. "Come on Clove, I know about you two."

Clove's smirk becomes a look of shock. But she quickly recovers, turning into a sneer. "Oh, and how's that gonna save your life, huh?"

I clear my throat again. "Well let's think about this Clove. It seems to me that, even though there was that rule change a short time ago, Cato is distancing himself from you. I'm sure before he never wanted you out of his sight. He thinks you might lose. But what he doesn't realize is that there's a chance he might too. Katniss, Peeta and Thresh are some pretty formidable enemies you've got there. "

Clove reaches her hand towards the pouch of knives again. "Cato cut Peeta up pretty badly, you know. Where have been these whole Games?"

But I continue, trying to look unfazed. I want her to think that it's me who has the upper hand. "Let's say, just theoretically here, that neither of you win. No one will ever know about you, the _real _lovers. But I do. And let's say, theoretically again of course, that I win. I'll know about you two. I'll remember you and I can tell others about you." I pause. "Let's face it Clove, no matter how you try to cover it up, you aren't completely fearless. You're afraid of being forgotten."

Clove's jaw tightens. Her eyes at first are bright with anger, but suddenly, they soften. "All right." She whispers. "You win this time." She stiffens again. "But only because you aren't even a threat. I'll let Fire Girl finish you off, for all I care."

And with that, the girl with the secret weakness melts back into the trees.

I am left sitting there in disbelief, not quite registering what just happened.

Clove is wrong about Katniss. I have seen her twice during these Games and both times I'm sure she saw me. But neither time to did she make even the slightest effort to kill me. Why? Is it because, like Clove, she doesn't view me as a threat? Or is it something more?

I don't know why, but I heave a large sigh. My body feels exhausted, likely from my lack of food. I crawl back into David's little den.

Being alone gives me a lot of time to think. But that's not really something I want to do.

My mind wanders to my parents. I scrunch up my eyes and slowly try to piece together all the memories I have. I remember being hoisted up on a man's legs, my arms spread wide. All around me, there was the pure white of the bed sheet. I can picture a woman laughing as ran into the room wearing her skirt. And I can remember both of them around my bed, stroking my head with soft fingers and singing. I don't remember what they were singing. I don't even remember what they looked like. But those were my parents.

There are no bad memories. No fights. No tears. We loved each other that I'm sure of. So why did they go? Andrea is right. She has to be. My parents were underground rebels.

But I force myself to push this all aside. It's cold and I'm alone. I don't want these other heavy thoughts weighing me down.

"Attention tributes."

A second announcement? What?

"Each of you needs something. Desperately."

I bite my lip. I have water and shelter, but more than anything I need food. Something to keep me going. All I've had to eat were tiny apples, stale crackers, tough jerky and small almost inedible plans. I'm starving and I know it. If I don't get some real food soon, I won't have the energy to get up tomorrow.

"There will be a feast at the Cornucopia at dawn. Good luck."

The voice signs off with a click. The Cornucopia at dawn. I will be there.

Evidently, neither of the Careers' hunting went well. There were no deaths today. _But there will be tomorrow._

I force myself to get up just as the tips of the sky are changing from deep blue to grays and pale pinks. The air is still cold and I shiver slightly as I walk. It's still a little dark out here. The leaves crunch beneath my boots. I push a strand of hair out of my face. When I first woke up, I fixed my hair and put it back into the tight buns again. It just felt like the right thing to do. And it calmed me just a bit.

I hear a _crunch _behind me and I whip my head around. But there is no one there. It's just me and the shadows. I cross my arms over my chest. Head bent, I continue walking. I want to arrive there first. Or else I'll have to face one of these intimidating tributes face-to-face again. And that will get me killed in an instant.

Except for Thresh. I'm not sure what would happen if I ran into him. I've seen the way the Games twist people. You think you can trust someone, but then you end up with a knife in your back. I always Thresh was too good for that. But I can never be all the way sure.

Finally, I see the tip of the structure rising above the trees. The sky has grown light. I drop my arms to my side and take a deep breath. The air seems to catch in my lungs. Can I really do this?

I shoot off. With my toes barely touching the grass, which is still wet from dew, I focus straight in front of me. And without a moment's hesitation, I run right through the Cornucopia.

I didn't even know that there was a hole in the back end, but that is why I am suddenly at the front. I grab the bag marked "5" and take off for the trees.

There was no plan. This is exactly how I used to always do things. I'm sure the others were just standing on the edge, their eyes full of fear, unsure of when to move. What they don't know is that it's far easier to just do it. I'm suddenly reminded of a game we used to play in school. Some children would be "Peacekeepers" and all the rest of us would go behind a line and be "thieves." We would have to run across the blacktop without getting caught. Everyone just stood there after the whistle blew, but I was always the first to go. Sometimes I got caught, but usually I didn't.

I guess today I didn't.

I stumble into the bushes and collapse into a fall. I catch my breath. And that's when I see it.

The sky has grown dark.

I tilt my head up, expecting something truly horrible. But instead, it's a giant hovercraft. My mouth falls open. _What? Is this some kind of sick trick the Gamemakers are pulling?_

At the edge of the field, Katniss stands, her arms shaking at her sides. Clove stands just a few feet from her. It's a wonder they haven't seen each other. In any other circumstance, Clove would have her pinned on the ground with a knife at her throat, but they're just standing there in shock. And Clove looks scared. A slight movement to the left of Clove tells me that Thresh is somewhere behind. He emerges, his mouth agape. We lock eyes.

A claw with some kind of stretcher shoots down. I've seen this before. It's what they used to collect Lacey's body. It's what they use to collect all the dead ones.

And it's coming straight for me.

"I'm not dead!" I suddenly scream. The stretcher drops down and the claw encloses around my waist. "I'm not dead!" I scream again, louder this time. "I'm right here." I say softly, my body going limp. The only support is the stretcher beneath me and the claw around me.

I'm right here.

"Finch!"

My name is screamed so loudly I feel like I'm crumbling. It was Thresh. His voice sounds so pained.

A hatch above me opens. Just as I'm being pulled through, I see other hovercrafts in the sky. The air is filled with screams.

But here it is silent.

Everywhere, people dressed in blinding white surround me. Their faces are looks of concern.

But this can't be right. No one here shows concern. No one but Thresh. I can't trust any of these people. It's a trick. A trap. The Gamemakers want me to feel comfortable and safe and then, and then…

"I'm not dead!" I scream so loudly I can feel my voice turn raw. I see a flash of silver.

"Please." I whisper.

And then everything goes black.

When I come to, all I can see is white again. There is softness all around me, and a warmth spread all over my body. But there is a figure sitting next to my bed. A figure wearing pale peach. I blink several times until my vision is no longer blurry.

The figure is Andrea!

It is, without a doubt, my mentor. And yet, it isn't. Her eyes are bright and alert, not glazed over and trying to shut everything out. Her hair is pulled back in a perfect bun without a hair out of place. All I've ever seen is wild, thin hair flying all over the place. She wears a bright top with ruffles on the sleeves, sleek black pants, and shoes that shine in the whiteness of the room. Several large bracelets dangle from her wrists.

"Well hello Finch. I'm happy you finally woke up." She gives me a bright smile, so unlike her tired, weary one.

I sit up on my elbows. The pillow against my back feels softer than anything I've ever known. "You look so different!" I blurt out.

Andrea just laughs. It's a high, almost musical sound. "Why thank you."

"Are you off your morphine?" I'm blurting things out again.

But Andrea just tilts her head and smiles again. "Oh Finch, I haven't touched a morphine drip in _months._"

I fall back onto my pillow. Andrea sees the shock on my face.

"It started last year, right when the Games were over. President Snow paid a visit to my house."

I let out a gasp. "The President came to your house!? Why?"

Andrea's face turns serious. "He told me that 5 hadn't won the Games at all since I became the mentor. He said people were staring to get suspicious. Of course, Careers should be winning most of the time, but it's always good to throw in an unexpected victory, so long as it isn't from 10, 11 or 12. But tributes from 5, previously well-liked in the Capital for their tendency to strategize, hadn't won in far too long. So to give me some incentive, he said he planned to rig the next Reaping."

"Rig?" I stammer.

She nods silently. "Yes. He said he was going to pick a child of two well-known underground rebels who had managed to escape him." Andrea pauses when she sees me face. "I don't know where they are Finch and it seems no one else does. Anyway, I knew I had to protect this child, whoever she was. So I got some help from a Capital specialist and was off the morphine shortly. I have been ever since. It would look too strange to others if I suddenly gave it up for no reason, so I simply pretended."

I take a deep breath and let it settle in my still-woozy brain. My parents were well-known rebels. They escaped death. No one knows where they are. They could be here. Wherever "here" is.

"Andrea, where are we?" I finally say.

"We're in District 13, Finch. District 13."


	13. Explain

_~Because I know I don't belong here in heaven~_

"H-how?" I stammer. No, this is impossible. District 13 was completely obliterated more than 70 years ago. It's nothing but a pile of rubble. I've seen the pictures and so has everyone else. We see them at school and at the speeches given at the Reapings. It's gone. Now I know that this is some kind of extremely elaborate trap.

Andrea bites her lip and sighs. "I know it's so much to take in Finch. And after all you've gone through…well; just try to bear with me. District 13 is underground. That's why we've never seen it. I understand how you feel. It was how I felt too." She stops momentarily, but then continues. "Immediately after we arrived in the Capital I was approached by a rebel. It was in secret, of course. And I must say I was easily convinced. Anything that could help save you…" she trails off.

Suddenly, she perks back up. "My goodness, you must be starving. I'll go see what I can do."

With that, she rushes out of my tiny room. I feel weak from hunger and as if my stomach is literally clawing at myself. But I somehow have been managing to ignore that. I fall back into the pillow. What is going on?

A clicking sound of heels fills the hallway. Andrea has returned with a nurse who bears a tray of food. It's just a bowl of oatmeal and a roll, but I eat hungrily. Of course, I'm careful not to eat too much too fast. I need to stay s alert as possible. I'm finishing the last spoonfuls of oatmeal when two more people crowd into the tiny room. I look up. There, standing right at the edge of my bed, are Antony and Aurelia.

I put the spoon down. Antony walks right over to me. "I'm sorry this has to be such a big shock for you."

I swallow. So perhaps this isn't just an elaborate trap. Maybe I really am out of that place and safe.

But what about the others? I saw the hovercrafts. Were they rescued too?

I turn to Antony, who wears a look of concern. "Is everyone else here too?"

Antony nods slowly. "Yes, all of the other tributes who were still alive are here. Maybe it would be wise not go near them, though. They are all in a similar situation as you; they're confused. And I know for a fact that some of these tributes were not quite mentally sane to begin with."

I clear my throat. I know just who he's talking about. "So why rescue them? Did you even intend to?"

"Well, to be honest, we didn't. However, we knew we didn't have much time left. Cato was, quite literally, right behind you Finch. Had we waited a moment longer, you would be dead. And as for Clove, she's had her eyes on Katniss since the start and since they were so near each other, she could very well have killed her. Peeta was literally hanging onto life. So in order to rescue you, Thresh, Katniss and Peeta, we had to rescue them. We certainly couldn't just leave them behind." He finishes.

I swallow again. They are all here.

Aurelia gives me a tight smile. "You look very tired. Why don't we give you some time to rest?"

I'm flooded with appreciation for Aurelia. "Thanks." I whisper as everyone slowly leaves.

When I wake up again, the room is empty except for a single nurse in the corner. I push myself up and, ignoring the dull ache in my head, swing my legs off the side of the bed. It takes a while for me to steady myself, but once my feet are planted firmly on the ground, I head towards the door. This room is just too tiny. The nurse takes no notice of anything I'm doing. "Is is all right if I get out of this room?" I ask her.

She answers in a slightly monotonous voice. "Yes, as long as you can stand on your own. You don't have any injuries, so it will be permitted. Though I suggest you stay on this floor for now."

I nod my thanks and slip out. The first thing I notice is that the hallway is a muted gray. I look down at the clothes I'm wearing. I have on baggy light gray pants and a soft dark gray t-shirt. I'm relieved that the shoes on my feet are black boots very like the ones we wore in Training. The gray slippers I expected would be altogether too much like a mental asylum. But I after all I've been through, I might as well be in one.

I pass a glass door to another room. I can't help but look inside. There are three people dressed all in white, doctors and nurses, examining a leg. I tilt my head and see a brown braid. Katniss is inside there. Quickly, before anyone can see, I run away. It would look terribly strange for me to just be staring into someone's room. So there really are others here.

At the end of the hallway there is a thick set of metal double door which I open with some effort. The inside is as gray as the outside. _It almost reminds me of home. _I think bitterly. Some chairs like in a waiting room surround a chrome table. I hear dull voices and turn a little. There is a thick glass door which is blocking all the sound out from the room next door. Six figures stand gathered around a large, circular chrome table. Their head are bent low in conversation. One of them has dark skin like Thresh. Suddenly, I recognize her vaguely as his mentor.

She stands with five people I don't recognize. I stare around the room for a little while longer, but then exit it from the door ahead. There is another hallway here.

Like the one before, this one is lined with rooms. But they are different. There is no more stark whiteness or IV drips or hospital beds. Instead, there are normal looking beds and everything is painted a pretty pale blue. The sheets are blue, but the pillows are white. In each room, there are two beds and a chrome table between them. There are 3 rooms like this, but the fourth has only one bed. Across from all these bedrooms is a larger room. I head inside.

The room is blue-gray and lined with soft couches and chairs. On one wall there is a bookshelf and on another there is a screen. It's some kind of relaxing room. Force of habit finds me walking right over to the bookshelf. My finger grazes the titles. I stop abruptly at one. It's a big red book. I glance at the title. _2275: A True History of the World. _I've only heard the title. And even then, it is whispered or quickly silenced. We did learn the title in school recently. The man who wrote it was insane. The Capital officials treated him properly. But I pull it out anyway.

I instantly lose myself in its pages. The book begins by saying that for thousands of years before the Dark Days, people existed. I have never heard that we were here for so long. The teachers don't believe in wasting time teaching the past. But here, this book isn't useless! I read over how people always had different ways of ruling. And there were always different ways of punishment. But these are different from us. We, children, are the ones punished and killed for wrongs done which we weren't alive to witness. People in the past were only punished for things they had done. I close the book. No doubt about it, it should be banned. And yet, it is right here. Why?

The door suddenly swings open and I jump up. Whipping my head around, my eyes widened, I see that it's only Thresh.

"I didn't mean to scare you." He mutters. "I thought I'd find you here." He pauses to look around the room. "It's kind of nice here. Really quiet and peaceful." He sort of nods, then sits beside me. The couch makes a huffing noise as he sits. He stares at me with wide brown eyes. "So what now?"

The question takes me by surprise. "I was just wondering the same thing." I whisper.

Thresh clenches his fists. "Why are we here anyways? I just want some answers."

"Me too." I tell him quietly. "I saw your mentor in some kind of meeting room. Maybe we can get some answers there."

He nods. "Okay."

So we leave that surprisingly pleasant room. But before we enter through the door that leads us into the two meeting rooms, Thresh stops me by gently tapping my wrist. I turn slowly around to meet his gaze. Our eyes lock.

"Finch, I just wanted to say that I-I'm just so relieved that you're all right." He looks at me nervously. "I got so worried when I woke up and you weren't there. I started to think that we shouldn't have split up. When I heard those cannons go off, I told myself that it would be my fault if it were you. And I could never live that." He pauses again to clear his throat. "I guess I just never wanted you to leave."

I don't know why, but I put my arms around him. He still smells sort of smoky. Thresh's arms fold around me. I nestle into his shoulder. Just like the night so long ago.

"I never wanted to either." I whisper in his ear. And he smiles.

Together, we open the door. But we are not alone.

At the far end of the smaller room, the room with the chairs and the coffee table, Clove and Cato sit together. In the middle of the room, far away from them, Katniss is sitting and wringing her hands. It was a smart decision to sit as far as way from those two as possible. Thresh and I end up sitting somewhere between them. Katniss looks a t us quickly, but then averts her eyes. The door from the larger room opens and in walks Thresh's mentor and the others. As soon as they walk in, Cato jumps out of his seat, his hands forming fists.

"Why doesn't someone tell us what's going on here?!" He roars. "We spend 10 days in a game of fighting to the death and you steal Clove and my honor. We can never go home now! We're going to be trapped in this gray place forever!" Clove stands up, her arms crossed. She stares at all of us with an ice cold stare.

Now, I feel a movement as Katniss stands. "What's wrong with you?" She whispers through clenched teeth. "No matter what everyone is pretending, at one point, everyone in this room was trying to kill each other just yesterday. We were planning to _murder._ And now we're just expected to sit in some small room together and _play nice?!_"

I have to admit, I'm with Katniss on this one.

The mentor from 11 whose name I don't know motions for them all to sit. They don't. But she talks anyway. "My name is Seeder and I am the mentor from 11. Now, before anyone can jump on each other and murder each other, I have something to say. And when I'm done, you may want to rethink your plans." She eyes Cato and Clove. Clove leans back in her chair and rolls her eyes as if to say _try me._ Seeder clears her throat. "You were all thrown into the arena for a reason. Even our volunteers. It wasn't random."

Cato lets out a short laugh. "I don't give a damn about how these kids got here. I volunteered. I wouldn't call that random."

Seeder takes a deep breath. "Maybe Enobaria can explain."

A woman behind her, younger than Seeder, steps forward. She must be Cato and Clove's mentor. "Each and every one of you belongs to a family of rebels."

There is a complete silence in the room. I knew that about myself. But all the others? How?

Seeder continues. "I'll start with you, Thresh. You're great-grandfather was one of the top-ranking rebels during the Dark Days. He was killed shortly after your grandfather's birth. And your grandfather died years ago, right?"

Thresh nods stiffly. "I think it was four years before I was born."

"And both your parents are dead?" Seeder asks. She doesn't wait for Thresh's answer. "Everyone was told that your mother died from complications from childbirth, but in reality, a Peacekeeper had been ordered to poison her food. And you were told that your father died of some kind of stroke, but he was captured and brought to the Capital. We have no other records. Your Reaping was rigged."

"How do you know all that?" Thresh questions.

Seeder gives a soft sigh. "My father was a Peacekeeper who quit his job afterwards. He heard about it because his friend was assigned to eliminate the Whey family. It made him sick, so he became a fruit picker."

Thresh buries his head in his hands.

She turns over to Katniss. "And as for you, your father was what the Peacekeepers called a warning. He exhibited early signs of rebellious behavior and was put on watch shortly before his death. Which no one knows for sure whether it was truly an accident."

Katniss doesn't look shocked. Instead, she just plays with her hands nervously. It dawn on me that Peeta isn't here. He was injured, wasn't he?

This time, it's Enobaria's turn to speak. "As for Cato, your father wasn't from District 2 at all. HE was an undercover journalist from District 3. He went to District 2 to find what life was like and enlighten the other districts on Capital propaganda there. He was caught. The President had another way of dealing with him, though. Instead of just killing him, he was forced to watch his wife be taken away."

Cato sucks in his breath sharply.

"The President himself also told him that his only child should be sent to the Training Academy full-time and be cut off from his father. By doing this, it would practically ensure that you'd volunteer."

Cato's eyes suddenly fill with sadness. I have never seen a Career like this. "I just thought the old man didn't care." He whispers. His teeth clench again. "I just wanted people to care. I wanted to bring my District honor. But I couldn't even die doing that."

Enobaria looks quite unsympathetic. "And now for Clove. Well, when your sister was in the Games, she didn't exactly play them the way people expected her to at all. We had our own bit of rebellion that year. And that's why all those trainers have showered you praise beyond the others. They were specifically told to, so you would grow confident and sure of yourself, just like Jetta was. And you'd volunteer, just like her."

My heart stops. She had a sister?

Seeder lets out another quiet sigh. "And Finch, well you already your story."

Katniss sits up. "W-Wait, your name is Finch?"

I'm startled by this. I knew her name for the entire Games, so it never occurred to me that she wouldn't even bother learning mine. Am I that invisible?


	14. Cry

**Author's Note: In the last chapter, it was briefly mentioned that Clove had a sister who "did some unexpected things" in her Games. In this chapter, that will reappear and as will another aspect of those Games, why Thresh hates District 2 so much and why he was so close to Rue. **

**This is explained with much greater depth in my story The Sharp Knife of a Short Life. (Not Severed because Clove's back-story is different) but if you are curious and want to know some more about their back-stories and the people they knew who were in the Games, I would recommend The Sharp Knife of a Short Life.**

_~Behind this door, there's peace I'm sure. There'll be no more tears in heaven~_

So that's it then. We're all from families of rebels. I just can't shake the thought that Clove had a sister who was in the Games too. Why would she volunteer then? Does she want to leave her family with no one?

Enobaria clears her throat. "So if any of you had the idea to kill each other, well, why don't you just think of the little conversation we just had?"

She leaves the room. Slowly, Seeder and the others follow. We're left alone. The brutal killer. The sadistic girl who is hiding something. Pretend lover girl. The silent one. And me. We all lock eyes for just a moment, confusion resonating in each of our faces. What now? How can anything be forgiven?

In an instant, Thresh leaps up. "That's it!" He screams.

The room rings with the sound. Everyone, even Cato flinches. They haven't heard him speak above a whisper. Thresh pants. "I can't stand this anymore. There's no way all that happened over the past days can just be _forgotten_. So many people were killed." He pauses. "At your hands." One shaking finger is pointed at Clove and Cato.

Katniss stands up with him. "I'm with Thresh on this. I don't know why you're the way you are, but you need to go. _Just get out._" She hisses between clenched teeth.

"No." Cato says, surprisingly calmly. "No." He takes a breath. "You've got it all wrong, Miss 'I'm -so -innocent' Okay, I get it. I killed a bunch of kids."

I suck in my breath. It's sick how casually he said that.

"But Clove didn't"

There is a momentary silence. I bite my lip. Clove and I are the only ones sitting, but instead of her giving me some kind of glare, she just looks kind of tired.

Thresh gives a sharp laugh. "Oh yeah? She's a Career. We're not idiots, Cato. She killed David, and all those kids in the Bloodbath and that girl from 8 and who knows who else?"

But Cato shakes his head. "Katniss, how many people did you kill?" He asks suddenly.

Katniss pales. "Three." She says softly.

Three? She killed three people? I knew I had a reason to be afraid of her.

"Clove here only killed two."

There is more silence. I think everyone refuses to believe that a Career only killed two people.

Clove looks up. "I think I can speak for myself now, thanks." She says this with just a hint of her sarcasm. "Anyway," she continues, "it was Marvel who killed David, not me. And it was Cato who killed that girl from 8. I killed the boy from 9 and the girl from 10. She jumped me, so that was all instincts. I didn't kill anyone else." She turns to Katniss. "So someone explain to me why I'm the murderer here and Fire Girl, who killed more than me, is the good guy."

But she doesn't wait for her answer. "Yeah, I get it. District 2 and all that. I don't know, maybe if you knew about my sister Jetta's Games, you'd change your minds. She shocked a lot of people then."

Clove throws a look back at Katniss. "And by the way, Lover Girl, your little friend wasn't killed for no reason. Marvel saw her up in that tree and he put two and two together. She helped you kill his _partner._ Don't think she died innocent with no blood on her hands. We're all murderers. Let's just face that right now."

And then, she is gone.

Cato looks back at us. "Just give her some time. Whenever she mentions Jetta, she usually has to spend some time alone."

I nervously swallow. I would never, ever dare to speak to Cato. He's a monster. But I have to. "Cato, what exactly happened to Jetta?"

He shakes his head slowly. "I can't tell you. I don't want her to be unhappy with me. She'll tell you when she's ready."

I sit back in my chair. "She's ever happy?" I blurt out. Katniss raises her eyebrows.

But Cato smiles. Actually smiles. It's a genuine smile like on every other teenage boy. It's disgusting how he can turn into a killer at any moment, but for a moment, I'm witnessing another side to him.

"Oh yes, she can be really happy. Especially when she was younger. I mean, she's always been serious, but she actually laughs really easily. And she's got the best sarcastic sense of humor." He pauses. "But you won't believe me. I think she'll always be a monster to you. Honestly, we just wanted some honor, but then all this happened."

The door opens from the hallway and a woman dressed all in white pokes her head into the room. "Dinner is being served in the Meal Room. It's located on the 16th floor. Your bracelets will be scanned according to what food you should be served." She pauses and the clipped, almost mechanic persona drops for an instant. "If you're not ready to be with other people or each other yet, I suppose I can make arrangements for you to be served in your separate hospital rooms." She closes the door.

Katniss looks directly at Thresh and me. "I don't know about you guys, but I want to get out of this cramped room." She stands to leave. Thresh and I get up to follow her, but Cato makes no move to join us. I pause for a moment to look at the thin bracelet around my wrist. I've just noticed it. It's plastic with something written on it. I squint to see it.

"Mentally unstable." I read out loud. Thresh raises his eyebrows and looks at his.

"I've got that too!" He exclaims.

Katniss makes a noise like a cough. "Me too."

Cato shrugs from his seat. "Not that any of you care, but Clove and I both have it." He shrugs again lightly. "Guess it's true for us. Enobaria told me they'd remove that label when necessary, but for now we can do whatever the hell we want."

Katniss makes another sound of disgust at him and we walk quickly out of the room.

Our footsteps echo in the hallway. None of us makes a sound. Well, it's not like anyone was expected to. Once we're in the elevator though, she turns to me.

"So you can talk." She blurts out.

I'm rendered speechless by this, which I find just a little bit funny. In fact, I almost smile. Still, I'm not even sure if I'm ready to talk to her yet. She murdered more kids than a Career? Still, there must be some explanation. "Ummm…yeah." I finally say.

Thresh shifts, but I can tell he's holding back a smile at our oh-so-intelligent conversation.

She shuffles her feet. "Sorry, I just never really heard you talk. I mean, that was stupid because I saw your interview. Maybe I just figured you were so traumatized or something that you just stopped. But that was pretty dumb."

I shrug. "I used to be the most talkative girl at my school."

They both look at me in disbelief.

"Hey, how come we're going down?" I ask to no one in particular.

Thresh answers. "Because it's all underground to keep anyone from knowing its existence. So if you press for the 16th floor, you're going 16 floors down."

The doors wing open and we enter a much wider corridor. A few people are walking down it, talking to one another. I can almost imagine it being a city street, except that they all head into a single set of doors. We follow the crowd and try not to look out of place. Needless to say, it does not work.

I try to talk to someone. "So Katniss, where's Peeta?"

She frowns slightly. "Getting medical work done on his leg."

Flurries of whispers chorus through the hallway as we try to make our way through the double doors. A man holds the door open for us with a look of shock on his face. I notice that we all have our eyes lowered as we get our dinner.

The actual food is filling. As for its taste, well, I can't afford to be picky.

I look around the gigantic room we're seated in. People of all ages roam around putting food on their trays or talking to each other. Children sit next to their parents. The tables are all crowded and yet they seem to go on forever. It's like an entire city can fill this one room. Except one thing is different. There is no shouting. In fact, I don't even see anyone laughing. Children sit quietly and adults talk in low voices. That, and everything is gray and white. I can't help a morbid thought from floating through my mind. _Why aren't you all dead? Shouldn't those bombs have killed you all? How are you here?_ But I have never liked thinking morbid questions, so I push them to the very back of my mind.

Anyway, Katniss interrupts my thoughts. "You know, it's so strange. The Games never really touched me before this. I mean, every year I would watch two kids I didn't even know get picked and I'd pity them for a few weeks afterwards and then move on with my life. Then there'd be a speech made by some clueless, heartless Career that would me a little sick to my stomach, but I always thought I had bigger problems. And then, it was _me. _Do you know what I mean?"

I nod. "I know what you mean. I never knew anyone who was picked, except for a girl in my class when I was 13. I wasn't friends with her, in fact, I really didn't like her. But she had a large group of friends and the school was quiet for a long time after her death. But there were never memorials or anything. There never are."

Thresh clears his throat softly. "They got to me long before I was chosen."

I set my fork down, a piece of some kind of tough meat still on it.

"My best friend was in the Games when she was only 13. She was in Clove's sister's Games."

Katniss' spoon clatters to the table. "Wait; do you know what happened with her sister? What did she do?"

Thresh frowns, deep lines crease his forehead. "She did a lot of things a typical Career wouldn't do. Anything you can think of; Jetta did it. She made an alliance with a 12 year old with absolutely nothing to offer. It was just to protect her or something. It was completely unexpected. And then, she saved some kid from 10's life by killing the girl who was holding a knife to his throat. Then, they made an alliance. And fell in love."

My heart skips a beat. In _love?_ What is with that family?

Katniss echoes my thoughts. "Well, what happened next?"

"Jetta killed my best friend, that's what. Heather, who I never realized before, but meant the world to me, died crying."

Again, my heart feels as if it's in my throat. "Why though?! She made an alliance with a 12 year old, but then killed a 13 year old?"

Thresh lets out a long, shaky breath. "That's not exactly how it worked. You see, Heather was the one who killed Jetta's little ally. She went completely insane when she was so young. Jetta was getting revenge or something. Heather had her cornered and it was the final five, so there wasn't much else Jetta could have done, I guess. But I still get so angry with her sometimes, even though both of them are long dead. Maybe that's why I could barely even look at Clove. She looks exactly like her sister."

Katniss stares at her tray as if it's intensely interesting. I vaguely remember Rue doing the same thing that first day of training. That was so long ago.

"And that's why I wanted to protect Rue." Thresh says softly. "I didn't want her to end up like Heather. I couldn't save Heather. She was so far gone at one point that she ripped off the token I gave to her. I just wanted to feel like I could save someone, but we all know that that could never work."

Katniss nods, a far-off look in her eyes. Eventually, we get up to throw our trays out and head back up to our Residential Floor.

He pauses. "Well anyway, Jetta didn't win. She was killed by some other Career. Her boyfriend from 10 was the winner. He was the first in history to have never made a kill, well, not really."

But the whole time I'm absorbed in one thought. Did Clove cry when she found out that her sister was never coming home?


	15. Trapped

_~Time can break your heart~_

"We have decided that each of you is to share a room with someone else here. And we have decided your 'roommate,' so that, perhaps, there will be less of a desire to murder one another."

The words don't fully resonate at first. Seeder stands in front of us, her weathered arms crossed and a look on her face that clearly says not to defy her. Along with her entourage and the people from 2, Andrea, Aurelia and Antony have joined her. I've also noticed a tired looking unkempt man with a flamboyant dressed woman, obviously an escort. There's a man standing with them wearing a black suit with gold on the edges. They must be 12's.

It hits me just then. A piece of meat from dinner just a few minutes ago seems to lodge itself in my stomach. So we were all assembled into the meeting room to be told that we're going to share a room with someone who could choke us n our sleep, for the purpose of everyone _not wanting to murder each other? _

Everyone wears looks of shock and confusion. I don't think any of us want to believe what we've just heard. But the unkempt looking man breaks our confusion. "All right, now I know you all did a lot of stupid things in that arena. But just hear this through. It's not like you have a choice anyway." His voice sounds gravelly. "Thresh, you will be with Katniss."

Thresh shift uncomfortably in his seat. Honestly, I think we both have mixed feeling about Katniss. Yes, she's not a Career. And yes, she got my ass saved not once, but twice. And she never made any effort to hunt us or kill us. But she killed three kids and Thresh and I still don't know the reason why. And she's always seemed…cold. It will definitely be hard sharing a room with her. But it isn't the worst that could happen…

"Clove, you'll be sharing a room Finch."

"_Noooo!" _A shrill scream pierces the air as Clove leaps to her feet. Her fists are clenched. "So if I'm sharing with her, what, is Cato sharing with Lover boy? They'd kill each other in an instant!"

Well finally, someone with common sense.

The Unkempt Man, it's rude, but I've come to refer to him as this, clears his gravelly voice. "When he's out of the Infirmary, they'll have separate rooms. But if they prove they're ready, they'll be put in a room together. As pointed out by our ever-observant Clove…" a hint of sarcasm falls from his voice "the point of this is not to get you all killed before we can even use you."

"Use us?" I say slowly. "What could you possibly use us for?"

Now it's Andrea's turn to give me a sly smile. "Starting tomorrow, you'll be following in your family's footsteps and training as rebels. Did you think we just brought you here for nothing?"

I can't help it, looking at her face like that, I smile a little back. I was beginning to worry that I was becoming a burden, but knowing that I'm here for something makes me a little more comforted. But then a feeling of fear fills me as I realize what's immediately ahead. I'm about to have a sleepover with an unstable Career who hid (hides?) knives in her ponytail. What am I going to do?

The flamboyantly dressed escort from 12 clasps her hands. "Well then, you will head to your rooms where you'll find night clothes and toiletries. There is a bathroom at ht end of the hall. Try not to waste water." She pauses. "And for those of you who don't know, my name is Effie."

Katniss turns to me and gives me an eye roll. I don't know. Maybe she is okay.

Effie leads us down the corridor, past the room with the books and the sofa and to our rooms. They're just as tiny and plain as when I last saw them, but this time there are clothes folded up on the edges of the beds and a toothbrush on top of them. I walk right over and unfold the clothes. There's a nightgown, which is really more of a giant gray t-shirt. Some legging which I guess go underneath if it's cold are next to it, but I haven't noticed any change in temperature here. I start to slip my boots off, when it suddenly dawns on me that someone else is in the room.

Clove stares at me hesitantly. But within a second, she's tearing off her boots and putting the nightgown on. Well, that was fast. I feel my cheeks blush with embarrassment, both for her and for me. Maybe in District 2 the girls aren't quite as conscious as to whom they undress in front of. I cautiously grab the clothes, but before I can think twice, I throw my clothes off and feel the swish of the nightgown against my legs. Once again, the hairs on my neck rise. I slowly turn around. Clove is just standing there, staring at me as though I was the most interesting book ever written.

I give a tiny jump of surprise. Honestly, the effect of her in a nightgown is really quite eerie. But to my surprise, she just mutters "sorry." and picks up her toothbrush.

Still in shock, I follow to the bathroom at the end of the hallway. Thresh walks out, rubbing his shoulders and looking more tired than I've ever seen him. Cove slide the door open. It stays open while she silently runs her toothbrush under water. She gives me a confused look as I stand there waiting for her. She thinks I'm going to go inside with her! Like's it's going to be perfectly normal for the both of us to stand there brushing our teeth. But you know what? I walk in.

Clove shuts the door behind me and continues brushing. I run my toothbrush under water. Man, that girl brushes her teeth hard. "Dental hygiene was h=just really important at the Center. I don't know, to look for the cameras or something." She mumbles he words because of the brush in her mouth and I suddenly remember how Trisa used to make me laugh by doing that. Next to me, Clove pulls her hair out of its immaculate ponytail. It falls down her back in a single dark sheet. I've never noticed before, but it's really pretty. I brush my hair along with her, the tow of us standing there silently as though we don't even know each other. But I guess we don't. Clove looks at my hair. "You know, I've never seen anyone with hair like before."

This takes me by surprise. But why not humor her? There's no use in making an insane girl mad by refusing to talk to her. I make a face at my hair. "Oh yeah, this orange. It's terrible."

Clove raises her eyebrows. "Orange? Not really. When you look at it, you know it's really more of a copper." And just like that, she walks out of the bathroom.

I follow. I have absolutely no idea what just happened. It's kind of like a shell broke. Copper. I like that.

The room is dark and I immediately crawl into bed. It feels safe in an island of unfamiliarity and fear. I huddle under the sheets, which are surprisingly warm. The pillow isn't very soft, but to me a warm bed feels like heaven. If not for the girl on the other side of the room. She's so quiet. It strikes me for just a moment that maybe she feels just as alone as I do. Though my heart feels like it's in my throat, my old habits win out and I blurt out the first thing I can think of.

I'm sorry about Jetta." I whisper.

I brace myself for…well, I don't know what. But a single soft voice whispers through the darkness. "Me too."

When I wake up, I feel as though my head is full of cotton. The room I'm in suddenly seems very small. That's when it dawns on me that there aren't any windows. There is no sun down here. It's very disorienting to me, as the sun has been my source of telling time for a long time now. I stretch my arms to the ceiling and pull myself out of bed. I'm still safe. I'm still alive. That's a good reason as any to get out of bed. Can it be that just two days ago I was in the arena? I throw the sheets off and look at the pile of clothes on my bed that have appeared out of nowhere. I vaguely wonder if there are Avoxes here too, but that's stupid. They look like the exact same clothes as yesterday, but cleaner. I put those on and feel the familiar feeling of worn boots. Clove's bed is empty but the sheets are so tightly made it looks like I could probably bounce a quarter on them.

I run into Katniss at the bathroom while she is brushing out her tangled hair. "Where are the others?" I ask.

She shrugs. "I guess they went to find some breakfast. It's so strange to think that it's just going to be served to us, right?"

"I guess." I say quickly and tug my hair back into its usual bun. I still don't like the idea of talking to her. Or anyone else, really. Except for Thresh.

I walk out of there as quickly as I can just to avoid being in an elevator alone with her. At breakfast, I sit next to Thresh. Clove and Cato sit at a spate table, but for some reason, right next to ours. "So how was spending the night with Fire Girl?" I ask Thresh.

"Ugh, does that girl snore." He winces slightly. That gets me laughing. In fact, I laugh so hard that I almost choke on my gray, murky orange juice. Clove and Cato look over at us. Clove has her eyebrows raised almost comically. Thresh starts laughing a little bit too, so I suppose this morning hasn't been all that bad. Cato turns to us again. "Hey, Enobaria told me to go with you guys to floor number 19. We're supposed to go right after breakfast."

So we throw our trash away in big (gray, you guessed it) bins and walk back towards the elevators. Naturally, the ride down to the 19th floor is silent.

Once the elevator doors swing open with that ding, I'm in the biggest room I've ever seen. It's even bigger than the Training Center, which is something to say. I vaguely wonder if there will be any Games after ours. Surely they couldn't continue them, after everyone in the nation saw what unfolded. What will happen to that huge building we stayed in? It will probably become a place for tourists. Or they might just get rid of it in hopes that everyone will soon forget there were once Games and one year everything went wrong. Well, maybe things started going downhill after Clove's sister's games. I remember a few years ago a girl screwed up her score on purpose and she won because she was underestimated. Then a 14 year old won…so maybe we aren't the first year things haven't gone according to plans.

There is one difference in the room to the Training Center. There is a rack of guns lining the right wall and guns were off-limits in the Games. Along with that, panels of brightly flashing buttons and computer screens light the room. My fingers are itching to get to those. It's been so long since I saw a computer screen or any form of this kind of technology. Katniss is eyeing the section with very high-tech looking bows like a kid in a candy store. Cato's eyes are focused on the guns with a look of amazement. You know, he's probably never picked one up. None of us have. A man dresses in white with salt-and-pepper hair comes over to greet us. He has lines all over his face and dark circles under his eyes, but he is smiling. He shakes each one of our hands firmly. "Welcome past tributes and future warriors." He grins. I'm not too sure I like the sound of that.

"Now I know each of you will have something different to offer our rebel cause. Our ultimate goal is to overthrow the President and return things to the way they were before the Games. We also strove for District equality, so there will be no 'I'm better at shooting than you because I'm from 2' and no 'I'm smarter because I'm from 5,'yes?" He smiles a little again while Thresh and I exchange hesitant glances. "There's one more thing. As you are now citizens of District 13, you will be required to receive some schooling. In the afternoons, you will join the other teenagers for military training as it is required for anyone ages 13 and up of sound mind and body." He gestures vaguely to our bracelets. "Of course, with those you aren't required to do anything, but in order to remove them; it would be wise to integrate yourselves back into everyday life. What happened happened, and there is nothing you can do about that."

The man quickly introduces himself as Dale and takes us through each station, leaving off those of us who would do the best in each. Obviously, Katniss heads right for the specialty bows and Clove goes to the knives, with Cato following, looking a little lost. Thresh and I decide on battle strategy, led by Dale himself. It's much better than actually picking up a weapon, so I'm glad for that. I'm even allowed to watch some working being done on those computers. It's something about the President's mansion and where it would be best to launch an attack. It's interesting, but not exactly what I would plan on doing all day. I turn to Dale. "Dale, how to you tell time here? There's no sun."

Dale points to a bracelet on his wrist and presses it. "Time." He says softly. Instantly, a hologram pops up with the time, 3:30, on it. I nod, taken aback and impressed. Still, it's depressing to live without sunlight. Dale seems to read my exact thoughts.

"Yes, I know, how sad to be living under conditions without sunlight or weather. I'm from District 4, so sunlight is what I miss most about home." He gives me a sad smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes.

"District 4?" Thresh turns from where he is working. "How did you get here?"

"Well, most of us here aren't actually from 13. We got here one way or another, but it's mostly the same origin. We heard a rumor about this place and through trials and tribulations we escaped our districts. Or some of us were specifically called here, which was what happened to me and most of those working here. For me, my rescue came in the form of an undercover rebel working as, of all things, a Peacekeeper. The woman's name was Aria and she simply told me that there was a place called District 13 and my work with weapons would be appreciated. I don't know anything else about her, but she was at our underground rebel meeting sometimes."

"So there are underground organizations!" I burst out.

"Well, of course. In a totalitarian government, what else would you expect?" Dale says. And that makes sense. Give people no freedom and they'll do anything to obtain it. But now he's confirmed that there were rebel groups in 5. Did any of those end up here? Did my own parents?

"Dale, I need you to tell me something. It's important."

He looks up from the grid he's marking with a pencil. His warm brown eyes meet mine.

"Do you anyone here from District 5? My parents were rebels and they disappeared years ago. Is there any way they could be here?"

Dale frowns and scratches the stubble on his chin. "If they just suddenly went without you, it's unlikely. However, maybe they thought it wouldn't be practical to smuggle a small child who might not be able to make the journey. I don't have the answers for you. But there is a man from District 5, who I believe will be your History teacher. His name is Argon."

I bite my lip. It's a start. It will lead somewhere, I know it. And maybe at the end of all this, I will be with my family again.

But a thought strikes me. None of the others who came here with me will be with their families. How could they? They can't just walk into silent houses filled with people mourning and burst open the door shouting "Guess what? I'm alive!" My family might be here, and they're all I will ever need. But the others will never know that.

We're going to be trapped here forver.


	16. Steps

_~I will find my way through night and day~_

By the time morning arrives, my heart is pounding with excitement. I flex my fingers nervously. What would happen if it really was them? Would my parents know right away that it was me? I've been telling myself that I'd know instantly if it was them, but that doesn't seem logical.

Just like yesterday, Clove's bed is empty but immaculate. At first I thought it was the people in white who made our beds for us, so I left mine unmade. But when I came back last night it was as rumpled as ever, with my old clothes all over the floor. Clove gave me a look that I can only describe as disgust. Honestly? She killed two kids with not so much as an ounce of regret and now I'm the despicable one for not making my bed? I think that's how District 2 works. If you murder a few little children, it's totally okay. But God forbid you should leave your room anything but spotless. She's gone again too. I wonder where she goes.

I am glad I get the bathroom to myself. Sharing it with a bunch of murderers was beyond uncomfortable. I meet up with Thresh in the hall and we walk back to the Meal Room together.

"So I guess we're going to school today, huh?" He says gruffly.

"I'm not really sure what to think about that. But I am curious to see how they teach." It's just small talk, I know. What I'm really curious about is whether or not this Argon man Dale mentioned knows anything about my parents. My fingers flutter by my sides. Thresh looks down.

"Are you scared?" He whispers, while we go down to the 16th floor.

"A little" I admit.

Thresh looks at something so intently I turn to look too. But it's nothing but the elevator buttons. "It's okay to be scared." He finally says once we've reached the floor. "I'd be scared too. I mean, it takes a lot of courage to just ask anyone about people you know nothing about."

I smile a little. "It will be worth it. This means the world to me."

Breakfast is quick. Thresh and I sit together, like before. But suddenly, as I'm trying to make some sort of porridge in my bowl last longer, I hear a thumping noise. It's Peeta. He's leaning heavily on a cane and Katniss is helping him. Adorable. I hear Thresh give a huff of air as they sit down right next to us. Is there any particular reason Katniss is always trying to talk to us? And now Peeta's in on it too. Maybe it's just because they think we're the only sane ones here,

Katniss complains a little about Haymitch, who I have finally realized is their mentor, a.k.a The Unkempt Man. Then she and Peeta talk for a while about Peeta's leg. (It's a prosthetic. Congratulations to him.) Even Thresh joins in to talk about the metals or something, which is disappointing. We're not here to make friends with those who tried to kill us or probably thought about it at some point.

Peeta and Thresh talk a little more about titanium alloy and then we can finally go. Katniss walks up to me.

"Haymitch told me that we could find the high school on the 10th floor. Your mentor said that there are only two classes because there are so few kids here. Cato, Thresh and Peeta, since he's a little bit older, are going to be in the second class. The rest of us are in the first class." She pauses. "Even though you and I are a little bit older than most of the kids and I think Clove is younger." She's silent for a little while and I'm glad for that. "You know, Clove is actually really young. She's just 14. I never knew that."

I sigh. "Yeah, it's a little strange to think about, what with the rest of the Careers being 17 or 18; I think we all just kind of generalized."

Katniss shuffles her feet and occurs to me that she might actually be as nervous as I am. So if she's so obviously uncomfortable, there must be a reason she's making such an effort for us to become at least allies of some sort. And I'm guessing it's the same reason Clove was acting so strange two nights ago, the whole "hair thing." They would never make any effort to talk to each other, but I've become everyone's go-to person for an alliance and someone to take their side. I know it's because I'm the only one of all of us who didn't make a single kill.

My first opinion of the "high school" is that it's unbelievably small. We're led to a classroom filled with desks. It's full, but there can't be more than twelve kids. A man with balding gray hair and a gray beard smiles at us and motions for us to come in. Everyone's eye is on us. Clove looks absolutely terrified. Oh, come on. She's tackled an arena full of kids with weapons, killed a few herself and can hit a moving target with perfect accuracy with a deadly weapon. It figures that she's afraid of high school.

"You can call me Argon." The words snap my attention to him. This is the man from my District. He knows how the gray sky hangs so low over the crumbling buildings. He's seen the clotheslines crisscrossing the apartments, waving in the frigid wind. He's been walking past the massive Power Plant with its towers that make you feel so alone and small. The stench of rotting food. The worn shoes that let the cold seep through. The heads bent in faded clothes. He has seen it all. My home. Which I may never see again.

But I can't exactly run up to him begging for information. Instead, I have to sit through class. I'm directed to sit next to a girl with a long, very blond braid running down her back. She turns to me. "I'm Liz." She whispers.

"I'm Finch." I say back. She gives me a friendly smile and opens her textbook. I open mine. Today we're learning about District 1's history. Apparently there was a very brief strike from the diamond mine workers against the doctors for not giving them treatment because they couldn't afford to pay right away. Of course, everyone who participated was shot. But I never knew there were poor people in District 1. I am a little bit confused about how friendly Liz is being. By the end of the class, she helped me with finding the right page and even told me that she was born here in the underground district, one of the few children to be so. And strangest of all, as soon as the clock reaches an hour and I try to get to Mr. Argon, I see her introducing herself to Clove. Did Liz even see the Games? A boy helps Katniss put some books in her bag, grinning hopelessly at her. What?

But I can finally see him. Breathless, I stop him just as he going into the hallway. "Mr. Argon!"

He lifts his hand. "Whoa Finch. Take a breath. What is it?"

I draw a long, shaky breath to satisfy him. "Well, Dale told me you were from District 5. I'm from District 5 too.

He nods sharply. "Well yes, I'm from 5 originally, but I fail to see any importance in that."

I'm taken aback by his tone. He made it sound like there's something wrong about talking about his district. But I press on. "My parents disappeared when I was young. My mentor Andrea and I know that they were, I mean, are, rebels. I just didn't know if they could have possibly come here."

He sighs dismissively. "Do you know their last name?"

I bite my lip. I must remember it from somewhere! My cheeks flush. "I-ummm-I'm sorry. I know it started with a B, something like Barry or Brim or something." I stutter.

Argon frowns, lines creasing on his bald head. "Well if you can't remember their last names then I can't help you." His face softens a bit. "But I am very sorry that you last your parents. The others who came here with you won't be able to see their families either. It's indeed sad."

My face is still red from shame. I don't need his sympathy. I need answers. I don't want this time to be completely useless though. "The classmates have been friendly to us. I mean, after all we've done, don't you think they would be hostile?"

Argon smiles. "Oh no. Here in District 13 there is no obligation to watch the Games, We're free here. So no one watches. They have no idea who you are or what you did. For all they know, it's simply coincidences that three girls walk in together who all seem to be quite cold towards each other. You can start all over gain here."

With that, he goes back into his room to prepare for the next class. I walk to the room across the hall for Algebra. I haven't seen those numbers in such a long time. Maybe they will bring some sort of comfort. But I can't shake Argon's words about starting over. Maybe with the people here, but never with those who came here with me.

As it turns out, they don't teach math in District 2. Go figure. Right away, the teacher asks us what experience we've had in math. In District 12 they go to school until they are 18, like us, but with emphasis on geology or something. But they know enough math to understand how trade works and how much coal should be sold for and how much they can fit onto a train, so Katniss isn't completely lost. But Clove just turned white as she realized she was going to have to talk to the class.

"Well, once I turned 8 I was sent to the Training Center to train full time. I learned a little math every day until I was maybe 11, but ummm, I haven't seen any since. That's just how it works in District 2."

Whispers course through the room while the teacher tries to calm everyone down. She looks very tired, but offers Clove a little smile. "We've had a few children from 2 before and I know they all go to the Center where math isn't exactly emphasized. It's no shame to ask for help, but I don't know what else to do with you so you have to stay."

"You could put me in more Training so I wouldn't get killed as soon as I got out of here. But no, I'm staring at numbers I will never need to know past the test." Clove mutters under her breath next to me. I have to admit, she's right. Aren't we training for an invasion?

But once again, I'm proven wrong. Right after regular classes, all of us go off to Job Training. We have to pick a job outside of military and study with people who actually do it. I pick medicine, based on my long-forgotten dream to own an apothecary someday. How long ago was that time when I was desperately trying to find Reaping clothes and dreaming of my future?

But I'm not alone in my decision. Clove chose medicine too.

Why? Why didn't she just go off with Cato to Security Training? Was it because Peeta chose that too? It feels like wherever I am, she is there too.

The group of us goes down to the Infirmary. Liz spends the whole time talking cheerfully to Clove and me, as if we had been friends for a long time.

"So Clove, you're from District 2, right?" She asks, her blond braid swinging as we walk down another flight of stairs.

Clove gives a muffled "Mmm-hmm."

Liz pauses, her bright blue eyes looking confused. "So if you went to the Training Center, were you training to be a Career?"

I hold in a gasp. Oh God. What's she going to say? Liz's question makes a boy in front of us turn around. His light brown hair falls into his eyes, which light up, but with a cold kind of light. He is daring Clove to trip up.

Clove finally gives Liz her answer. "Well, everyone in 2 was, whether you wanted to or not. It wasn't my choice."

The boy in front of us, who has startling green eyes, glares at Clove. I feel as if I'm crumbling from the inside at this look, so I can only imagine how bad it must be for Clove. Well fine. It's about time she knew what it felt like to be afraid. He continues to glare at her. "So did you want to go to the Games? Did you want to get some honor for your precious district, huh? Were you going to kill some little kids so you could get that crown?"

She looks like a deer caught in front of a hunter's arrow. "What do you care?" She spits out. "You don't know anything." Her tone is as sharp as the knives she throws. Threw. The knives she threw.

The boy leaves Clove alone after that. The others in the group range from shocked to disgust towards Clove by the end of their little exchange. Liz seems unfazed.

"I know that you all probably aren't monsters." She says in a voice I suppose is supposed to be reassuring. For just a split second, I see Clove turn to me and roll her eyes. I have no idea what that means.

When we reach the infirmary, a man with light brown hair that is thinning at the top walks briskly over to us. He is dressed in the white I've seen every adult wearing here, but in the form of a doctor's coat. He smiles at us from beneath large, black spectacles.

"Ah, I see we have some new ones. Well, I am grateful you girls and your families made it this far." He thinks we escaped. Clove and I nod stiffly, unsure of how to respond.

"My name is Dr. Barium. I have to prepare you too to see some things that might make you feel uncomfortable. But know that everything we do is for the well-being of patients. We will occasionally have someone who is very sick or hurt that you won't even want to look at. But it's your duty to find courage."

He smiles again warmly and beckons for us to follow. I think that I'm going to like Dr. Barium.

While Dr. Barium makes his rounds, he slowly lets us off with the patients. Our job is to comfort them and make them feel more relaxed. Apparently, this helps the healing process. I'm sent to help an old woman who had fallen down the stairs and broken her hip.

Her eyes brighten up when she sees me. "Oh, what a lovely girl you are! Now, you must be one of the schoolchildren. I haven't seen you before. Tell me, where are you from?"

I inch in closer. Really, this isn't so bad. I've been through much worse. "I'm from District 5 ma'am." I answer truthfully.

She clasps her hands together. "My name is Rosemary. I'm from District 10 originally, but I came here more than fifty years ago."

I move towards her bedside. "I hear District 10 is beautiful."

Rosemary nods a far off look in her eyes. "Oh, it is. I used to try to tell my granddaughter about it, but she never liked to listen. You know, she hasn't even come to visit me."

I give her a sympathetic smile. "She will soon. And even if she doesn't, I know she cares about you."

"Hah! I wouldn't be surprised if it were quite the opposite!" Rosemary splutters with a surprising amount of conviction. She looks wistful again. "No one cares about an old woman like me."

"I know what that's like." I blurt out. "My parents abandoned me when I was five years old and I was alone in an orphanage for ten years. I know what it feels like to be alone."

Rosemary gives me a childlike smile. "You poor dear. Well, we've got each other, haven't we?"

I smile and nod. She's such a sweet woman, really. So that's how I end up spending the rest of the day listening to how beautiful District 10 was.

When I can finally leave, I see Clove walking up to me. I resist the urge to dodge away, as stealthily as I used to dodge the people at the market after I stole something. But I stand tall. Or so I hope.

"Finch!" she calls loudly. But once she gets close to me, she recoils slightly, as if regretting her decision to be so direct. I know I would.

"What?" I say hesitantly.

"I, uh, saw you with that woman, you're, um, really good at talking to people. I just wanted to say that. I mean, I could never do that. I'm just kind of scared of just, talking to people I guess" Her pale cheeks flush red, her ponytail dipped in embarrassment. The girl who is a mentally unstable "fearless fighter" also happens to be afraid of talking to people. What else don't' I know?

"Thank you." I say, slightly less hesitantly than the first time.

She breathes a visible sigh of relief. "All right, that's done. Finch, will you help me with Algebra?"

I blink slowly. Wait…what? You just drew a knife on me not more than a week ago!

"I know, it's strange." She says quickly and nervously. "But I can't ask that of anyone else. They all still think I'm a monster. You were the first one to find about Cato and I and I don't have a grudge against you for anything. And you don't have a drive for revenge or something on me. You're that way with all us. No one is against you Finch because you didn't give them a reason to be." She pauses. "I did. I did some really stupid things."

I only say what I say next because she honestly looks like she's going to cry. This is obviously about more than just algebra homework. She wants someone there to be able to take her side. I don't know if I'm ready for that yet. Even if she did let me walk off untouched by her knife in the arena that one morning. But maybe, just maybe, this is my first step to putting the horrors of the arena beside me. Maybe this is my first step to begin to have faith in people again.

"Yes Clove." I say. "I'll help you."


	17. Laugh

_~Beyond this door there's peace I'm sure~_

The next day is a blur. All of us go down to breakfast. We sit at separate tables, as always. Katniss and Peeta have moved to sit next to us. It still makes me uncomfortable, but I'm not in any position to protest. Peeta and Thresh get along well, commenting on anything and everything. Thresh's Job Training is at Food Distribution and Nutrition, so he talks about that. Honestly, I found it hard to pay attention to. But Peeta seems to be getting really into it. Either that or he's trying too hard.

Clove and Cato sit at a different table, but this time it's one right behind us. If the circumstance weren't so…strange, it would almost be funny. Junior high much? She leans her head against his shoulder a few times. Honestly, what does she see in him? As I've been finding out more and more, Clove isn't who she appears to be. She's not your typical Career, just like her sister. But Cato is. How many kids are never coming home because of him? Well, none of us are going home. But I'd rather be here than dead.

Admittedly, his little speech about Clove on my first conscious day here was sort of unexpectedly sweet. Sort of. He even smiled. If you could call it that.

Clove keeps looking back at me. It's as if she's looking if I'm still there. Maybe because she's not used to having someone treat her like a sane person (which, believe it or not, she just might be) besides Cato. Whose own sanity is more than questionable.

Classes are the same. They are far more engaging than anything I've ever been to, though. Argon makes for a strict teacher and I'm still left slightly stung after yesterday's exchange, but his History lessons are fascinating. Today we focused on District 2. I had no idea that there is a complicated system children go through in order to volunteer. If children are not chosen to volunteer, many families will literally abandon them. There are over eighty known cases of severe child abuse and neglect over just not being chosen. There are more than a thousand in general. Throughout this whole lesson, Clove stares at the ground.

There is Science and Technology, which I excel at. That and the predictability of numbers in math are what I can understand. Here, nothing is certain.

Finally, after Algebra, we can go back down to the infirmary. Dr. Barium is a very kind person and I can tell he likes being with us. He treats us like equals, not just children. He spends a little time with each of us, though for my little session, he calls me Finn. I don't mind too much and he seems too immersed in his work for me to correct. Besides, he smiles warmly at me and even compliments me once on giving him what I feel should be the correct prescription for a patient with breathing problems.

"Finn, you are going to be a very good doctor one day. You show such compassion to all the patients, especially Rosemary down the hall. I have faith in you." He smiles again over the rim of his glasses as he glances down at a medical record.

But then comes Military Training. It's our first time.

Once we arrive, we have to run around an indoor track until Dale feels he wants to stop us. Clove and Cato run far ahead of everyone, but I find myself, surprisingly, right behind them. It looks like all my year as a pickpocket have paid off. Besides, for once I'm not running from something.

Cato runs slightly wildly. His arms sort of flail out and he has bursts of speed. The whole thing is very uncontrolled. I hold back a laugh because it's so like him. Clove's running is like she's running on water. Her feet barely touch the ground and by the time we're finished, she's barely broken a sweat. The same can't be aid for the others. I'm satisfied to see the boy who gave Clove such a tough time yesterday is panting so hard it looks like he's going to keel over any second. His face is red as a tomato. For some reason, I turn to Clove and point this out to her. Even more surprising, she looks at him and laughs. It's a sharp laugh that sounds like tiny pieces of glass falling. But I laugh too.

Then there is target practice, which is another matter entirely. Each and every one of us is awful at it. I can barely hold the gun straight, let alone shoot it. The first time I try, I almost fall over. The only cause for relief I that everyone, even the "natives" like Liz, isn't much better. If this is their army, well, Dale has a long way to go.

I can see sweat forming on Cato's brow. It must be the first time he's awful at something involving weapons. His anger only makes his handling of the gun wilder. After a narrow miss of Dale's head that nearly gave us all a heart attack, Dale finally takes the gun away from him. But he doesn't direct him back to swords, which I initially thought he would. Instead, he goes to the computers. I stifle a laugh.

Clove turns from where she's wrestling with her own weapon troubles. "It's so we can keep a low profile, I'm guessing." She whispers through clenched teeth. "If he let me get my hands on some knives, it would be an obvious give-away. I mean it screams 'sadistic Career' you know, what with all of those unnecessary noises we've been trained to make for the camera."

She pauses when she sees the look on my face. "It's not like throwing knives actually requires weird noises or anything." She splutters.

She stops and stares at me. And suddenly, we both completely lose it. I practically double over I'm laughing so hard. "Oh. T-Th-That explains so much." I gasp.

I don't why the both of us are laughing so hard that I can see tears in Clove's eyes. I'm betting it's been a long time since she actually laughed. Maybe it's just all the stress and worry welling up inside us over the past weeks. Maybe it's the fact that we're all emotional wrecks. Who knows? For now, it just feels good.

We're asked to stay in the Gymnasium, as the other kids call it, long after the rest leave. We have to practice "special skills." Meaning, Katniss heads over to her fancy bows, Cato goes to swords, Thresh goes to strength training, Clove to knives, Peeta to Strategy and me to well, button pressing. For the most part, I work with him and Dale creating models of the mansion and Capitol Buildings on the computer screens. Peeta is stiff, as all of us are, but nice enough. He doesn't speak up much though, so I'm beginning to get the opinion that he isn't all that great at what he's been placed in. He often gets a look in his eyes like that of a lost puppy. Like the look on a little girl's face when she first ends up at the orphanage. He's lost without her, I can tell.

As we walk back to our quarters in the considerably dimmer hallways, Thresh pats my shoulder quickly. The others have already taken an elevator upstairs after Dinner, but Thresh and I took a little longer. I had to talk to Dale about a small flaw on a blueprint. But since we're alone now, we can talk.

"I saw you and 2 laughing hysterically earlier at Military Training."

"_Clove._" I huff impatiently. "Her name is Clove."

Thresh gets a strange look in his eyes. "Yeah, right, well anyway, what was that about?"

I shrug lightly. "I don't really know. I just think that there's a lot about her, and her district, that we don't know. It just seems like a lot of it is, I don't know, plastic."

"Plastic?" He raises he eyebrows.

"Well, yes. Like it's all set up for the cameras and nothing is really _real. _It's just like a show or something that they put on. You know, 'we're so tough and we're all bloodthirsty and ruthless' and all of that. But look at all we know of the 74th Games and Jetta's Games. It seems to me that they're actually pretty emotionally weak, once you take the cameras away. And I'm not saying they're all good people, but give Clove a chance. As for Cato, well, you've seen the way he looks at her. He can't be all bad."

Thresh sighs softly, which wasn't really the reaction I was expecting. "Okay." He says, practically a whisper. "Will you meet me in the room with those couches and books and all of that after everyone's in bed?" He asks suddenly.

I feel a blush rising in my cheeks. Midnight invitations were definitely not something I was ever used to back home. Cable wasn't that type. That kind of thing was for lovers, which we were not. "All right." I stammer, staring at my feet. Oh, perfect. I give off such an aura of confidence, don't I?

But Thresh just gives me a sweet smile. "All right." He repeats.

I have come to realize that here in District 13, there are some very deep moments spent in elevators. How romantic.

I practically trip over my own feet as I change into the childish nightgown. My fingers flutter slightly with excitement and nerves. Does he want to talk about something serious? Likely not. It's about time my life had a little less seriousness to it. The tiles are ice cold under my feet as I dash to the bathroom but I hardly feel them. Clove stands in front of the mirror as I brush my teeth, running a brush through that flawless dark hair of hers. It falls in a perfect sheet of black. I feel a tinge of jealousy staring at my own wild hair. No brush can tame it as it runs down my back. In a sheet of waves and stray hairs. Oh. Has he ever seen me with my hair down? I don't think so. Clove turns around, absentmindedly twirling a strand of her hair and looking so much like an ordinary girl.

"Why do you look so nervous? Are you in love or something?"

The casual way she asked me makes me draw my breath in sharply. Was it that obvious?

Clove stands, one hand on her bony hip, waiting for an answer.

"Sort of." I blurt out.

"Sort of?" Clove snorts. "Come on, you look like Katniss sprouted wings and shot you with a love arrow."

I try to hold back a small laugh, but it doesn't really work. I'm starting to see what Cato was talking about on that day so long ago.

"It's okay, you know. To look a little flustered with love and all that. Guys actually like that. It makes them feel important. Or at least relieved that you're as nervous as them. The fact that girls have to play hard-to-get and unimpressed is a myth." She says frankly. Then, calmly, she sets her brush on the chrome counter and slips out of the room.

I think I just got relationship advice from someone in love with a viscous killer.

That night, I stare at the red numbers on the small clock on our desk until they blur. Sounds of soft breathing from everywhere around me and a sense of peacefulness around let me know that I'm the only one awake. Peacefulness. Huh. It's so strange that a feeling such as that could be achieved surrounded by the people I would have considered to be my ruthless enemies just a few weeks ago. But now I only have one enemy. President Snow. Dale and all the other instructors have finally let my see the true light of his horrors. It was his fault we all ended up in the arena. It was his fault that Andrea and I have no family left.

But I force myself to swallow the lump that has begun to form in my throat. These thought are doing nothing but make me toss and turn. Besides, it's time.

I hesitantly reach to fix the nightgown, but it's no use. It still makes me look childish. Oh well. Something tells me he won't care.

It feels strange walking through the hallway at night. I'm glad to enter the room flooded with lights, even though I have to shade my eyes because it's so sudden.

"Oh sorry." Thresh mutters and dims the lights slightly, "Ummm…better?"

I laugh a little. "Yeah."

He motions to the seat next to him on the couch. I sit down and he puts his arm around me. Sort of like when we were in the field in the arena.

"So how are you, you know, getting used to all of this?" He asks softly.

"I don't really know. It's frustrating to think that I can't get back home. I mean, they think I'm dead. But I can't help but think that my family might be here."

Thresh nods. "I'm just a little shocked at how, I don't know, these people here with us are so like us. I thought they were all heartless, but we're the same. We all ended some innocent kids' lives and we all are confused." He pauses. "Except for you I guess. You're the only person, even at the final eight, who was innocent."

"Just because I didn't kill anyone doesn't mean I'm not confused." I whisper into his shoulder.

Suddenly, I feel a tear slipping and I reach to wipe it away. Thresh raises his hand and as soft as air wipes it for me. He gently wraps both of his arms around me. "It's okay." He whispers back. And that's all I need to hear.

We both lie down and stare at the ceiling; my head nestled into his shoulder. It fits so perfectly there.

He turns to me. "Finch, I have to tell you something."

"What?" I prepare myself for…well, anything. After all that has happened, nothing can be too much of a shock.

"I-uh-I really just asked you to meet me here because I wanted to get away from Katniss's snoring."

I burst out laughing. He grins at me and soon we're both laughing like mad. Eventually, I bury my head back into his arm. It still smells like what I can only describe as sunlight. We fall asleep just like this.

The room suddenly flood with light. I jump up and I here Thresh groan slightly next to me.

"Whaa?" He mutters.

"Well, look what we have here." Andrea stands in the doorway grinning, one hand on her hip.

I give her a sheepish smile.

She laughs softly. "It looks like there are more lovebirds here than I can keep track of." She looks at Thresh. "So, was it a good sleep?"

He stretches. "The best."

She winks at him. "Better than what you had, if you get what I'm saying."

We all look at each other and laugh again. Andrea looks around quickly. "The others will be awake soon so I suggest you get back to your rooms." She gives us another smile before leaving.

Thresh looks at me when we stand up. "I like your mentor. She's really something. Seeder is fine and all, but she's not really the joking type."

I nod. "Andrea and I have a lot in common. She's become a sort-of member of my unofficial family."

I give him a small wave as I open the door to my room.

This place may be far from heaven, but maybe I'm getting closer.


	18. Sun

_~I must be strong and carry on~_

"Okay, so now you have to distribute."

Clove huffs impatiently. "Who has time for this anyway?" She mutters, but still fills out her answer.

I grin. "Yeah, that's it!"

Clove leans back on the stiff chair in the Dining Hall and rolls her eyes. "Great. So if some guy jumps me with a gun, well, I'm all prepared to give him hell with my math skills"

From right next to her, I can tell Cato is looking at the book too. He tries to cover it by staring back at his gray lump of potatoes, but I'm not fooled. Evidently, I'm not the only one either.

"Hey Cato, there's no shame in looking." Clove says to him. "I mean, I know you probably think it's useless but Finch here is a really good teacher."

Surprised by the sudden compliment, I stare at my feet. Cato gives me a tight-lipped smile. "Really?"

I shrug. The lesson continues with Cato silently looking over Clove's shoulder. When lunch is over, I snap the book closed. Clove looks up.

"Oh, we get to go to the Infirmary for Training now, right?" She's smiling slightly as she says this.

"Do you, um, like it?" I stammer.

She raises her eyebrows at me. "I didn't think I would, but I do. And it doesn't even involve weapons, imagine that!" She says slightly sarcastically before leaping up to leave. She nearly bumps into Katniss, who looks at her strangely. I think that those two have a definite dislike for each other, even after everything we've been through. I mean, really. All of us are family of rebels and all of us made some mistakes. Let's just move on. Well, I know it isn't that simple. I mean, Katniss practically avoids Clove at all costs, Thresh feels extremely uncomfortable around her, I have mixed feelings about Katniss and Peeta, and all of us are scared of Cato.

Right now, he's right behind me.

I quicken my pace, silently willing him with all my might not to come any closer. I feel a hand tap my shoulder. Oh, perfect.

I whirl around a little too quickly.

Cato jumps back slightly. "Oh, sorry Finch."

I mutter something incomprehensible.

"I wanted to ask you for a favor." He says, in a voice surprisingly soft for his…stature.

"What?" I draw the word out hesitantly.

"Could you tell the others to meet up in the Meeting Room after dinner? If I asked them to, they probably wouldn't listen." He pauses. "Yeah, I guess I could understand why." He shrugs casually. My fingers clench. "So anyway, you're sort of a go-between. I mean, Clove's so happy you treat her so…so like a human being. She might not make it real clear, but she is."

I nod stiffly. Is she really that happy? I haven't been doing anything all that spectacular, have I? Their life must be so much harder than we all see it.

"So will you do it?" He asks, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Uh, yeah, okay, yeah." I stammer. He gives me a tight smile before brushing me to get to Clove.

I'm left standing alone.

A mechanical voice suddenly fills the room. "All citizens between the ages of 13 and 18 are asked to travel to the first floor. You will then go outside for one hour. All afternoon training is cancelled."

I blink a few times, trying to register what was just said.

Whoops and hollers fill the space. What was just an organized, quiet cafeteria is now filled with screaming teenagers. It hits me. Outside! Where I can see the sun again.

Liz rushes to me, her hair falling into her face. She grabs my hands in hers. I'm too surprised and happy to pull away. "We're going out!" She cries, jumping up and down. I grin at her and soon we're laughing and jumping and looking like fools. Except not here. Because everyone is doing the same thing! It's just a room of…happy. Everyone takes a mad dash for the elevator and Liz pulls me along into the center of joy. We press into each other on the elevator. I'm squished next to a boy I have never really met, but he flashes me a huge smile. "We spend all month waiting for this." He says loudly.

"No more running in circles like lab rats today!" A voice rings out and everyone laughs. The voice belongs to Jax, the boy who gave Clove the tough time a few days ago. He's very much the "popular guy" figure. And I can't stand him. But who cares? Sun!

The elevator empties out into a remarkably narrow and unadorned hallway. At the end, there is a cylinder. One by one, people are going into it. Just like…

"Noooo!" A low moan escapes from Katniss's lips. It was also a loud one, so everyone in the hallway, which is packed, turns around.

"I can't go in!" She says, her voice shaking. "No, no no. Please no." She mutters over and over again. Everyone stares at her with wide eyes and I wish I could sink into the floor. Jax's eyes look like they'll pop out of his head. Argon, who was escorting others into the cylinder, hurries over to Katniss, who is turning pale and doubling over. Peeta is just staring at the tube with a blank expression on his face. Thresh's brow is furrowed so deeply and he looks like he is so angry he could crush the thing with his bare hands. Clove has her head buried in Cato's shoulder. Well, so much for being inconspicuous.

Jax stares at all of us. "Why are you guys acting so weird? Are you scared or something? I thought you guys were happy…" He trails off. Liz looks extremely worried.

She turns to me. "Finch, is there something you and the others want to talk about?"

I shake my head slowly. "No Liz, its fine. You should probably head up with the others. I'll go talk to my…ummm…friends and catch up to you later."

Liz takes note of my firm tone and, after some inner turmoil with her concerned self, turns to go.

I rush over to Katniss before she lets something slip to Argon, of all people. But she's silent, just heaving slowly, sort of like Thresh is doing. Peeta's out of his trance and just looking helpless.

"Mr. Argon, I can handle this." I say quickly to him.

He raises his brow in suspicion, but to my utmost relief, says nothing and leaves us. I wait for everyone to clear out.

I put my hand on Katniss's shoulder, hoping it feels stronger to her than to me. Yes, I've had my doubts about her. But we're all human. And I know just how she feels. So maybe it's time I return to my old empathetic self. That girl who gave her bread away to a complete stranger because she knew what it felt like to be completely alone.

"Katniss, it's going to be okay." She looks up at me with wide brown eyes. I clear my throat a little. "We're completely safe here. I know you're surrounded by people who were your enemies. But that's gone now."

She shudders and heaves a sigh. "It's not that. I'm just afraid of what the Games have made me become. It isn't the rest of the tributes who were my enemies, like Cato or Clove."

Cato gives a strange exhaling noise at that, but she continues.

"I'm just thinking of all those kids who aren't coming home because of me. Three. Three!" She moans again.

"But you're still here and we're here too." I say softly. "Besides, you didn't kill me. You saved my life twice. You could have, but you chose not to. So for one person, for me, you changed everything." I give her a small smile.

She straightens up. "I-I guess I never thought about it that much."

I shrug. "So you could think now, that because of you, one more of us got to live."

She smiles now. "Thank you."

I turn to Thresh. "Let's go up."

His eyes light up and I lace my fingers into his. Cato follows with Clove leaning on him. Katniss's fingers are intertwined with Peeta's. Together, all of us go into the sun.

I instantly have to shield my eyes. It's unbelievably bright. Next to me, Thresh's head is in his hands. District 13 must be extremely dimly lit. Our eyes have to get used to the sun.

Maybe in more ways than one. All of us are used to darkness. To feeling alone. But now we are safe and people I thought were enemies turned out to be human after all. But we can't get used to that. Our eyes are accustomed to the dimness.

I blink several times rapidly. After dark spots leave, I can finally see my surroundings.

We are in a field that seems to stretch on forever. There is absolutely no trace of a sprawling metropolis underneath. Grasses blow in the wind and wildflowers grow everywhere. The sky is a brilliant blue. Oh, it's been so long since I've seen this color! A tree stand tall with branches fanning out and everything seems to be golden. A group of people are sitting under the tree, laughing loudly. Girls braid each other's hair and sit making chains out of flowers as if they were small children. But there is something in the land that brings a childlike sense of wonder to me too. What would it have been like to spend my whole life underground in nothing but dimly lit gray hallways? So maybe this really is the only time their childhoods can escape.

Liz runs to thresh and me. "Is everything all right?"

Thresh turns to me. "It's perfect Liz." I say softly. "Everything's perfect."

She smiles absently at me and gestures to Thresh. "Hi, I'm Liz. I don't think we've met."

Thresh looks taken aback by her friendliness. It's no use to tell him that Liz is the friendliest person he will ever meet. And that she has no idea what we've been through. He nods at her. "I'm Thresh. Finch's…" He pauses to steal a quick glance at me, but I have nothing to say. "Boyfriend." He finishes. There, he said it. It feels strange to have it just thrown in the air like that.

Liz gives me a sly smile and I try to give her one back, but it probably looks more pathetic than anything else. "So are you from 5 too?" A note of confusion registers in her voice. I know why. It's pretty well known that the citizens of 5 have pretty pale skin. And 11 is one of the few districts with residents of darker skin. Thresh looks caught, just like Clove did a few days ago. No doubt about it, this act is hard to keep up. But Thresh is smart, right? He can handle this.

"Um, well, yeah, I'm from 11. Lots of rebels there, you know? 'Cause I'm a rebel, so um, yeah." He says nervously. Liz tries to nod politely, but I can see that she doesn't believe him at all. I want to smack my hand into my face. Obviously, Thresh isn't exactly the social kind of smart.

"We met on the way here." I blurt out. But hey…it's not half bad. "Yeah, when our groups were traveling we met up, strength in numbers, right?" I say this more to myself than to Liz.

Liz nods her eyes distant. "It must have been such a hard journey."

I swallow. "Yes, it was. But I had Thresh." It seems like a good moment to grab his hand and he picks up on the cue and beams at me, like a lovesick puppy. Perfect. Liz gives a slight gasp, more of happiness than anything else and floats off to talk to some more of her infinite friends.

Thresh shakes his head good naturedly at me. "Nice one."

I roll my eyes. "Yeah, not much thanks to you."

He laughs loudly. "Sorry about that." He breathes in deeply, inhaling the flower-scented air. A smell I've never encountered before. Sunshiny meadows aren't exactly abundant back home. Nuclear power plant, sweet power plant. Thresh looks at me. "You're something, you know that?"

I blush slightly. "So I've been told." Well, that came out wrong. Oh well, he doesn't seem to care. "So do you want to lie down and do nothing for the rest of the afternoon?"

He smiles sweetly. "That sounds like a plan."

So we do. And every moment spent just staring at the sky is beautiful.

The time to return to the dim hallways comes far too shortly. Thresh wraps his arm around me and we walk back together. Everyone has their heads bowed. One girl no more than thirteen silently throws her dandelion bracelet into the wind. She stands, silently saying goodbye to the sun. It breaks my heart. This is hardly any place for a kid to grow up. She's just Tessa's age, but I wonder what pain she has seen.

Dinner ends, with everyone talking loudly of their time spent out in the world. I look over my shoulder at everyone. Thresh, Katniss and Peeta are all talking to each other, with their heads bent low at the table. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Thresh smiling. Right behind them, Cato and Clove are laughing together. So we may be hundreds of feet below the ground and can only see the sun once a month, but we're safe.

I walk to where the others sit. "Hey, we're supposed to go to the Meeting Room after dinner."

"Fine." Katniss says dismissively. It would probably be best not to tell her it was Cato who called this.

Everyone comes to the Meeting Room, as expected. I'm a little surprised to see Andrea and the rest of my team, as well as the other ones there too. Andrea gives me her sly, knowing smiles as I sit down. I return it to her. Vaguely, I wonder if Andrea had stayed in the district, would she have become a mother? I notice the slight wrinkles in her forehead and around her eyes. She looks like she is that age. But she couldn't because of who the Games had made her become. I'm filled with a rush of sadness.

"So why are we here?" Peeta's sharp question breaks my thoughts and I'm glad for it.

Enobaria looks sharply at Cato. "Well, Cato has something to say."

The tone in the room shifts instantly from slightly bored to confused and slightly scared.

Cato slowly stands up, possibly reveling in our confusion. I notice Andrea biting her lip.

"Yeah, I do have something to say." It sounds like he's saying this more to himself than anyone else.

"I've just been thinking that we're gonna have to work together now. It's not for a cause most of us even knew existed, but we still can't afford to be separate anymore. And, let's admit, at this point, most of us genuinely hate one another."

I bet Clove could cut the tension in here with one of her knives.

"Well, actually, most of you genuinely hate me." There is some noise in the room as people shuffle their feet or clear their throats. "And I get that." He continues, unfazed. "But for me, it never seemed wrong when I killed those kids. It was all I'd ever known. To me, I just considered it to be one more kill. I'd never once thought that maybe these were people with emotions just like me or that they really hadn't done anything wrong. My whole life, everyone in District 2 was taught that these were our enemies. To not be hesitant to kill them even if they were younger because they could be just as lethal. And stop us from getting our honor." He takes a long breath, making eye contact with all of us. "But you aren't my enemies. And now I know that. I also know that you can't just instantly trust me, but I still wanted to tell you that I'm not a monster and neither is Clove. We were just…so confused I'm sure Marvel and Glimmer have similar stories."

Katniss flinches. Anything to do with Rue is a very sensitive topic for her. I think she still refuses to admit that the girl had the intent of murder, even if she was just twelve.

"So that's just why I did the things I did and now I know how despicable they were. And even if you'll never fully trust me, I trust all of you." He fingers the hem of his shirt. "Well, that's all I guess."

Clove suddenly leaps out of her seat and runs to him. She instantly wraps her arms around him and buries her head in his shoulder, just like I do to Thresh. Everyone's a little taken aback because, while they've made it clear they were a couple, they've never shown this much affection towards each other before.

There are actual tears streaming down her face. "I trust you. I do." She turns to us. "When we were in that arena and they announced that two of us could come home, I was willing to do anything so Cato and I could win. But now I don't have to fight anymore." Cato brings his arms around her. "I don't have to fight anymore." She repeats.

"None of us do." The voice is very soft and I realize that it's Thresh speaking.

Peeta nods, a slight smile playing on his lips as he watches Clove and Cato embrace. "We can stop acting like we have to keep fighting." He says quietly to Katniss. Within seconds, her arms are around him too. He returns her embrace instantly. A soft sigh emanates from where our mentors stand. "We're safe." She says, to no one in particular.

"Safe." I repeat, testing the word on my tongue. Andrea turns to me, a jokingly expectant look on her face. I laugh. "Oh all right." But Thresh beats me to it, his arms that still smell like the outdoors around me.

"Well, it's about time!" Aurelia says, clapping her hands together.

"Hey, what's with all the lovebirds in here, huh?" Haymitch blurts out, causing us all to erupt in laughter. Even Cato, Clove, Peeta and Katniss. I've never even seen Katniss laugh before.

So all of us thought we were perfectly safe. Without our families, yes, but they would be sent for soon enough. As for me, I'd never stop searching. But yes, we felt truly safe.

Were we ever wrong.


	19. Taken

_~Would you know my name, if I saw you in heaven?~_

At night, shadows fill the room. The evening was the best so far. Whereas before there was nothing but silence filling the hallway and everyone went to bed as early as humanly possible by teenagers, tonight was different. Andrea brought out a deck of cards and I showed her how nimble pickpocket fingers can also manipulate cards. Thresh joined, along with Aurelia and even Seeder. After a while, Clove came shyly over and sat down, expecting to be ignored. But Andrea dealt her in, giving me a sly look. Within minutes, Katniss, Peeta and very lastly, Cato with a confused grin on his face at Clove the entire time. It was obvious that neither Cato nor Clove had ever touched cards, but it was one of the best nights I'd ever had. Thresh and Cato even exchanged a few words about the History class. Peeta actually said an entire sentence to Cato. Well, he had a right to be more wary of him than the rest, but those feeling are slowly becoming less. Of course, no one expects us to be best friends, but we are allies, that much is clear.

I try to keep the cold from seeping in by going under the blanket as far as I can reach, but it doesn't do any good. The blankets here are made from thin material not meant for cold. I find myself missing, in a strange degree of extremity, my quilt back at the Home. In fact, I almost start to cry. Over a stupid quilt. But it was comforting and it always smelled like lavender and I'd bury my nose into it and imagine that one day I'd live in a huge house, not some dingy old apartment. And my house would be filled with quilts on every bed. And everything, absolutely everything, would smell like lavender. Those fantasies were what lulled me asleep when I was young, and even, though I'd never admit it, when I grew old enough to realize their impracticality. It seems this place; with its bare rooms, cold tile floors, and stark gray walls was never a place where children could have fantasies. I shiver.

"Are you cold too?" The voice seeps through the shadows. Clove's voice has an almost childlike quality to it. Well of course. She's just a kid. We all are, really.

"Umm…yes. That doesn't make sense because we're way underground and all, but you know, it's probably way expensive to keep this whole place heated."

There's a rustle in the bed next to mine. "District 2 was always frigid in the winter. You know, when it got really cold Cato and I would just talk for hours about warm things."

Well, I'm sure she didn't intend to start a conversation. But I still blurt something out anyway, of course. Typical me. "A fire burning in a huge stone fireplace with the smell of bread baking."

"W-what?"

"A burning fire in a huge stone fireplace with the smell of bread baking." I repeat, saying each word slowly.

Though it's dark, I can tell Clove's smiling. I wrap my arms around myself and stare at the ceiling.

"Lying on a sun-covered rock in summer."

The sentence comes suddenly, out of nowhere. It's just a string of words, but it's finished with a smile.

"Woolen socks." I say back to her.

Clove laughs. "Steaming hot soup."

"Mittens."

"A really hot shower, like I could never take at the Center. I'd have it absolutely scalding."

"Fur-lined boots."

"My pillow with the satchel of lavender by the case!" Clove shouts happily.

Lavender?

"Wait-did you say lavender?" I ask hesitantly.

Clove sits up and hugs her bony knees to her chest. "Yes, I did. It just so happens to be my favorite scent in the world. Anything wrong with that?"

"N-no." I stammer, before I realize she was just being sarcastic. "It's just that lavender is my favorite too."

There's a long silence after that. I'm beginning to wonder if I said something wrong.

"My sister's hugs." Clove whispers silently. Her tone of voice, so soft and gentle and unlike her usual hard, sort of growl almost brings tears to my eyes.

"I bet you think I've never had a hug in my life, huh?" She says, reverting to her old tone for just a moment. "Well, my sister just so happened to be the only one who ever did hug me, besides Cato. And you know what? She was damn good at it."

She laughs softly and I laugh too. But is it possible for laughter to be sad?

"I wasn't allowed to watch her Games. I was only 9 and even if people in 2 are considered cruel, there was a rule at the Center to not watch until you were ten. I mean, I knew the 'big kids' volunteered to go to fight in some Games. And they got interviewed and all that. And then they'd come home. That's what I always learned. Some kids didn't, but the tributes from 2? They always came home. She repeats this. Her voice has a distant sound.

"I waited for _weeks." _The last word comes out sharp sounding as nails on a chalkboard. "I just sat by my window at the Center and waited, day in and day out. I thought, any moment, I would see her walking down the street, and she'd see me in the window and smile and throw her arms out for me to run into. But she never came back."

"She never came back." She says again, even more softly, her voice trailing into a whisper carried by tears.

"I-I that's awful." I manage to stutter. "But Clove, why did you volunteer when you were so young? Didn't you think it would be enough on your parents to have lost one child?" Only after I say these words do I realize how insensitive they are. But Clove seems unfazed.

"I never had parents. Not really. My mother left just a little over a month after I was born. I think my father died when I was two and Jetta was eight or maybe nine. She was pretty much my mother after that. It was insane, but I thought my mother was still alive somewhere and by me being in the Games, that's the only she could see her baby again. If I won, she'd feel all this guilt for giving up a baby who would become someone so great. But if I lost…well, she'd feel worse guilt for having lost both children. Cruel and slightly sadistic plan, I know. Think what you wish. It was the Trainers too. They were constantly urging me to volunteer young, saying we needed a young Career for a change. I don't know if you'll ever understand how things work at home, but once again, think what you will."

"No, I actually think I'm starting to understand." I say in what I hope sounds calm. "But there's still one question I can't shake."

"What?" She says plainly, as if pouring her emotions into someone she's only recently become not an enemy to is completely normal.

"If you and Cato were...umm...in love, why'd he volunteer too?"

"It was all impulse." She says dismissively. "He thought if he'd volunteered, he'd protect me. But I guess the appeal of winning won him over for a little once the Games started. That's why I was so relieved when we got here, not angry like he was. I was relieved because I knew I'd never lose him like that again."

She turns in her bed. "I don't miss District 2 and all its lies. No, not at all. But it must be terrible for you because you have something to miss. "

"I have Thresh." I tell her.

"And me and Cato, and Katniss and Peeta. Whether you like it or not."

I laugh softly before falling asleep almost immediately. But she's right, in a way. In the strangest way possible, we're all the family each other has right now.

I sleep better than ever before. It seems like finally, sleep has welcomed me with open arms.

But when I wake up, I know something is wrong.

I know it from the stillness of the air and the low murmuring coming from down the hall. I know it from the absence of the sound of water running in the bathroom and shouts and laughter as mentors and tributes get up. I also know from the fact that I'm up way too early, as evidenced by the fact that Clove is still fast asleep.

"Clove?" I whisper. I get no answer.

"_Clove?" _I say a little more loudly.

"Whaa?" She mumbles, lifting the hair stuck to the back of her neck and rubbing her eyes.

"I don't know how to explain it, but I think something's wrong."

She sits up suddenly. "What is it?"

"Well, I don't know." I say slowly. "But listen. It's way too quiet."

Clove shrugs. "Yeah, I guess it's a little quiet. But if you think something is wrong, do you think we should just stay in here?"

I'm about to try to answer when our door is flung open. Clove gasps, but it's just Andrea. When she sees us staring at her with wide eyes, she places her hand on her chest and takes several deep breaths.

"Oh, thank God, you two are still here."

"Wait, what?" Clove says sharply, looking like she's all harsh angles. When I think about it, her figure matches her personality perfectly. Short and sharp, but with little pools of light here and there, like her big green eyes. But right now, I'm on the edge of my bed with my heart thumping like mad. What does she mean?

"Katniss and Peeta are gone."

Clove stands, crossing her arms over her nightgown and looking like an impatient little girl. "What do you mean they're _gone?_ Maybe they just got up early to eat breakfast or train or something."

Andrea glances around. She seems to have a brief inward battle with herself before she stretches her hand out. "Why don't you girls follow me?"

Clove shoots me a confused glance but I just manage to shrug. We follow Andrea down the hallway, our bare feet catching on the icy tile. At the end of the hallway, everyone is standing in the Meeting room. Well, not everyone.

It's not just Katniss and Peeta who are gone.

All of their "team" is gone too.

Thresh rushes over to me and envelopes me in a hug. I notice he's still in pajamas. Though they have a vaguely chemical-like smell, they still smell like him. Cato runs to Clove. He's so much bigger that when he holds her, his arms can go around her whole body with room to spare.

I turn around. Andrea is holding something out to me.

I gently take it from her hand and the others crowd around me to look at it. It's a note, written on nice white stationary with a border of roses. Strange.

_To whom it may be concerned, _It reads.

_The tributes by the names of Katniss and Peeta, as well as their mentor Haymitch, escort Effie and stylist Cinna have all been taken hostage._

_They are in the Capital as you read this being subjected to proper treatment. They will not remember any of this shortly._

_For reference, I would highly suggest watching the film enclosed. It shows the 74__th__ Games, as viewers are seeing it._

_Also, I must confess to you that I have no better idea than you as to why it ended the way it did._

_Perhaps the President wanted to show Katniss and Peeta why he is angered with them, without revealing the real reason._

_Or perhaps our Gamemaker had a rebellious streak of his own._

_No matter, he has been dealt with._

_And if you can guess what "treatment" I refer to earlier, well, good for you._

_I must also warn you that next year's Quell will be directed specifically towards you._

_Fatal times are to come for all you victors. _

_As for the tributes, I will only tell you to be careful to whom you put your trust in._

_-Stylus_

My hands shake. "Who's Stylus?" I ask to no one is particular.

"Our escort." Cato whispers through clenched teeth. "That traitor!" He shouts so loudly the sound reverberates across the walls.

I try to calmly assess all I know. So their escort was never a rebel. The Gamemaker is dead. Katniss and Peeta, as well as their escorts and mentors are in the Capital getting some sort of treatment. The Games ended in some sort of unexpected way. And there are "fatal times to come."

Clove turns to Enobaria. "What kind of treatment are they getting?" She asks in a flat voice.

Enobaria grimaces and turns to the others. "I don't think it could be anything but hijacking."

"What's that?" She asks, still sounding so emotionless I'm beginning to get scared.

Enobaria grimaces again. "You remember the tracker jackers, don't you Clove?"

Her eyes widen with pure fear. It's an expression like nothing I've ever seen.

Enobaria continues. "The venom, which causes hallucinations, can also be used in a form of torture that makes the victim only remember whatever they're being shown in controlled hallucinations. In a way, Snow is literally controlling whatever he wants them to remember."

There is a silence the reaches up from the depths of the room. It's as if the scene were frozen.

Seeder breaks it by walking up to the table.

She calmly lifts a small, silver square. "Well, I think we should sit down and watch these Games, yes?"

We stare at her for a moment, before Thresh begins moving towards the room with the screen. We all follow numbly.

We sit in the couches and chairs, crowding into the tiny room.

And then, Antony flips a switch.

Enobaria presses a button to fast forward to the Games until the Feast scene. No use reliving the horror that happened before.

The first thing we all notice is that no hovercrafts make an appearance. The cameras show me grabbing a bag and sprinting away. And then, Katniss runs out.

I sit up. "Wait, that never happened!" I shout as loudly as my soft voice will carry. Everyone jumps and Enobaria pauses the film.

Aurelia turns to me calmly. "When you were at the Reaping you gave a blood sample, correct?"

I nod, confused. Everyone else nods too. "But wasn't that just to make sure I was the right person and everything?"

Aurelia sighs dismissively. "But that's not all. People who live in the Districts just have no idea the kind of advanced technology they can have in the Capital. That figure right there" she gestures to Katniss, "could be part clone, part special effects. Either way, it looks exactly real. And, I'm assuming, this is what they're showing them during hijacking."

I sit back in shock. Yes, of course I knew the technology in the Capital was beyond my imagination, but could they really create a whole person?

The Games begin to play again. Clove runs out from the bushes behind Katniss. I can feel her tense up next to me. Is she going to kill her?

Katniss shoots an arrow the same time Clove throws a knife. Clove's knife hits Katniss on the side of her head, while the arrow just grazes Clove's arm. Cato winces as Clove pulls the arrow out, an expression of pain on the clone/ special effect's face. I can't blame. It looks incredibly real.

Then, Clove pins her to the ground. Holding a knife up to her face, she does something I'd never think to see her doing anymore. She taunts her. It's pretty sick, actually. Clove smiling, loose hairs from her normally immaculate ponytail dangling in her face. Her voice with a strange quality, nothing like what she actually sounds like. But viewers in the Capital would never know. Clove and Cato stare at the screen, a look of shock and disgust mixing on their faces. We all know Clove isn't that "play with your prey" type. Maybe Cato, but not her. She is as quick and practical as her knives. And only 14! It's almost as if the Gamemaker is poking fun at the idea of a stereotypical Career.

Just when the knife is about to make contact with Katniss's face, Clove is flung into the air. By Thresh.

Everyone in the room, even Thresh, gasps. He pins her against the wall.

"Did you kill her?" He shouts. I know he's referring to Rue.

Clove cries "no, no" over and over. But it's too late. The death is quick and takes us all by surprise. Thresh simply slams her into the Cornucopia. As she falls limply, there is a visible dent in the side of her head.

Someone has a sense to pause it.

I stare at the screen in shock. That was the most disturbing thing I've ever seen. She's dead, just like that. What amazes me the most was that it wasn't me. I never even had a weapon and here a Career with a score of ten dies while I'm walking away without a scratch.

Thresh goes limp next to me, his head in his hands. "No." He whispers. He looks up at all of us.

"I would never do something like that. I-I couldn't. Please, you have to understand." He looks pleadingly at Clove. But she's not angry. A single tear falls down her face. "Yes, I hated the Careers. I hated them from the time I was thirteen and I lost Heather. But I'd never kill a girl who wasn't even that much older than the girl they said I was trying to avenge. Where does that get me? And she didn't kill Rue and everyone knows it. Well, now I guess, no one knows it. It looks like I'm a monster."

Clove looks at him. "Was there a complete thought in there anywhere?" She rolls her eyes, but I can see her fingers laced into Cato's. "Well, that's it I guess." She turns to Cato. "We didn't win, did we?" He shakes his head blankly. She stares at the wall. "No one will remember me. No one ever remembers a tribute that didn't even make it to the final five. I thought, because I got a ten…" She trails off. "I thought some kind of miracle would happen and Cato and I could still go home." Her voice changes and becomes steely. "Well, miracles don't happen. Least of all to the two lovers no one even cared about." She pauses again. "I'm going to be forgotten.

Just then, I remember our run-in in the woods.

_Let's face it Clove, no matter how you try to cover it up, you aren't completely fearless. You're afraid of being forgotten._

That was what I'd said to her. And I had no idea how true it was.

The screen plays again. Thresh towers over Katniss, but in the end, decides against killing her. Cato's figure runs to Clove and begs her to stay with him. That part is pretty emotional. He's holding her hand, with tears streaming down his face.

"Why would the Gamemaker want to show something like this?" Cato asks, his voice shaking. His whole hand is wrapped around Clove's and his eyes are watering up.

"Like Stylus said, maybe Seneca had a bit of a rebellious streak of his own." Seeder says, seemingly deep in thought.

Clove's cannon goes off and Cato's figure runs like a wild beast to catch up to Thresh. And eventually does. After pinning Thresh down, he only whispers one thing.

"I bet you didn't even know her name."

He kills Thresh with one of Clove's own knives.

Whoa. That was…disturbing, but at the same time, since it wasn't even real, it was almost haunting.

Mostly to me, because I actually know that he didn't, in fact, know her name until after the Games.

Cato is shaking. I'm just confused, because I'm still alive and two of the best tributes are "dead." Somehow, a girl with no weapon has made it to the final four. What did Tessa and Cable think when they saw that?

The next scene is Katniss and Peeta looking for food. A cannon suddenly booms and he walks up to her with berries in his hand and a clueless expression on his face. Well, it looks like Cato got to me. But they find me dead on the ground with berries in my hands. Nightlock. Well that's…not the worst way to go. At least Tessa didn't have to watch some gory scene. Still, it causes my chest to ache painfully because Tessa will think I'm dead. Forever.

Cato turns to me. "Finch, I think the Gamemaker was trying to show something there."

I'm so surprised to hear his voice I almost don't register what he said. "Really? What is it?" I don't see anything but a figure being lifted away on a hovercraft. Dead.

"I think Seneca wanted people to think you committed suicide. I don't think people will notice that, but I did."

I'm momentarily in shock. "_Suicide?" _

He nods solemnly. "Well, it makes sense when you think about it. I mean, you never had a weapon and you never killed. He probably thought those were your morals acting or something and he wanted to illustrate how noble you were. Apparently, you'd rather commit suicide then kill. I mean, once you got to the final four you knew killing was inevitable, or you'd face a gruesome death and everyone you knew would have to watch it. So you didn't want them to see that, so you quietly took some berries you knew were poisonous. I don't think Katniss or Peeta or anyone will know, but we do. We know that you got that score because of plant identification. T-that man really is something else."

It's dead silent. Cato's hardly ever even said a sentence.

We watch the Games in solemnity again. It ends at the Cornucopia. A bunch of wolf mutts, made to resemble us, I think, try to claw Cato, Katniss and Peeta to bits. Katniss shoots an arrow at Cato's hand and he falls for the mutts. It's terribly gruesome, but I suppose they edited it. Katniss shoots another arrow at him and he's silent. The sun rises and the mutts disappear. Now it's just Katniss and Peeta.

They've won. But not yet. A voice announces the rules have been revoked and they know have to kill each other. But they don't. Like me, they choose suicide. In these Games there are probably more attempts at suicide than any other. Just as they're about to eat the berries, the voice announces that they can stop. They have both won after all.

No doubt, that Seneca was put to death. But now, Snow's logic is that he can show Katniss and Peeta why he wants them dead, but not the real reason. I feel myself shaking slightly as the last strains of the anthem play. That was unbelievably haunting.

The screen clicks off.

And with it, go all the true memories of who we really were.


	20. Found

_~Would you hold my hand if I saw you in heaven?~_

Our mentors and prep teams have long since left the room. I think we want to follow them, but then we'd have to talk about what we just saw.

And no one wants to do that.

I just stare at my pale hands. Lately, they've seemed even paler. I've noticed we've all developed a sort of haggard, washed out look. Of course, one would think that we would look a lot more haggard in the arena, but it was different. Everyone had a light in their eyes then. Granted, it was the light of adrenaline or hatred or something along the lines of that, but now everyone's eyes just look…dull. Like we're not seeing anything.

Or maybe just that we choose not to.

I feel a rough, leathery hand around mine. I squeeze Thresh's hand back softly and we make eye contact. His brown eyes meet mine.

"Do you want to just get out of here? I don't know where we'd go, but I just want to get out of this room and go anywhere."

He nods. "Okay."

Cato and Clove take no notice of us as we leave. I think they're still in shock that everyone at home thinks they're dead. And dishonored. And a shame to their district. When I turn to leave the room and shut the door quietly, I see Clove's tiny body shaking against his. And I look back at Thresh.

"I'll catch up to you in a second. Just walk to the elevator, all right?"

He sighs a little softly, but he's gotten used to my seemingly strange and impulsive decisions. As it turns out, I'm completely different than that girl on the screen, the girl the whole nation is seeing. She's clever and thinks things through, all without saying a word. She plans and avoids contact with everyone. The complete opposite of what I actually did.

It's almost as if Seneca created a character. For all of us. And I have to admit, that man was a genius.

Thresh closes the door softly behind us and I have to smile a bit. He just knows exactly what to do all of the time, doesn't he?

"Clove, I know that wasn't really you." I say softly.

She lifts her head slightly. "So what?"

"It was a character." I blurt out. Like she's really going to understand my strange way of thinking.

Cato turns to me with eyebrows raised. "A character."

I nod a little too quickly and feel my neck snap uncomfortably. "Well, yes. When you think about it, it's just a show. A sick, twisted form of entertainment, you know?" I'm afraid of making eye contact with him so I just tuck a lose strand of hair behind my ear. "So it has to be entertaining." I say to myself slowly, to myself as well as to them. "The Gamemaker gives the people what they want to see, and they wanted to see brutal Careers and they got them."

Clove gives a huge huffing sound. "It's not fair." She whispers. "It feels like I got cheated or something."

The air in the room becomes instantly tenser. "_What?" _ Cato shouts.

She shrinks a little. "I just feel that if everyone thinks I'm dead and no one even remembers me, what's the point in living? Why can't I just be with Jetta, wherever she is? To everyone else, I failed. I'm gone."

She suddenly lets a gut-wrenching sob loose and Cato wraps his arms protectively around her. I'm just left standing alone.

"If it makes you feel better, I could feel like I got cheated too. I got cheated out of being in heaven with my parents. I mean, I committed _suicide on live television. _I am, without a doubt, dead too. Dead and forgotten. I was just that one lucky girl who somehow made it to the final four and then didn't even bother trying. But that's not it. That's not who I am. The truth is, _I never give up. _And Clove, I don't think you do either."

She makes a noise between a sigh and a whimper.

"We're still here." I say.

"So let's live a little." Cato's voice never fails to surprise me. His eyes are a little brighter than before.

I nod, filled with relief and happiness. "Exactly."

Cato looks slowly around. "Hey Finch, go on and live a little, will you?"

"Wait, what?"

He grins. "Your boyfriend is still standing there waiting there for you."

"Oh ummmm okay, I guess." I blush and slip out the door while Cato and Clove laugh.

Sure enough he's leaning against the wall, trying desperately to look casual. "Hey, you okay?" He asks.

I smile at him. "Yes, I'll be all right."

We go down the corridor and stop at the elevator. He shrugs at me and I press the button. "So what floor?" He says, his face clearly saying "well, here goes Finch not thinking things through." But I love that look on his face, like how he knows everything about me.

I toss my hair back. "How about 3?" I say confidently. I catch him rolling his eyes good-naturedly before pressing "3."

Once again, I feel his hand on my own. "Sorry about Rue." I mumble.

He sighs a bit. "I knew she was too far gone, I just didn't want to admit it. Just like I was with Heather."

"How exactly did you know Heather?"

"Our houses were next to each other and our grandmothers were friends. We worked together in the orchards. When Rue came to work when she was just 7, before most kids, Heather was the one who guided her around and explained everything to her. That was just before the Reaping."

He moves his hand over his hair. "I found a picture in her drawer, after she died. She drew it when we were maybe six. We were together, holding hands in the sun. Once, two weeks before the Reaping, we did that in the field behind my house too. Just held hands and felt happy."

His voice drops at the last part.

"So I take it I'm not your first girlfriend then?"

He shakes his head. "No, but she's long gone now. I was getting the age where everyone my age was getting a girlfriend, but I just couldn't. I wanted Heather back, even if we were only 13."

"So why me?" I ask softly. We're so engrossed that I don't even notice that we've been out of the elevator for quite some time now.

He laughs, actually laughs, and I feel happiness spread through me. "You're everything, Finch. Absolutely everything."

Suddenly, I stop. We've reached the end of the hallway. I move my feet absentmindedly. I find myself wishing for the feeling of the cracked and crumbling asphalt of home under my feet, instead of one-dimensional tile.

"Botanical Laboratory." Thresh exclaims.

"What?"

He grins at me and points to the sign. "It looks like there might be plants down here after all."

I lift the door handle.

"No, Finch! What are you doing? There's no way we can just walk in there, right?"

I give him a sly smile. "Well it's not locked." Sure enough, the door gives a click and swings open.

"Finch…" He mutters softly.

"Oh whoa." I breathe.

It's absolutely beautiful. Long green plants hang from the ceiling, their tendrils reaching down like open arms. Vines snake up the wall, bearing flowers in colors so bright I almost cover my eyes. But I force myself to keep them open anyway. I'm walking on a narrow strip of tile, but the ground surrounding it is covered in plants of all shapes and sizes. Brilliant emerald green and cool brown flood my eyesight. The air is steamy and warm. I hear the faint sound of water running.

"Come on!" I grab Thresh's hand and take off.

He lets himself be pulled hesitantly. We're greeted by a small waterfall. I've never seen one before, just pictures in books. The rocks around it are covered in moss. Orchids, my favorite flowers, grow in crevices. Oh, they're so much more beautiful than in my book. I reach out to touch a petal, afraid of some kind of plastic or paper to meet my hand. But it's soft and fleshy and very real. I run my fingers over the moss.

"Oh" I breathe again, smiling to myself.

"Finch, I want you to see something."

Thresh, who was looking so worried a moment now, is grinning from ear to ear.

"I'd be happy to see whatever it is, Thresh. I see you're no longer completely cold."

He laughs warmly and laces his fingers into mine. We stroll through some dense bushes, stopping for a moment to admire their bright red flowers. Then, we stop in a clearing.

Tall trees tower above. There is a reflecting pool in the center, it water still as glass. Petals float listlessly on the top. I recognize the trees as magnolias, with rich cream-colored flowers. The air smells sweet from their scent.

Suddenly, happiness overwhelms me and I throw my arms around his neck.

"It's perfect." I whisper.

There is a small bench by the pool, as if just for us. We sit there and I lean against him, my feet swinging.

He runs his finger gently through me hair. "I just wish, more than anything, that we didn't have to see that."

I shrug. "I don't know if I feel the same way. I was afraid Tessa would have to see some violent, staged death with blood everywhere and all that. That would have crushed her. But mine was peaceful. And I think it really made everyone watching think, you know?"

His fingers pause above my hair. "Yes, you were the luckiest of all of us, I feel."

I stare at the petals, floating. What do those plants feel like, so far from home? Do they feel as trapped here as we do?

"That's me." I finally say. "I'm always getting lucky."

The air is silent for a while. I realize that, though gorgeous, there is something wrong. There is no breeze so the petals stay motionless on the water. If I concentrate on that long enough, it almost seems unnerving.

"Do you think they'll be all right? He isn't going to…kill them is he?"

I don't have to ask to know who he is talking about. "Of course not." I shake it off as though it's casual. Two people who were quickly becoming friends as well as allies were kidnapped, along with all their mentors. They're being tortured and won't remember a thing about us. I shuffle my feet a little. "They're going to have to have the Victory Tour, right?"

"Yes, that's true. But what comes next?"

The sentence from the note echoes through my head. _Dark times are ahead for the victors._

"I think…" I say slowly. "I think he's going to change the Quell."

Thresh breaths slowly. "Oh, I wouldn't put it past him."

"So do you think Andrea will have to go back?"

He gives me a long, sad look. It's enough. He knows how close I've grown to my mentor. I've never had any type of parental figure for me, at least not one I can remember. But then she came and it was like…someone was taking care of me. I would even go as far to say it's like losing your mother.

My eyes water slightly. The trees become blurred, their features softer. I feel arms around me and I lean into his shoulder. I have him. I will always have someone.

"Oh my!" Thresh and I instantly jump at the high-pitched shout. After all that has happened, it's fair to say that we get surprised more easily than most.

A small man in a white lab coat hops out from behind a bush. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to surprise you."

"Sorry." Thresh mumbles. "I guess we shouldn't be here."

But the man just chuckles. He was on wire-rimmed glasses. I notice that he's old, probably someone's grandfather, with his gray hair and smile wrinkles.

"It's really quite all right. You know, I don't see too many people here. I'm actually glad for someone to talk to."

"But it's so beautiful here!" I burst out.

He shrugs good-naturedly. "Not too many people know about this place. The fact it's on the very end of a hallway on a floor with absolutely not else on it usually keeps me from getting guests."

Thresh rubs the back of his neck. "This is really something. You must be doing a great job."

"Oh well, plants are a bit of a passion for me." He says, gesturing to the watering device in his hand. "I'm from District 12 originally, my father's job was finding edible plants to sell and my mother was somewhat of a healer, so I grew up around them. I came here with them when I was little more than a baby during the very end of the Dark Days."

I hold in a gasp. The fact that the Dark Days were short enough ago that someone is still alive to talk about them is amazing to me. They always seemed so long ago. He must be old though, at least 75.

The man clasps his hands together. "My name is Buck, and what about you two? What's your story?"

"5." I answer.

"11." Thresh says at the exact same time. Buck looks confused for a moment.

"We met on the way here." I say, giving the well-rehearsed response.

"Ahhhh…" He says softly. "Being from 5, do you happen to know a Finn? My good friend Dr. Barium is always talking about her."

I feel my cheeks turning slightly red. "I…umm…I think that's me."

Buck's smile is so warm that neither Thresh nor I bother to tell him my actual name.

Suddenly though, Buck's smile quickly turns into a frown. "I'm sure it was hard to get here. Everyone had to give something up. I understand why you're here. I'm not going to make you go because it is so easy to be homesick here. There isn't a drop of green or light anywhere. I know you two have been through things no children your age should have seen."

He doesn't know the half of it.

"We had to leave the rest of our families behind." Thresh stares at the ground intensely, his soft voice not much more than a wisp.

"Oh." Buck's expression softens and he looks truly sad. "Oh, that is tragic indeed. Well, perhaps someday when everything is right again, you will see them." His face brightens slightly, "I know you will. Why Dr. Barium is hoping for the same thing."

"What?" It seems unimaginable for me that he might have had a family outside this District. I'd just always thought he was from 13, even though I hadn't really had proof.

"Oh yes." Buck nods his eyes far away. "Yes, his is a tragic story too. He had to leave his little girl behind. The journey would have just been too hard on her."

Instantly, I feel a tug of sadness. Where is that little girl now? Does Dr. Barium think about her as often as I think about my family?

"Where was he from?" Thresh asks.

"District 5." Buck answers simply. "And his little girl was just five years old too."

Five years old.

A wall of emotions hits me. I blink twice and plant a foot down to steady myself.

"What was her name?" The words come out clipped sounding, as if it's not really my voice.

"Finch."


	21. Why

_~Time can break your heart~_

My footsteps make hollow echoing sounds as they pound. Emotions course through me. Anger spreads like fire. Confusion races through my head wildly. Sadness weighs down on my chest.

_Why?_

I'm barely conscious of my finger pressing down on the elevator buttons. 14. The Hospital floor.

Gray is everywhere. I want hot, angry reds. I want violent strokes of orange. Black reaching out its cold hand. I long for the shiny glint of copper, cruel as this whole thing is.

_Abandoned._

But there is nothing but gray. I feel my hand making contact with the wall. A cage. That's what this whole place is. They said we were safe. Only to have our most powerful allies kidnapped. They said we were rescued.

Only for us to be trapped forever.

But most of all, I just feel pure disappointment. He is my father. I know he is. It just wasn't supposed to be like this. We were supposed to have recognized each other instantly. Felt some kind of emotion.

But here, what emotion we have left is meant to be locked up.

Every day the military training. Exhausting exercise. The grueling schoolwork. The rigid schedule. It fits now. We were supposed to be constantly busy, constantly at work. It was so that no one could remember the true hardships they'd gone through. The ones who had made the journey over, starvation, Peacekeepers and disease killing family and friends. The few citizens left of 13; their homes obliterated and forced to live without sun. None of us were supposed to be thinking of that. Was it organized this way out of sympathy, so we wouldn't constantly be overrun with grief? Or was it just for their own personal gain, emotionless soldiers who follow every order.

The thoughts run through me. I try to get them to start. I try to breathe. But nothing works.

I just want to go home. Wherever that is.

As I get out of the elevator, trying to focus on putting one foot in front of the next, I almost collide into a nurse. "Can I help you?" Her voice is clipped. Mechanical.

"I need Dr. Barium. Now."

She takes a look at my desperate eyes and disheveled clothing.

"All right." she mutters. "He's in the room at the end of the hall examining some X-rays."

I somehow remember to mutter a "thank you."

Before I open the door to the room, I stop to take a long, shaky breath. Am I really about to do this? Maybe it would just be easier to continue the way I was. Not to disturb him. Just focus on what "family" I have.

_No Finch. You've come this far. You spent your whole life looking for your parents. Now they're right in front of you. Just open the damn door._

With a sudden burst, I fling the door open.

Dr. Barium looks up from the X-ray he's holding. His glasses fall slightly and his mouth rests in a surprised "O."

All the anger I've felt towards this man, all the confusion, suddenly wells up inside me.

"You left me behind!" I scream. The words echo through the room.

He drops the x-ray. "Finn, please calm down. I don't know what you're talking about."

"You. Left. Me. Behind." I spit the words out. "All these years I thought you were _dead._"

I pause. His glasses are still crooked. What was I expecting? Some tearful, hug-filled reunion with flowers and laughter everywhere? How could I have been so stupid? My whole life I've been stuck in one sick fantasy. One sick Game.

"And my name isn't Finn. It's Finch."

He lets out a sound like I've never heard before. It's like some kind of animal. A combination of grief, shock, and sadness all in one. He's finally realized the true horror of what he'd done.

Instantly, he rushes forward to me to embrace me. His arms wrap around my chest. But my arms just fall limply. But then, he begins to sob. His tears make dark gray stains on my T-shirt.

"It's you. It's really you. Oh, please forgive me. I had to, Finch. I had to."

I pull away from him. "Why?" I ask flatly.

He shakes his head. "The journey was too hard. In our group of 10, 5 were shot by Peacekeepers trying to cross the border of 5. Your own mother was one of them."

I feel myself give a sharp intake of air.

His head falls limply. "We had to leave quickly. A good friend of mine tipped me off that Peacekeepers had heard of a rebellion I was helping to instigate. They were going to kill me and my wife. He offered to help smuggle us out, but we couldn't take you. If you cried, you might give us away. And I knew you'd have a better chance of surviving in 5 than if you came with us. If you somehow didn't get shot, you'd starve to death for sure."

"We thought we'd come back for you once things got better. We'd see you again. We just wanted the best for you, Finch." He wipes his eye hastily with his sleeve. "I'm sorry." He says weakly.

"Can you forgive me?"

I look him over. His warm brown eyes filled with tears. The crooked wire-rimmed glasses. Hair falling limply. Smile wrinkles now creased in worry. He really is sorry. He wants his family back just as much as I do.

"No."

He reels backward as if I've punched him in the gut. "What?" He swallows quickly. "Finch, please. I can't tell you the guilt I've been living with and how badly I wanted my little girl by my side. But it was what was best. You would have certainly died."

"But if I had come with you, even if I had died, I would at least…" My voice trails off. "You wouldn't know." I spit out.

"What?" He gasps. Then again, "Finch, what is it?! Please, I'm your father. You. Have. To. Tell. ME!"

"I was in the Hunger Games."

He blinks twice and for a moment I don't even know if he heard me. Then, "No." He whispers. "Noooo." A low moan fills his chest. "What did they do to you?" He whispers and buries his head in his hands. "What have they done to my little girl?"

He crumples in a heap on the floor, glasses falling off his face. I slowly move towards him. Gingerly, I rest my hand on his shaking shoulder.

He looks up at me with bloodshot eyes. "How did you win?"

I shake my head slowly. "I didn't. Well, not really. Some rebels infiltrated the whole system. Some believe even the Gamemaker was on it. They rescued the last six of us with some hovercrafts and brought us here. But the President reconstructed the Games with the help of the Gamemaker. The bottom line is, the whole country thinks I'm dead and some kids from 12 named Katniss and Peeta won. They're being hijacked right now to think that too as we speak."

His brow creases. "How could they both have won?"

I run my finger through my hair. "It's complicated, but like I said, the Gamemaker was likely a rebel himself. He all these characters for us, nothing like what we really were. A little girl was played to be an innocent tear-jerker, but in reality played a part in murdering another tribute's ally and likely his girlfriend, and seriously injuring some others. Then this Career who killed her was made to be some heartless monster, even though he was just stupid from revenge and grief. T-This guy from 11…" I don't know what to say about Thresh. But my father is looking at me with wide eyes, anticipating something.

"My ally and boyfriend from 11 was this big, hulking, killing machine who preyed on Careers and left the outer-district kids alone. But I know he only killed one girl and felt horrible guilt the entire Games. And then these Careers who are really so misunderstood and so in-love and protective of each other, they were just the villains."

"And what about you, Finch?" He asks softly.

I look down at the floor, hot tears falling one after the other. "I was really intelligent and noble guess. The Gamemaker had me sort of commit suicide rather than kill someone."

His eyes widen. "Would-would you actually do that?"

"I only wish I could say yes, but I don't know." All of a sudden, everything hits me like a weight. Everything I saw. All those children who aren't coming home. David with his trusting smile…Who did he leave behind?

And all the others too.

Did Lacey's family cringe when they saw her light the flames? Were Bree's parents' eyes filling with tears when they saw their daughter do everything she could to protect a boy she didn't know and save herself? They might have felt nothing but shame when, even though she was so much weaker, she still teamed up with "bloodthirsty" Careers. Someone out there in District 1 could be sobbing because they'll never see Glimmer's smile again. Was Marvel's family ashamed or saddened because of the unjust blame? How is Rue's family without its little light?

In a rush, I just feel so tried. My legs shake and give under me. I collapse onto the floor and let out a gasping sob.

A shaky hand goes onto my shoulder. My father gently strokes it, up and down. "I'm here now Finch. And I'm never going to leave you again."

I wipe a tear from my eye. That was just what I've always wanted to hear.

"I just can't believe you're here."

I let out a laugh between sobs. "Neither can I. All of us in these Games were chosen because we were somehow tied to rebellion. We were supposed to die."

"But you didn't. You're here."

My father gets a far off look in his eyes. "Did you know when you were small; you used to talk all the time."

The statement comes out of nowhere, but I shake my head.

Dr. Barium grins. "Oh yes, you were the most energetic little girl. I used to hoist you up in the air so you could pretend you were flying."

"I remember that!" I cry out.

"And you used to sing! Oh, you had the most gorgeous voice for a little 5 year old. It was so sweet sounding. Do you still sing?"

"I-I haven't really tried in a while."

He nods sadly. "I was expecting you'd answer something like that. But I'd do anything to hear my little girl sing again." He pauses. "Though I suppose you aren't so little anymore."

I shrug. "I don't mind. It's been so long since I was someone's little girl."

He shakes his head firmly. "No, you were always mine. Even if I couldn't see you."

"I know it wasn't your fault." I whisper.

"Thank you." He whispers back. Then suddenly, "This mentor, Andrea, she won the Games a while ago. Isn't she on morphine? How did she mentor you?"

"She was on morphine but she hasn't been for a while. She did it for me, when she found out the Reaping would be rigged. She said I reminded her too much of herself and she just wanted to get one kid home. So she tried everything, even getting into the rebellion. For me. She's so selfless I still can't imagine it."

He clasps his hands. "Finch, I have to tell you. I know Andrea. Perhaps that was why she wanted you to live so badly."

"How?!"

"We were, well, childhood sweethearts you could say. But Andrea was an orphan and I couldn't marry her. It wouldn't have been allowed."

A breath catches in my throat. "Wait-you wanted to _marry _her?"

He takes a deep breath. "She was almost 19 when she was chosen. She was so close. But she just lost it after the Games and I knew I couldn't marry her then, more than ever. But yes, there was a time when we both wanted nothing more than to spend our lives together. It's hard to imagine such a strong love existed. Over the years I willed myself to forget her. And now she's right here too."

I try to think of something to say before tears well up again. My eyes are sore from crying already. "What should I call you now?"

"Anything you wish, I suppose. It's been so long since you called me 'daddy,' but you're 16 now, not 5. You could call me by my first name, Mac, but that might be too cold. I know this will be so hard to get used to, though."

"Maybe when I can, I'll call you Dad."

He pushes back a tear-soaked strand of hair from my face. "That would be fine with me."

I stare at the tiles around us and X-rays scattered on the floor. "Thresh will be worried and the others will too. We should talk to Andrea."

He nods slowly and thoughtfully. "Yes, I suppose we should." He offers me a rough hand and helps me up.

Together, we walk out of the room. He keeps his hand on the small of my back. A few nurses stop what they're doing and stare, but no one makes any move to stop us. We exit through swinging doors. He keeps his hand on my back. It tells me that he's here now. He wants to protect me.

He's here.

As it turns out, Andrea finds us before we can find her. She sprints down the long hallway, unaware of stares from onlookers.

"Finch! Where were you? You just took off!"

I step in front of Dr. Barium. "Andrea, this is my father."

"Mac." She breathes. Then, "Mac!" She shouts and instantly throws herself into his arms. I jump back out of surprise, but Andrea and my father are laughing with tears streaming down their faces.

"Mac, how did you get here? Where's Lyra?"

My father sighs. "She passed away on the journey. But I have what's left of my family right here." He puts his hand on my shoulder.

I smile up at Andrea, even though all of us are crying. "Yes, I have my family here too."


	22. Begin

_~There are no more tears in heaven~_

**4 Months Later**

It's small, tiny really, but it's ours. The walls are gray, the floor is gray, even bed sheets are gray. But I don't care anymore. What I have is enough.

It took my father and me a while to get used to the idea. He knew Andrea far better than I ever did, but he'd been away from her for over 20 years. And I'd just met the man who was my father. But eventually, we put our fears aside.

As a doctor and a "valued citizen," President Coin gave us a little larger room than others. I'm surprised she did that, even after the sob story we all told her. She looks so stiff, with that perfect sheet of gray hair. But she signed some forms quickly and motioned us out of her office. I guess she has more important things to do.

I lay down on my bed, or rather, cot. I do have my own room. Andrea and Dad share a room. I prop _2275 _on my lap and start to read. Just another slow District 13 Sunday. I know its Sunday because that's the one day we get off from Military Training.

The door to my room swing open and something lands in my lap. Instinctively, I brush it off. I look down at it and realize it's just a roll, my favorite thing to eat. I swing my head around to the doorway, where Andrea stands grinning slyly.

"How'd you get away with this? You know how protected the Meal Room is!"

Andrea sits down next to me and shrugs. "Evidently not enough."

I laugh and take a huge bite out of the roll.

"So how's Thresh?" Andrea asks, trying to appear casual.

"Fine." I say through a mouthful of roll.

She makes wide puppy-eyes at me. "What, you're not going to tell me anything else?"

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot. He's been working really hard in Nutrition making sure everyone's meal portions are _exactly right._"

Andrea tosses a piece of hair back and we both laugh.

Suddenly, she turns to me. "Do you miss your mother, Finch?"

I answer honestly. "It's hard to miss something you never remember being there, I guess."

"Ah, I see." She whispers.

"You want to marry him, don't you?"

"W-what? Finch, where'd you here that?" She splutters, her face turning pink.

I roll my eyes. "I'm 16, not 6. You suddenly meet up with the man you wanted to marry, but weren't permitted to by some stupid unwritten rule. His wife passed away years ago and he's now got a kid who you kept alive for him. Then, you get living quarters together. I put two and two together."

Secretly though, I desperately hope I'm not wrong. That would be embarrassing as hell.

"It's true. We were thinking that, but I asked your father if I could talk to you. Just to make sure it wouldn't be…too hard on you."

I shrug a little. "It's just pretty sudden, that's all."

She nods. "I know what you mean. We were thinking of waiting a few more months. Until things settle down a bit."

She means until both of us can realize that what happened in both our Games can't be changed. What's done is done. She means until the nightmares stop and I no longer jump at every sudden noise.

"Yeah, ummm, okay," is all I can manage.

"I know how horrible it's all been, Finch. We've both seen unimaginable things and we've witnessed children die. That's not going to change. But there's no rule that says we have to live in darkness forever. If we see a light, we should go for it."

"And you found yours." I say quietly.

She smiles with the sweetest far-off look in her eyes. "And Finch, though I don't think you'll admit it, you've found yours too."

Tears blur my vision, but for the first time in my life they are tears of relief. Of joy. I lean my head against Andrea. She wraps her arms around my back. We sit like this for a while. "You have my full permission to marry my dad. And I'll be right behind you."

"Thank you." She whispers.

I pull softly away from her. "I think I'm going to go visit the others."

She smoothes an invisible wrinkle on her pants. "That's a good idea. Give Thresh a kiss for me, will you?"

"_Andrea!_"

I exit the room filled with the sound of her laughter.

By now, I've mastered the twisting corridors and endless hallways of this place. I know what each floor holds and I even know where to find a little bit of beauty here. Thresh and I try to visit our little garden at least once a week. I know the customs here. When greeting someone, you offer them a little bow of your head. It's supposed to be a sign of respect, showing them you're sorry for any losses they've suffered. Everyone's lost something here. Liz, whose life I always thought to be relatively perfect, lost her twin sister in some kind of pox epidemic. And she told me Jax, who as it turns out pretty much everyone, even the natives, hates, lost his mother in the same epidemic.

So I guess it's fair to say that there really is more to everyone than meets the eye.

Hands shoved in my pockets, I shuffle over to the elevator and press the button to my old Living Quarters without even thinking. Vaguely, I wonder if Dale will call Cato, Clove, Thresh and me to special training today. He has a knack for doing that at the worst times. Lately, Clove's been giving private lessons on knife throwing. I'm not half bad at it now, actually. And I must say she's been getting good at Algebra, though every kid in 13 regards it as the most useless subject.

Cato still can't shoot a gun.

The elevator swings open with a _ding _and I step out into the place I called home for over 4 months.

I walk into the Meeting Room, where everyone is huddled around a small screen. Thresh moves to make for me and I stare down at it. It shows District 1. I can tell because of the brightness in the buildings and the wealthy looking citizens.

"What's this?" I ask to no one in particular.

Seeder answers. "The Victory Tour. They're showing the districts in chronological order. Katniss and Peeta are going to say a few words now."

Clove leans over my shoulder, impatient to hear what they'll say. My heart is racing too.

Katniss steps up, wearing a gorgeous dress. "She looks so hollow." Clove whispers.

Cato cracks a knuckle. "Yeah, like her eyes are open but they aren't seeing anything."

She says a few monotonous words about the "bravery of District 1 and its volunteers" and how "beautiful their district is."

That's it.

"That was sort of creepy." I mutter.

"That was sort of sick." Thresh murmurs back.

"Shhhh…They're moving on to 2." Cato whispers harshly.

The contrast between the districts is almost sad. Where District 1 had jewel tones and wealthy citizens, District 2 has grays and blacks, and citizens creased with frowns and glares. My eyes wander over to the place where the families of the "dead" stand while Katniss and Peeta give their speeches. Clove's has no one. Cato's has a man with graying hair and a snake tattoo wrapping around his neck. He must be his father. A mousy looking woman, wringing her hands and wiping away tears stands next to him. He turns with a harsh expression on his face and whispers something in her ear. She stands up straight as a rod instantly.

Well, that explains a lot.

"Greetings, District 2." Katniss begins. Peeta just stands to the side, looking nervous.

"I want to commend this district on its constant bravery. Every year you send two volunteers who are stronger than the rest."

Clove gives a snort.

"I'm sure Cato and Clove were some of the bravest tributes these Games have ever had the honor of seeing. They wanted victory above anything else and they stopped at nothing to get to it. But they were more."

At that last sentence, a silence hangs in the room.

"Is she breaking through?" I whisper.

Enobaria shakes her head sharply. "No, but it's not like she's a robot or anything. She's still the same girl, just with a screwed-up memory."

"Clove was smart. Really smart." Katniss continues. "When the tracker jackers attacked, she was the first to run to the lake. She knew how to think on her feet. And it takes a deadly sense of precision to have an aim as perfect as hers. She got a score of 10, one of the highest ever." Katniss pauses. "I recently found out that she was only fourteen at the time of her death. Imagine; fourteen and getting a score of 10. That's something to remember her for."

Clove sighs and buries her head in Cato's chest. "Not really." She mutters.

"Cato was ruthless. He was unbreakable. At least so it seemed."

"What?" Cato shouts. Enobaria quiets him by putting a hand on his shoulder.

"When he saw Clove lying there, he just lost it. I could see that. He loved her. And I'm sorry to anyone who had the honor of training these two. That's all." She finishes abruptly.

"It's almost like she wanted to say more." Clove says softly.

"But she's just a puppet." Thresh spits out.

Districts 3 and 4 are unremarkable. She and Peeta say some words about how they "didn't know much about the tributes, but they're in a better place." Oh, and they said Garrett was smart. There's no mention of Bree trying to protect her young partner or the bravery all of them showed.

But now they've reached 5. My home. Or, it used to be. I see everyone assemble in the crumbling square; clouds of smoke fill the air from the nearby Power Plant. A few people cough and I hear crying. The camera zooms in on a little girl's face. She looks no more than 7 and she's standing at Atom's family section. He also has a younger brother and another sister, maybe 11 or 12. All are sobbing. The mother tries to comfort them, but ends up having to lean against her husband for support. I've seen him before…he was the vendor who tried to chase after me! He's seen me pickpocket and steal dozens of times.

There's no one on my family section. Well, it's not like I'd expect there to be. They're all here. Still, it's a little sad just to see an empty section.

Thresh wraps his arm around my waist. Peeta walks up to the podium. He taps the microphone once. "Greetings District 5. Thank you for your tributes. I am sorry one was lost so soon in the Bloodbath. I'd like to commend you for bringing one of the smartest tributes the nation has ever seen. She had speed, agility and most of all, courage."

I feel a kiss on my cheek, so soft I hardly even notice it's there.

Katniss steps up to the microphone. "When I tried to get food from the Careers' camp, she somehow figured out that the ground was mined long before I did. The way she hopped over the mounds like it was nothing was something to admire. And at the Feast, she just ran right through when all of us were still waiting and planning. It was a genius plan. Her death was sudden, and peaceful. I hope that offers you some consolation."

The camera zooms in on a girl. Tessa!

Her dark hair falls limply around her face, obviously untouched by a brush. Her cream-colored blouse is wrinkled and her navy blue skirt is too big. She isn't wearing shoes. Tears stream down her face as she clutches Cable's arm. But I notice his eyes are watering too. Why aren't the girls at the orphanage taking better care of her? The least they could do is give her some shoes! It hits me like a weight. I'll never see my Tessa, the one with her eyes shining and smile lighting up her face. There's just this Tessa, an empty shell. And Cable, with his crooked grin whenever we were planning something. What's going to happen to him?

And then, something strikes me.

"They never said my name."

The others look at me. "What do you mean?" Clove asks tentatively.

"They don't remember my name."

"I'm sorry." The words come whispered by Cato, which is a bit of a surprise. He sees the look on my face.

"Well, I know how terrible it feels not to be remembered the right way."

A sigh sort of spreads throughout the room. A few of us nod. We continue watching the speeches and finally get to 11.

It doesn't look like a pleasant place to have a childhood, though I can't be one to speak. At least his district doesn't have nuclear waste everywhere. Orchards are everywhere, with rotten fruit spilled on the ground. People cover their noses as they walk to the square. The Justice Building is crumbling and covered in ivy. Almost everything is covered in vines or moss. The people assembled look tired, but their eyes have sort of a light to them that I can't quite place.

"Are they…angry?" I ask Thresh.

He frowns. "Well, who wouldn't be?"

I have to say, Katniss's speech for them was nice. In fact, the part about Rue brought tears to my eyes. I'm not the only one. I catch Thresh wiping his eyes too.

Katniss finishes. And then, a whistle. Its four notes, but they sound sort of eerie.

Thresh turns to me. "That's Rue's whistle! I'd know it anywhere."

_Bang!_

"What was that?!" Someone shouts. I'm not sure if it was Clove, Seeder, or even me.

A farmer, the one who whistled, is dead. Blood stains the front of his worn overalls from a bullet wound. A Peacekeeper stands behind him with a gun positioned to shoot again.

I stifle a scream. Suddenly, people are everywhere. They run about wildly, screaming and shouting. Some tip over things. Mass chaos ensues. Katniss and Peeta are shepherded into the Justice Building. The sound of feet pounding fills the screen. People stand in groups, waving their fists and chanting. One man holds up what looks like a giant painting of Rue, covered in flowers. Fire rips through the screen above the stage where the speeches were given.

Our screen goes black.

"What. Was. That?" Clove gasps.

"My district." Thresh says simply.

"They're really doing it." Seeder whispers.

Enobaria shakes her head. "I have a feeling the President knows just what he's going to do to stop this."

"Do you think it has something to do with what's on the note?"

Enobaria stares at me with piercing blue eyes. "I think it has everything to do with what was on that note."

Seeder gives us a sad look. "Maybe you all should get back to what you were doing. Let's try to establish some sense of routine. I think that would be best for everyone."

Clove and I end up walking together. Her head in tilted downwards, the ponytail she always wears still swinging. She looks up at me with wide brown eyes. "Hey, say something to cheer me up. You're good at that."

"Oh, ummm, yeah sure." I think for a moment, and then turn to Clove. "Hey, can you be a girl for a second?"

"W-what?" She splutters.

I laugh. "Like, a shallow, stupid girl."

Clove stops walking for a moment. Then, a smile light up her face. She takes a strand of hair and twirls it, a look of pure absent-mindedness in her eyes. "'Kay" She giggles.

Huh. That's pretty good. "Okay, Thresh and I found this garden a while back. It's kind of hidden down here. We go there sometimes and it's really romantic."

She claps her hands to her face. "Do you kiss? Oh my God, you kiss, don't you? Tell me!" She squeals.

"Wow. Ummm, that was pretty convincing."

She _straightens_ and resumes her usual smirk. "Why thank you. But seriously, tell me everything."

I grin. I kind of like this new Clove. "Yeah, we kiss sometimes. He's really gentle about it, you know."

She sighs. "Ugh, Cato sure isn't."

I take one look at the expression on her face and we both burst out laughing so hard that we lean on each other for support.

"Really though, Finch. You've got a great guy."

"Attention anyone between the ages of 13 and 18, it is time to go aboveground. Please file to the elevators in an orderly fashion."

The clipped voice interrupts our laughter.

Clove and I stare at each other and I feel as though I'm grinning from ear to ear. Outside. We're really going aboveground.

Suddenly, Clove grabs my wrist and practically pulls me towards the elevator.

"My dad and Andrea are chaperones this time. He had to fight a bit to get the position because everyone, no matter how old, wants a chance to go outside more." I pant as we race through the hallways.

"They're so nice together." Clove and I abruptly stop at the elevator while she pushes the "Up" button.

"Yeah well, they're getting married."

"They _are?_"

"When things settle down a little. Maybe in 3 or 4 months or so."

Clove smiles. She really does look like a little kid when she smiles. She's 15 now. "Hey, how do people get married here anyway?"

I shrug. "Knowing Coin, she probably just wants some papers signed and done with, but I bet they'll find a way to incorporate tradition."

"Oh, what kinds of traditions exist in 5?"

"They light a spark on a wire-thingy."

"That's kind of cliché. In District 2, they both put their hands on a hammer and break through some kind of stone. It's supposed to signify the power of love to break through obstacles."

I'm a little surprised Clove knows this. "You seem to have cheered up quickly after those speeches." I blurt out.

She sighs softly. "Well, why not just be happy with what I've got. It's enough for me."

"Definitely." I whisper. We step into the hallway filled with kids. We're elbowed and pushed around and my foot is stepped on at least 3 times, but no one seems to care. Everyone's laughing and calling out to each other. A girl leans into her boyfriend, laughing like mad. A group of girls no more than 13 stand giggling and whispering happily to each other as they wait for their turn to enter the tube that will take them up. Jax stand with a group of boys who are what Liz, Clove and I think are "the wrong crowd" but they all have grins on their faces just like everyone else. I even notice Jax giving Liz what looks like a genuine nice smile. And, like typical Liz, she returns it.

"Finch!"

I turn around at the sound of my name. Thresh waves me over from where he and Cato are standing. I run over to him and bury myself in his arms. He laughs softly and returns the hug. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Clove and Cato doing the same thing. They really look sweet. The look on Cato's face is something I can't place when he's around her. It's like a look that says…he wants to protect her. Thresh gets the same look. And I'm glad for it. It's nice to finally have someone there for me when I need it.

Thresh wraps his arm around me and we walk towards the tube. Cato and Clove have their fingers laced together. Suddenly, Thresh kisses me. Softly and unexpectedly, like always. Clove laughs and pulls Cato into a passionate kiss that I'm impressed a 15 year old even knows how to do!

"Well get through this." I hear him whisper in her ear when they finish.

"Finch!" I hear my name called again. Andrea gives me a wave and she and my father walk over. Andrea smoothes back her hair. "So, are we ready?"

Nods come from all of us. "Good." My father smiles.

He and Andrea hold hands, her pale bony ones in his tan ones. He looks so at peace when he's smiling at her. And she looks so happy. It must have been so long since she was last truly happy until we were together. Cato has his arm wrapped around Clove's waist. She's laughing, dark hair falling in her face. Thresh's arm is around my shoulder. I put my arm around his too and he smiles to himself. And I feel safe. No more crying. No more tears in heaven, right?

And then, we enter the sun.


	23. Epilogue

**Epilogue-How they ended Up**

Andrea-Andrea, as the only female victor in District 5, was reaped for the 75th Games. She was killed. She had been married for 10 weeks.

Dr. Barium-Dr. Barium, despite the losses he suffered, bravely continued to practice medicine and train new "recruits." These recruits included a 13 year old girl by the name of Primrose. He became a medic at the army camps during the Rebellion and continued living in District 13 with his daughter long after it ended.

Dale-Dale continued training soldiers to fight. He became a good friend and partner of a man from District 3 named Beetee.

Clove's mother-Earlier, Clove mentioned that her mother had "run away." She had tried to escape to District 13, but never made it.

Jax-Jax went on to fight in the Rebellion. He was killed in battle. He'd always had a crush on a girl, but never had the courage to tell her before his death. That girl was Liz.

Liz-She became a doctor shortly after the end of the Rebellion. But 12 long years after it ended and District 13 was no longer needed, she moved to District 10, where sunlight was guaranteed. There, she married and went on to have 4 children. She did eventually find out who Clove and Finch really were, but that had no effect on their friendship.

Cable-He never forgot Finch. Cable fought in the Rebellion, believing it was something his best friend would have wanted. He was shot and eventually died from his wounds. He strongly believed Finch had committed suicide rather than be forced to kill. Cable never learned that Finch was alive the whole time.

Tessa- (Whose name randomly changed back and forth from Trisa. That's embarrassing. I apologize.)She somehow made it through the Rebellion. Tessa grew up and left the orphanage, becoming a teacher. She married a simple Power Plant worker and was able to live a somewhat normal life until her best friend and sister-figure showed up at her doorstep more than 20 years after she "died." Even after all that time, Tessa recognized her instantly.

Enobaria-Though she was initially rescued, Enobaria was killed during a torture method in which she was demanded to tell where Clove Cato and the others were located. She let them kill her rather than tell them.

Aurelia-Aurelia was honored by President Paylor and worked for her as a negotiator between her and the Capital Citizens.

Antony-He became the President's personal stylist, as well as the stylist for Beetee, Katniss, Peeta, Annie and Johanna every time they gave speeches.

Cato-Cato eventually came to terms with what he had done in the Games and began to move forward. He fought in the Rebellion, making sure to stay out of Katniss's sight, and just for precaution dyed his hair brown. He was shot in the arm when he jumped in front of Thresh to protect him and got it amputated, but lived. When he was 22 and Clove was 20 they married. Both of them moved to District 4 shortly after. Cato is a very proud father. And yes, he eventually was able to shoot a gun.

Clove-Along with the others, she fought in the Rebellion, though as a medic. She worked in the army camp along with Finch's father. After the Rebellion and her marriage, she and Cato moved right across from Finch in District 4. They never could separate. She has three children, two boys and a girl. Their names are Gallant, Max and Jetta.

Thresh-After a brief inner-debate with himself, he proposed to Finch. In their secret garden. He fought in the Rebellion and lost two fingers, but was otherwise unharmed. Though of course, no one asked him, he was adamantly against the idea of a Capital Games. He and his family moved to District 4. Of course, Thresh can never forget the Games, but for some reason, he says that they may not be bad to remember.

Finch-Like Thresh, she was against the idea of a Capital Games, and convinced Clove and Cato likewise. She felt no need for revenge, but stated that no one should have to see what she has. After President Paylor took over and the districts began to become somewhat more equal, she and Thresh moved to District 4. There, they saw the ocean for the first time. She has twin girls named Heather and Andrea. Everyone she knows says she's the happiest person they've ever met.


End file.
